to think that dog owners shouldnt assume that everyone else is a dog lover?

(276 Posts)

when I bump into you in the park I don't want to have a soggy nose repeatedly pushed into my crotch.
when I come to your house for a cuppa I would prefer it if your doggy didn't keep trying to hump my leg.
and when im 17 weeks preggers I don't want a bloody great german shepherd jumping up at me pawing at me with his claws as if hes trying to bury a bone in me!
don't get me wrong,i like dogs and I think anyone who mistreats or neglects them should be hung,drawn and quartered but aibu to think that when this sort of behaviour is displayed said fluffball should be pulled of instead of doting owner giggling and rolling eyes at me in an isn't he adorable kind of fashion?

Bunbaker Fri 21-Jun-13 08:37:22

Yes, I have Aetae, very politely. A few years ago a barbecue at my sister's house was completely ruined because the dogs (they had two at the time) were making a complete nuisance of themselves. Although I was very irritated I kept my temper and asked politely if the dogs could be shut in the house just while we were eating. The answer was no, they were part of the family. I didn't enjoy the meal and neither did DD or OH.

KittensoftPuppydog Fri 21-Jun-13 08:38:53

Holly, don't get a dog please. They need to be off the lead for a while every day.

ExcuseTypos Fri 21-Jun-13 08:43:01

YANBU and I say that as the owner of a very pampered, loved dog.

If anyone new comes to our house I always ask if they mind dogs and if they are afraid of them, I'll put her somewhere else-garden, sitting room etc.

When friends come with toddlers, the dog is allowed to say hello then the dog goes in another room, so the toddler can play and explore without hindrance form the dog.

People come before dogs IMO.

Bunbaker Fri 21-Jun-13 08:45:10

"People come before dogs IMO."

I agree. I think people should come before all pets.

I don't hate dogs BTW. I grew up with them and like them, but I would never put an animal before a person.

pictish Fri 21-Jun-13 08:46:08

Well of course they do. Anyone who thinks otherwise has some social problems imo.
And I say that as someone who did an Animal Husbandry HNC as a youngster and went on to work in a large animal shelter.

Marlinspike Fri 21-Jun-13 08:54:04

I have cats and will always shut them outside or in another room if we have visitors who are allergic, or just not cat fans. This is being polite and considerate. I would expect any dog owners to do the same with their pets given the same circumstances.

When he was younger my DS was truly terrified of dogs. The reason? He was round a friends house when he was about 6 when their rhodesian ridgeback bit him. The reason? For a short moment his friend had gone upstairs, and the Mum was in the garden so poor DS was alone with the dog, on the dog's territoiry - so the dog decided to assert his authority. DS was lucky to come away with "just" a bite on his hip, which drew blood.

The dog was quite clearly not to be trusted around children, and how on earth could DS have known that? That was one irresponsible dog owner to have left DS in such a vulnerable position.

So my point is - if you take Kittens view, of "love me, love my dog", and you have a dog with such territorial tendencies, either don't have visitors, or stay with the dog at all times! That attitude comes with responsibilities.

Roshbegosh Fri 21-Jun-13 08:57:18

Kitten I'm not odd but why you want your house to smell of dog and even let something that licks its arse and bollocks go right ahead and lick you on the face baffles me. Dog lovers do generally do this. Dogs fart and drool and stink and scratch. Some moult all over the place and chew your shoes. The barking is so irritating for people who want a bit of peace and as for the leg humping, dog fights and fleas occasionally ....Oh yes, I must be odd not let a four legged bag of shit sleep on top of my bed.

Having said all of that it is the dog owners that I think need training.

bettycocker Fri 21-Jun-13 09:01:36

forgetmenots I have a genuine phobia of dogs too. It can be quite awkward and I've had to ask dog owners to get their dogs away from me.

It's the people who seem to think that not liking dogs is a personal failing that irk me. People can be phobic of all kinds of animals.

Saying that, I have a couple of friends with very well behaved, docile, placid dogs that are very nice. I actually like dogs like these once I get to know them.

Aetae Fri 21-Jun-13 09:02:26

Oh dear Rosh. No need for such stereotyping! I could equally say "all dog haters are narrow minded selfish twats who don't have the imagination to get over their bad childhood dog experiences". But that's clearly not true so I don't say it. So push off if you don't have something considered to say.

