To have politely informed this woman that I will not pay to attend her wedding

(203 Posts)
AmadeusRocks Tue 18-Jun-13 19:14:18

Received an invitation to a former colleagues wedding about 8 months ago (wedding im november this year) and was a bit shocked that they had listed out the menu inside with the price (£35 per head) underneath. Accepted the invitation thinking they were just being showy bastards and bragging about how expensive the food will be, DH thought the same, however this woman was once a good friend of mine so we accepted. I was a bit hmm about the mark Jacobs perfume on the gift list as well.

I have just received a message on Facebook as follows:

Twatwoman: hi Amadeus, sorry to bother you so soon after the birth of your new baby but was just wondering if you could possibly transfer the £70 for yours and H's meal at the wedding to me soon, the caterers are getting on our backs! Account details: XXXXXXX

Me: hi twatwoman, me and ds are fine thanks for asking, I'm a bit confused, are we paying for our own meals at our wedding?

Twatwoman: haha yes, it's a bit modern isn't it, but I suppose it's only the same as going to a restaurant but with all your friends

Me: hmmm I'm not sure it is the same really, I mean at least when I go to a restaurant I don't have to make an 80 mile round trip, sit through hours of watching you pose like a duck beside a tree, listen to your drip of a husband moan about how wonderful you are and I get to select my own food. I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best.

She has not responded.

Aibu?

DeskPlanner Wed 19-Jun-13 19:39:51

I want to read the other thread. I can't seem to find it.

Neighbourhoodwatchbitch Wed 19-Jun-13 19:08:55

I want the OP to come and report back if the friend has replied yet!!

stamps foot

Euphemia Wed 19-Jun-13 17:47:20

I was a wee bit horrified by the 'pose like a dick'

That would be duck. grin

WorraLiberty Wed 19-Jun-13 15:27:06

That's the funniest pile of shit I've read in ages! grin grin

samandi Wed 19-Jun-13 15:17:22

Thanks margaery and shewhowines.

In that case, OP is not being unreasonable.

nogreythatmatters Wed 19-Jun-13 14:51:44

Your response was good.
Anyone who charges guests attending their wedding deserves contempt and derision.

MrsPHollywood Wed 19-Jun-13 14:01:20

Pose like a duck. blush Suppose it means basically the same. wink

MrsPHollywood Wed 19-Jun-13 13:59:45

I was a wee bit horrified by the 'pose like a dick' and 'drip of a husband' but if you only put the last 2 sentences in the reply then you bloody rock, OP. grin

changeforthebetter Wed 19-Jun-13 13:57:56

I think your reply (if you sent it) was blunt but very funny. I think the bridal couple are taking the proverbial grin

TheRealFellatio Wed 19-Jun-13 13:13:28

PMSL at Crowler and her journal. grin

Crowler Wed 19-Jun-13 13:11:40

That is the absolute cheekiest bridal stunt I have ever come across.

I'm going to record it in my journal now.

morticia74 Wed 19-Jun-13 13:08:24

No, not rude. She is.

OrmirianResurgam Wed 19-Jun-13 13:01:37

"I mean at least when I go to a restaurant I don't have to make an 80 mile round trip, sit through hours of watching you pose like a duck beside a tree, listen to your drip of a husband moan about how wonderful you are and I get to select my own food"

Ooh naughty! grin

But no, if you can't afford to treat your guests as guests, go somewhere cheaper.

Lavenderloves Wed 19-Jun-13 13:01:00

Jesus and she asked for gifts!

I will bet they have a bucket for contributions to her dress!

shewhowines Wed 19-Jun-13 12:54:50

Just the last two sentences

"I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best."

PointlessPost Wed 19-Jun-13 12:53:03

OP

Please tell me exactly what you wrote not the bits you imagined

I am curious.

shewhowines Wed 19-Jun-13 12:48:14

Presumably its expensive and odd to be on a wdding list. people don't usually put personal items on them, do they?

PatPig Wed 19-Jun-13 12:46:29

Charging for the meal is very gauche, but what's wrong with Marc Jacobs perfume?

confused

shewhowines Wed 19-Jun-13 12:43:31

I think it's been a funny thread. Thanks op.

I would have wanted to write the same, but like you, am too much of a wimp to actually send it.

ouryve Wed 19-Jun-13 12:38:54

You weren't being unreasonable for not wanting to go to a wedding you have to pay for.

You were for being so rude about it, though.

The ultimate invitation my ex and I declined was one where a couple were having their wedding at a castle - there was a formal dresscode for day and evening AND we would have had to book a room at the castle. It would have cost us hundreds of pounds - ex was in a postgrad trainee position at £9K and I was a student. We politely declined, explained that we couldn't afford it when asked and at no point told them that they were a bit full of themselves, no matter how much we were thinking it.

GiveMumABreak Wed 19-Jun-13 12:32:02

I think the last two setences say enough really (the rest of OP's thoughts can be left to the imagination) YANBU by the way. How very cheeky of them!

YANBU.

But, YABU posting this in AIBU, you ought to know the catsbums will come out!

SoupDragon Wed 19-Jun-13 12:23:20

And I think this thread proves nicely why you shouldn't make jokes in an OP without making it quite clear it was a joke smile Even when it was clear people thought she'd actually said that, the OP didn't say.

shewhowines Wed 19-Jun-13 12:08:45

AmadeusRocks Tue 18-Jun-13 19:31:13
I genuinely did write it the last two sentences anyway

Was the actual post

margaery Wed 19-Jun-13 11:36:31

samandi, OP's real reply was " I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best."

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