.. to wonder if we all wee outdoors in the same way

(72 Posts)
5Foot5 Fri 21-Jun-13 15:48:41

Since reading another thread today regarding children weeing out of doors, I have been musing on how one would supply practical instructions to a novice (or very young female) for having an al-fresco wee.

My first stab would go as follows:

1) Pull underwear, tights and/or trousers down as far as they will go.
2) Stand with feet as far apart as possible. (This will not be as far apart as usual because of your pants etc. being around your ankles)
3) Pull the aforementioned garments forward as much as you can.
4) Squat - but try to angle your body slightly forward so lady parts pointing downwards.
5) Commence wee but try to avoid full flow initially so that you have time to observe the trajectory and adjust position if necessary
6) On completion shake from side to side until all drops stop then adjust clothing.

I suppose one should include instructions up front about choosing a suitable location (in much the same way that road crossing instructions always start with choosing a safe place to cross)

Does anyone disagree strongly with the above? It would be interesting to find out if I have been doing it wrong all these years or anyone has any useful additional tips.

Also how would one go about setting up safe environments and opportunities for a young person to practice this skill?

TheEarlOf Fri 21-Jun-13 16:07:19

I feel a bit gross talking about it but I would pull my pants/clothes back not forward, but proceed the same as you otherwise

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 16:10:24

Yup do exactly the same as you 5Foot5.

Rather successful I am at it too. Apart from once it ALL went wrong.

paperclips Fri 21-Jun-13 16:25:25

I'd agree. Pull clothes forwards but somehow angle self so wee goes a bit backwards thus missing clothes.

Beware nettles, brambles, thistles etc.

Gbnewbie Fri 21-Jun-13 16:28:11

Think you've got it right. Def be careful if nettles though. Caught short on the way back from a concert at kenwood I was assaulted by nettles hmm

Amyo83 Fri 21-Jun-13 16:31:03

Helpful step by step and useful too for when visiting countries where squatting loos are the norm. I however find I have to completely remove clothes from one leg - lack of trajectory control!!

ChunkyPickle Fri 21-Jun-13 16:34:25

Only take underwear down a little way - just enough to be able to pull forward - otherwise you risk puddles of wee around foot, try to move, get tangled and fall over..

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 16:48:11

Voice of bitter experience ChunkyPickle...?

Of course the best thing to do is remember to take underwear down at all....

KitCat26 Fri 21-Jun-13 16:51:50

Same as you 5foot, but it is handy to lean back onto a tree occasionally. Or invest in a she wee.

DD1 has almost mastered the squat pee in the back garden, but the she is only 3 so not quite so shy as an older child. And I did have to wash her trainers last time. DD2 is mostly still in nappies.

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 16:52:55

i would do roughly that. Unless unobserved in which case it is possible to do it standing up. You have to aim.

whois Fri 21-Jun-13 16:53:17

Oh no no no!

Pull trousers so the crotch bit is around knees. Squat and get your bum down low and wee under them.

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 16:53:18

<instant posting regret>

DottyDot Fri 21-Jun-13 16:59:14

grin Rooneymara

I recently bought a shewee but haven't tried it out yet. Am hoping it works because I am rubbish at outdoor weeing - cant squat to save my life - just can't balance for long enough!

Fast Fri 21-Jun-13 17:03:31

First, check which way the wind is blowing.

BatwingsAndButterflies Fri 21-Jun-13 17:08:24

Lean as far back against a tree as you can so your trajectory is assured.

5Foot5 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:08:42

I must admit I have considered a she-wee having seen them for sale in Fishers a while back. I am going on a walking holiday this summer so did think of asking for one for my birthday which is before then.

However, one or two things concern me and I wonder whether mn experts might be able to give me the benefit of their experience.

Supposing you use it while you are out - what then? I don't like the idea of carrying a soggy device around all day until I can get somewhere to wash it. Does it come in some sort of hygenic container that is itself easily washed out?

Are they relatively easy to use?

Do you need to practice and if so how and where ? I think I read the advice to practice in the shower but, sorry no. Just no. I know some people thing weeing in the shower is OK but I am not one of them.

5Foot5 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:10:07

By the way I am just not getting the leaning on the tree thing. I can't visualise how that works....

chickensaladagain Fri 21-Jun-13 17:10:59

Not sure I've ever had a wee outside in my entire life

My dds definitely haven't -bladders of steel!

NorbertDentressangle Fri 21-Jun-13 17:15:52

I seriously debated buying a she-wee recently after a particularly long and dark 3am walk to some toilets whilst camping so would be interested in knowing how easy they are to use. In a tent for example would you wee into a bottle with it?

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 17:17:03

chickensaladagain -NEVER? NEVER ever?? I bow down to your iron-clad bladder!

TimeofChange Fri 21-Jun-13 17:18:54

Chicken: Goodness. You must live in a big city.

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 17:22:55

I may invest in a SHEWEE!

I once had a very bad situation wee-wise. I wonder if a shewee would have helped!

digerd Fri 21-Jun-13 17:22:57

There were 5 of us all in our late 20s early 30s on a coach trip about mid morning. No public loos as in the countryside, so stopped to hide behind a hedge < facing the hedge and there was a large open field behind which our behinds were in full view ofgrin>

I laughed as looked along the line at out bums sticking out backwards and all of us were at the same height crouching and the bums were in a perfect line of increasing sizes < mine being the smallest at one end>.

No accidents, but can't remember exactly the details of how we did it, as I was worrying about some farmer walking with his dog, but nobody appearedgrin

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 21-Jun-13 17:25:01

Pretty spot on, OP. I hate peeing outdoors though so have on occasion added a 'head in hands in despair/embarrassment' pose grin

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 17:25:49

Top Tip - do not leave until the last minute to find somewhere suitable....

ladyClaire - oh you HAVE to adopt that pose. Its the law

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