To think these are harsh things to say to a 4year old

(74 Posts)
1Veryhungrycaterpillar Wed 26-Jun-13 13:32:42

I'm probably going to be told I'm a wimp but I was a bit taken aback to hear an acquaintance saying to her DD that she was naughty and would be taken away by the police and put in a children's home, do I need to get a grip??

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Wed 26-Jun-13 13:52:29

She was laughing about it afterwards. Every little helps!

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Wed 26-Jun-13 13:53:54

But at least you have an insight that what you said was wrong Jacksterbear

Jacksterbear Wed 26-Jun-13 14:09:11

Maybe your friend was mortified by what she'd said and was laughing to try to cover up her embarrassment, 1veryhungrycaterpillar <clutches at straws>. Or maybe not!

Belchica Wed 26-Jun-13 14:17:25

YANBU. My mum knew we used to run and hide on the stairs within earshot of the phone when we were naughty. She would sometimes pick up the phone 'Hello, is that the orphanage? I have some naughty children here, please come and take them away'. i would practically break my neck to get to her, say sorry and make it stop. I have never forgotten the fear I felt with this threat constanty looming throughout my childhood. But I don't think it stopped me misbehaving on the odd occasion. I will NEVER resort to this with my DC.

Maybe your friend is just worn down by a child who despite her best efforts just does not do as she's told? It's not move granted but sure we can all sympathise a bit with how much children can push it and apparent lack of care about anything. Unless she's regularly nasty to her child and is otherwise a good parent maybe a bit less judgement?

And I have already said it wasn't a nice thing to say. But i bet most of us have ashamedly said something we didn't mean.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Wed 26-Jun-13 15:09:36

It just seems like a pattern of behaviour from this person but you are right in the respect that everyone has a snapping point, I'd have more sympathy and less judgement if she seemed to care about it but as I said she laughs and tells others about it like its amusing

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 15:11:36

eww

Soontobemama Wed 26-Jun-13 15:17:47

My mum used to do to me what the body's friend did and it has scarred me as pathetic as it may sound now that I'm a grown adult.

bettycocker Wed 26-Jun-13 15:30:39

It's the kind of thing that many of our parents said to us as children. That doesn't make it right though. Times change.

Purple2012 Wed 26-Jun-13 15:37:38

I wouldn't say that to a child. I would threaten and follow through on going home if they don't behave though.

My nephew can be naughty. On the odd occasion when he has popped into see me at work (police station) he goes really quiet. I think it's because he knows police arrest baddies and he is naughty quite a lot. He has never been told that police will take him away. He is the same when he visits santa. Worried he wilp get told off as santa knows everything.

Didactylos Wed 26-Jun-13 15:38:10

thinking of this The Man

My dad was a Police officer and he once said he was sad to hear parents use him as the boogy man. Now I have dc's of my own I am teaching them that the police are there to help them. If they get lost or in trouble they should find the police or get someone to get the police.

I was walking through our local park a couple of weeks ago and saw 2 police officers and as talking to DS, we noticed them and he said look mummy a police man, I asked him what the police did and he said thy keep me safe if I lose you. The police man heard this and came over and spoke to DS, made a real fuss of him. So my DS will now think of them as a safe person thanks to my dad making one little comment when I was a little girl.

expectingtoomuch Wed 26-Jun-13 15:59:04

My exh told my four year old that because mummy had left him statistics showed she would end up in prison as an adult. She is now scared witless of police and police vehicles to the point at a community fun day she would not get in the front of the vehicle nor go near them.

MrsWolowitz Wed 26-Jun-13 16:04:50

What Wheresmycaffienedrip said.

Great post.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Wed 26-Jun-13 17:56:00

I'd agree too if I didn't know the woman in question

Oblomov Wed 26-Jun-13 18:08:59

oh purlease.
not every child is scared witless.
My dh says tells the buys that they are so naughty that he is going to put them in a box and ship them to china.
They have been to dh's work. They were put in a box full of polysterine balls. They have seen things being shipped to china. They now beg to be sent.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Wed 26-Jun-13 18:12:45

Is he saying it in anger though Oblomov?

Oblomov Wed 26-Jun-13 18:19:57

yes caterpliiar he does. he is very calm, does not raise his voice. But he lets them know that he is most cross.

JazzDalek Wed 26-Jun-13 19:32:51

My dad used to threaten to sell us to the gypsies blush but we never thought he was serious, at least I didn't, would have to ask my siblings to be sure grin

But if the child believes it, yes, it's mean sad

Oblomov Wed 26-Jun-13 20:01:10

I think some of you are really woos'ey.
My boys have total respect for the police. I have told them that they have to wear thier sealtbeits , becuase it is the law. And if, god forbid,a policeman ever saw them , without it, hew would tell them off, very strongly. Because it is wrong. and it is the law.

All of the above is TRUE.

Sam937 Wed 26-Jun-13 20:24:15

Hide some pills in her LF bed and call the cops

Happiestinwellybobs Wed 26-Jun-13 20:30:53

I told DD (2) the other day, that if she kept on taking her shoes off and flinging them everywhere, then the policeman (stood near us) would come and tell her off blush . I was told off by a woman who heard me... And felt so bad. When a policeman came to our house this weekend (was involved in accident; nothing dodgy), I made a concerted effort to make her see that he was not scary.

I sometimes think, especially when we are tired and frustrated that things come out of our mouths without thinking. That being said, I would never say anything about shipping DD off to a childrens home.

Oblomov Wed 26-Jun-13 20:35:15

I think people are over-exagerating the damage that references to childrens home/police/china has.

KittensoftPuppydog Wed 26-Jun-13 20:39:24

No oblomov, they're not.

Oblomov Wed 26-Jun-13 20:40:46

Kitten, I disagree.

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