Kooza Fri 21-Jun-13 09:03:54

I think it's a bit of a minefield to be honest. We got a puppy recently and when I walk her there is a mixed bag of a) people who give us a hugely wide berth and clearly don't want him anywhere near them and b) other people who cross the road specifically to say hello or who are obviously making a beeline as soon as they see him.

It's hard for him to learn any kind of consistent behaviour and I'm very careful not to let him approach anyone because I don't know whether they would be comfortable with that. Consequently there are some people who obviously wanted a quick cuddle who look at me like I'm some kind of meanie because I've got him on such a short lead when we are walking through busy areas. He LOVES people so would willingly stop and say hello to every single person we pass!

At home he isn't shut away but I watch his behaviour very carefully if we have visitors to make sure he isn't being annoying or making any unwelcome overtures.

Leg humping is a complete no-no as far as I'm concerned. Or at least buy me a drink first.....grin

KittensoftPuppydog Fri 21-Jun-13 09:06:22

Ha ha, tosh. Have a think about how some human beings behave, do.
Well, it's down to personal preference really. People who dislike dogs are well lost to me. I'd prefer her company.
Luckily it doesn't often arise as the kind of work I do tends to bring me into contact with animal lovers.
And dogs are people too btw.

Roshbegosh Fri 21-Jun-13 09:12:28

Aetna, it is considered.
No childhood bad experiences regarding dogs.
Selfish am I? Because I don't want to share my home with a dog. Nutter.

Goldmandra Fri 21-Jun-13 09:15:44

We have the opposite problem in that our 18 month old terrier/collie cross thinks that everyone absolutely adores her. She is desperate to get to any visitor who arrives and jumps up at them to greet them.

We are trying to teach her how to behave more appropriately but some people seem to want to show us how good they are with dogs and insist on responding to her in their own way. This can be to allow her to jump up and give her lots of fuss in an excited tone, thus praising her for unacceptable behaviour, or telling her off and trying to control her using words she doesn't even know. These are friends of DH's who come round often.

I ask them to help by following the method we have been advised to use but if they ignore me I find it hard to be too abrupt as they are guests. As a result of these mixed messages she is taking longer to get the message which isn't helpful for us or her.

Aetae Fri 21-Jun-13 09:17:05

Rosh concentrate. I'm saying I don't say all dog haters are like that. Just as all dogs don't jump up, hump and lick people. And all dog owners aren't inconsiderate. You're being incendiary by making generic stereotypical statements and it's unhelpful.

BaldHedgehog Fri 21-Jun-13 09:22:23

YANBU

I'm living in the small village,the amount of dog shit on the pavement is shocking.Free dog poo bags available from the shop and still big pile of shit just at the front od dog waste bin.What a pleasure not it is to tread into dog shit with a buggy and then into the carpet.
Those picking up dog shit leave the bag with contents on our hedge.

While on the camping holidays twice I was woken up by the dog-first one was rummaging through our stuff inside the tent,second one was pissing on the tent.In both cases owner nowhere to be seen.

Pushing the buggy I was jumped on the back by labrador,when I started shouting towards the owner to take her dog away she shouted back "he's never seen a buggy before".I don't give a fuck you stupid cow what your dog has seen or not.

To those of you saying that I've got a choice whether to visit or not house with a dog.I dropped one of my friends because of that-I chose not to visit,I don't want to be humped by your darling GSD when holding 6mo DS or be constantly nudged,licked and clawed by your friendly dog.

And I'm saying that as a dog owner.

maninawomansworld Fri 21-Jun-13 09:22:53

When in public yes, you are totally right dogs should be under control and not allowed to bother strangers.
If you come to my house though, it is my dogs home as well as mine and any visitor needs to respect that - or not come. I don't mean having to put up with a dog jumping all over them (mine don't because they're well trained), but I'm not booting them out just because some visitor isn't too keen on dogs either.

LtEveDallas Fri 21-Jun-13 09:23:44

The reason? For a short moment his friend had gone upstairs, and the Mum was in the garden so poor DS was alone with the dog, on the dog's territoiry - so the dog decided to assert his authority

Impossible for you to know the reason if you were not there.

Dogs do NOT suddenly 'decide to assert their authority'. Dogs are dogs, they are not humans, they don't have human traits. Pack theory was disproved long ago.

