To be dreading going on holiday

(48 Posts)
Holly94 Mon 08-Jul-13 14:49:28

Going to Spain for a week tomorrow with my friends. We're all 18, however I'm now 9 weeks pregnant. Obviously holiday was booked prior to surprise baby.

It was too late for me to cancel and I didn't really want to. However at a meeting last week to arrange who's going in what room etc, I found out each room sleeps 4 people and that there'll be 2 twin beds and 2 camp bed type things. I asked if it was okay for me to have a proper bed as I really haven't been sleeping well recently and my friend told me 'being pregnant doesnt entitle you to a proper bed'. I was also told not to try and disturb them on a morning throwing up. Sorry but I can't really control my morning sickness! Some of the girls have also been saying stuff like 'please stay out all night with us, a few drinks won't hurt the baby'.

Arghhh! I know they can't really be expected to understand - they're all counting down to freshers week and I'm counting down till my due date, but it's just so frustrating sad

musicalmum40 Mon 08-Jul-13 17:00:15

Sound advice Lady Clarice. It does sound like you might be too stressed to enjoy it and being the odd one out can be miserable - sorry

No very good friends are they?
If you do go, grab a proper bed right off and if anyone says anything, tell tough luck I got it first. Don't even bother drinking and if you don't want to stay up all night don't. Take good care of yourself and just ignore the bitchiness.

ReginaPhilangie Mon 08-Jul-13 16:14:09

They do sound like they're not being very nice to you about it. sad My DSD went to Ibiza a couple of years ago with her friends and one of them had just found out she was 8 weeks pregnant. They all 18 at the time too. Honestly they all rallied around her for the duration of the holiday. Made sure she had enough drinks, had the best bed, didn't pressure her to stay out all night when she was tired, didn't make any remarks about her not drinking. DSD dotes on her friend's son now, and they're all still really close.

Do you have anyone in the group that you're particularly close to? That you could talk to about how you're feeling and she could maybe give you a bit of support? Perhaps if one supports you the rest will follow?

If money is a worry it will cost less not to go a you won't have to spend on food and (soft) drinks. They sound selfish as friends go tbh - I remember being pretty self absorbed at 18 but no to a bed and encouraging you to go out drinking is horrid, never mind the jibe about the morning sickness.

If you think you can still enjoy it by all means go but there is NO point in throwing good money after bad if you won't enjoy yourself sad

Congrats on the PG and I hope it gets easier for you thanks

happyyonisleepyyoni Mon 08-Jul-13 16:02:48

They do sound inconsiderate, but its not that surprising, a bunch of 18 year olds aren't going to have a clue about what pregnancy is like. Its not just the nausea, its the constant exhaustion in early pregnancy that really gets you, especially in hot weather (IME). The journey will also be very tiring, especially if it is a very early or late flight.

The money you have already spent on the holiday is a "sunk cost", you will not get it back if you don't go. You will therefore not "lose" money if you choose not to go, you will just lose the holiday. However if you do go, it will cost you more money on food, drinks etc, so if money is a real worry you would be better off not going anyway.

LIZS Mon 08-Jul-13 16:01:07

Can you book an extra room so everyone can have a proper bed or a single so you can go to bed when you need to and no risk of disturbing anyone if you feel unwell. If they are that insensitive and unsupportive that they will try to pressure you into late nights out, don't go .

Holly94 Mon 08-Jul-13 15:55:54

Thanks Kelda. I just want to get away. Found out I was pg very unexpectedly 3 days before I sat my A-levels, had a suspected ectopic and have had to deal with constant shit off my family for choosing to keep the baby so I want to sit by a pool and do nothing for a week. Just wish my friends were a bit more sensitive but I suppose I can't really expect them to be as they don't understand.

Branleuse Mon 08-Jul-13 15:54:43

id cancel. Id rather lose the money than have a shit time

kelda Mon 08-Jul-13 15:53:18

I think you should go, and try and enjoy it on your terms, because your life will be busy enough once the baby is born.

If you are already suffering from sleeping problems and morning sickness, then you should definitely get first choice of bed.

Take a few good books to read so you have something to do when your friends are drinking and hungover.

Make sure you have travel insurance.

Holly94 Mon 08-Jul-13 15:50:00

Bugsylugs, Ive had an early scan at 6 weeks - baby and heartbeat smile
Booked in with midwife for 25th July. Tried to get an earlier one but they wouldn't let me so don't think my 12 week scan is gonna be 12 weeks!

