To ask if you slightly regret having a 4th child? Is it just too much?

(36 Posts)
Paperlessy Fri 05-Jul-13 22:28:38

Obviously no one would regret having a beautiful child but I just mean, do you sometimes look back and think about how much easier it was with 3? In terms of holidays, cars, money, getting out of the baby stage and perhaps the delay in going back to work? Or maybe not being able to give the older ones attention when needed and help with homework because there's a new baby?

We have 3 and are thinking about a 4th. But the truth is we're just not sure. Both being one of 3 however we hate the idea of there always being one that's left out.

Please give me your honest feelings and thoughts on this. If I'm totally honest, I sometimes have days when I think about how much easier it was just with two. But our 3rd is gorgeous beyond belief and we love him to the moon and back!

Overall I think it's definitely more fun with 3 but when it's difficult and everyone's tired it's also so much harder. I wonder if I would cope with 4, mentally and physically.

ninani Fri 05-Jul-13 23:13:35

If you can cope with 3 I think you could cope with 4! Especially if your youngest is toilet trained and can also follow what the eldest do thus being more independent with basic things.

Good luck smile

Garcia10 Fri 05-Jul-13 23:23:23

I would have loved to have had just two children however I know that compared to many that I am lucky to have my beautiful daughter. I think you should feel blessed to be able to have four.

mumofweeboys Fri 05-Jul-13 23:23:40

I agree that it depends on the age gap. The bigger the gap the easier it is ie once they 3+ they can do liitle things for themselves which takes the strain off. Under that they r still babies really.

We have five, with the youngest three being close in age (well 3 babies in four years) and it is hard work. There are times when we do say things like "this is your fault for being so bloody virile/fertile" but we don't mean it iykwim.
We would have had more if we'd had room/money/a big house/perfect health etc, but when we had no5 we knew he would be the last - really if we'd been "sensible" grin we wouldn't have had him, but we did grin
We had to draw the line after him though sad I'd have loved seven sons with as many daughters as came along between them if our circumstances had allowed

OutragedFromLeeds Sat 06-Jul-13 00:26:27

Why seven? Do you have a 'seven brides for seven brothers' fantasy? grin

It was Will Stanton being an Old One in the Susan Cooper series blush
They were some of my favourite books when I was a child grin

oops should have said - he was the "Seventh Son of a Seventh Son" - I would have been the MiL from Hell if I had had a 7th son lol. His poor wife would have been a brood mare to my dreams bless her non-existant cotton socks

I have four and love it.

It is no harder than 3 and maybe even 2 (number 2 is seriously a hard work child though). I am busier. I never stop. Do I mind, not yet (number 4 is only 6 months old)?

We have always planned on having a large family. Yes many package holidays might be unaffordable but camping certainly isn't. We do budget and save for big days out and manage a few a year. I am aware of course that at the moment number 4 does not cost as anything- so this will change.

I have about 3 years in between them. The gaps aren't huge but bigger than I would have liked.

Private education is out for us but I am a SAHM. If I worked full time we could afford it but then I wouldn't be around for the kids so much so it's all about choices.

I love having four. The heart wants what it wants and I am very lucky to have what I want. Any sacrifices I have made are worth it. My children all appear happy and content with being part of a large(ish) family.

My husband is one of 5 and all him and his siblings get on really well and all want large (ish) families.

eshie Sat 06-Jul-13 00:56:06

Thought about it a lot prior to baby number4. Then had total unexpected mc. Devasted. Had number 4 he is a blessing and a joy both in deed and in his nature, we have never regretted it. Our children are 12, 9 6 and 2 the little one is totally adored by all, friends, family, neighbours etc! It is undeniably hard work, we have very little help and1 family member living near by ......we make time for each one and try very hard to give each what they need, sometimes being part of a big family and always having s sibling to play with Is all they need which is fantastic .

KobayashiMaru Sat 06-Jul-13 01:10:02

you just get on with whatever you have. Personally I think if you make a good stab at parenting the number of children is immaterial, up to a point.

Theselittlelightsofmine Sat 06-Jul-13 01:20:48

No and I had a few more DC after DC4 too smile

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