I'm very sorry that your DS was bitten and that it has made him scared of dogs. The 'blame' certainly lies at the feet of the owner. Whilst I do not shut my dog away when we have visitors (it's her home, not theirs, they don't have to visit but she has to live there), I also do not let her be anywhere without me. Luckily my dog is extremely well trained and I can keep her away from others with just a look or click of my fingers!

Roshbegosh Fri 21-Jun-13 09:34:04

Yes hedgehog, what is the logic of putting the shit in a plastic bag and then chucking that on the path? I have seen that all over the place. It is worse than leaving the shit there. Fuckwits.

I typed out a long post, only to lose it as I've just had a short power cut!

Okay, dogs should be trained not to pester people, but IMO people who don't like dogs are just plain wrong, and overreact a lot too.

Try seeing things from the other point of view, why don't you.

I don't like dogs because I was attacked as a child. I have, over the years managed to get to a point of being able to be near dogs, but struggle still to touch them, and certainly never trust them. The dog that attacked me gave no warning signals whatever, even the owner was taken by surprise and I was nowhere near the dog in the first place. I only got bruising as I was wearing thick clothes, but it was still a frightening experience.

My brother was attacked by a dog as a child too. In his case, he got several deep bites from a jack russell. The owner didn't even bother to stop and help my brother, just said "you'll be fine" and walked off. Dbro was simply playing in the park, and was not near the dog, so no excuse of provoking the dog here.

Dbro only got help cos his friend who wasn't attacked came and got my mum. This was about 30-35 years ago.

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 21-Jun-13 09:42:48

I ask people if they're okay with dogs and if they're not they're given the option to leave. It's my house, my rules. My dogs live here, my guests do not.

It's not always logistically possible for me to separate my dogs anyway. I have a small, two up two down house and up to four dogs at any one time (normally three but on odd occasions I have in a short term emergency foster or one or two of my parent's dogs if they're away, the flying whippet is coming to stay for a week soon and I already have a foster grey in, which will put us upto four) Sometimes these dogs cannot be left unsupervised alone, which means one or two of them would have to be in the room I was in.

If I'm having parties then one of them normally needs locking away from food. Another needs to be where I can see him because he has a tendency to bite first and ask questions later if he feels threatened. He's safe with us and my immediate family, we know what his triggers are and not to do them, other guests might not, so he stays with me, where I can see him at all times. I won't keep them outside for hours. There is no proper shelter out there, so it would not be fair and as my house is only small if I were to lock him in the back room people would still need to go out there to get food, use the loo or get drinks.

They're as trained as I need or want them to be, unless they're new to us and I still have issues to work with. If guests are not happy with that, they're quite free to leave. I like my dogs more than I like most people anyway.

KittensoftPuppydog Fri 21-Jun-13 09:45:50

Fry, I'm sorry that you and your brother had those experiences and that you have become phobic, however the human animal is a lot more dangerous than dogs, and it is certainly not my lovely dog's fault that you feel like that.
It is actually your responsibility to deal with your phobia, if you wish to. There are various programs available.
I would not shut my dog in another room for a visitor. She would be upset and think she had done something wrong.

thebody Fri 21-Jun-13 09:47:03

It's just good manners really nothing to do with animals.

I wouldn't let anyone feel uncomfortable in my house as they are a guest. So I wouldn't serve a vegetarian meat or allow my cats to jump in the lap of someone allergic to them.

Just manners.

KittensoftPuppydog Fri 21-Jun-13 09:49:08

Yes, manners. I would not go to someone's house and expect another member of the family to be shut away for the duration of my visit.

mrsjay Fri 21-Jun-13 09:52:47

If you're in the dog's own home, tough IMO.

I wouldnt let my dog jump about people in his house,

yanbu Op

Kittens, I'm not asking you to change your behaviour or your dogs behaviour in your own home. I'm just saying that not everyone likes dogs.

Yes, in my case, I have had experiences that way, but I'm not bothered about getting treatment as I just avoid dogs where I can. t's now, these days, not a big deal. And my DCs like dogs and are happy around them, so I've managed to get somewhere on my own.

But I do know people who simply don't like dogs. No bad experiences, just don't like them. And yet they get treated as if there's something wrong with them, when it's just a matter of preference. People who like reptiles accept that others don't like reptiles, so why can't those who like dogs accept that other people may not like any dogs?

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