Holly94 Mon 08-Jul-13 15:48:38

Crinkle just because I don't have an 8 month bump I have to sleep on a camp bed? sad
I'm in a lot of discomfort, I get stretching pains and I struggle to sleep especially with constant nausea. If it was the other way round of course I'd give up a bed for one of my friends.

VikingVagine Mon 08-Jul-13 15:40:42

Definitely don't go, you'll be saving money, not wasting it.

Bugsylugs Mon 08-Jul-13 15:38:57

Hope you have your EHIC card and travel insurance. If you have insurance you can cancel (advice is scan before travel) if you don't go and get some now specifically for pregnancy.

Drink plenty of fluids on the flight, wear flight socks, remember your folic acid. Have you booked in with the midwife yet?

Enjoy

Save your spending money and don't go.

Crinkle77 Mon 08-Jul-13 15:33:34

To be fair to your friends you are only going to be 10 weeks pregnant and it's not like you will have a big bump to contend with. I would understand if you were further along in the pregnancy that you would need a proper bed. As for the rest of the stuff they have been saying then yes they are selfish.

whois Mon 08-Jul-13 15:30:42

Oh just go and have a nice time. Relax in the warm with some good books, grab a real bed, smile and be friendly and go out with your friends for a few (soft) drinks before getting an early night. Just be happy and if there is a problem it's clear it will be theirs. Don't rise to any catty comments or atmosphere. Enjoy some holiday meals and exploring somewhere new.

Have a nice time.

Holly94 Mon 08-Jul-13 15:30:09

They're not the sort of people to get me to drink without knowing; I've told them firmly that there is no way I would even dream of putting my baby's health at risk for a drink. I didn't really drink pre-pregnancy either as I had an intolerance - a couple of drinks and I'd have my head down the toilet!

MrsPercyPig Mon 08-Jul-13 15:29:00

Poor you, an awful situation.

I really would suggest you don't go and just forget about the money.

You'll be far happier in your own comfy bed.

I went abroad this time last year at 9 weeks pregnant; I was with my mum who really tried to look after me and we were staying with family but even so it was awful as I just felt so rubbish.

I really wouldn't go.

maddy68 Mon 08-Jul-13 15:28:45

Ok I think you need to calm down a tad.
You will still have a great time.

Go home early if you need to. You will have a bed. They will have just said that but when the chips are down etc.
yes do go out and to be honest the odd drink won't harm just as long as it is the odd drink

You can still have fun around the pool in the day

At night go home when you need to

Make sure all your food is hot etc

You will be fine. Have a lovely time cx

NoComet Mon 08-Jul-13 15:26:44

I'd go, but I don't mind my own company, so I'm quite happy swimming, reading and wandering on my own if the rest want to drink until the early hours and get up at lunch time.

Also small babies don't like the heat and can't swim for any useful period of time, so they are hopeless to take on a beach holiday until they are three or four. They won't let you read until they are 8-9, so go and chill.

Kafri Mon 08-Jul-13 15:26:09

I'll be honest and say id be more tempted to cancel.
You're going to end up getting back to your room on your own while your friends carry on the partying (which I'm not saying is wrong as its their holiday too, just a fact)
You're going to spend a lot of time refusing drinks (are your friends the type who would try to get you to drink a couple without you knowing)!?!
They've made it clear that they're unlikely to look out for you re sickness.

I get the impression that you're going to end up pretty isolated on this 'friends holiday'

Badvoc Mon 08-Jul-13 15:23:29

They all sound awful op.
Look after yourself, because you share as hell wont be able to rely in them sad

SummerMyArse Mon 08-Jul-13 15:20:40

Don't go.

Chalk it up to experience.

I've lost money from not going on holidays when I was a student. Very annoying at the time but the right decision for my mental happiness.

I've also been on holiday with 2 friends that I pretty much argued with from day one and had a miserable time.

If you do go, lots of suncream (otherwise you can get skin pigmentation which you can't get rid of), lots of water and a wide-brimmed hat.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 08-Jul-13 15:19:56

I'm sorry but they sound horrible. I agree with the poster who says that in her world, a pregnant friend would automatically be offered/allocated a proper bed – that goes without saying, doesn't it? hmm

If you feel like you need/want a break in the sun then go. Socialise as much or as little as you want to and enjoy some time reading/lying around. If anyone gives you any shite about not drinking, going to bed early or having morning sickness, just tell them to mind their own.

If all this sounds too stressful then I'd suggest you cancel. One way to look at it is that the money is gone anyway; it doesn't make any difference to that fact if you go on the holiday or not.

And get some better friends, honestly.

As you will be the first to bed you can nab whichever is the comfiest.

Ignore any snidey remarks, put your feet up in the sunshine and relax.

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