To have politely informed this woman that I will not pay to attend her wedding

(203 Posts)
AmadeusRocks Tue 18-Jun-13 19:14:18

Received an invitation to a former colleagues wedding about 8 months ago (wedding im november this year) and was a bit shocked that they had listed out the menu inside with the price (£35 per head) underneath. Accepted the invitation thinking they were just being showy bastards and bragging about how expensive the food will be, DH thought the same, however this woman was once a good friend of mine so we accepted. I was a bit hmm about the mark Jacobs perfume on the gift list as well.

I have just received a message on Facebook as follows:

Twatwoman: hi Amadeus, sorry to bother you so soon after the birth of your new baby but was just wondering if you could possibly transfer the £70 for yours and H's meal at the wedding to me soon, the caterers are getting on our backs! Account details: XXXXXXX

Me: hi twatwoman, me and ds are fine thanks for asking, I'm a bit confused, are we paying for our own meals at our wedding?

Twatwoman: haha yes, it's a bit modern isn't it, but I suppose it's only the same as going to a restaurant but with all your friends

Me: hmmm I'm not sure it is the same really, I mean at least when I go to a restaurant I don't have to make an 80 mile round trip, sit through hours of watching you pose like a duck beside a tree, listen to your drip of a husband moan about how wonderful you are and I get to select my own food. I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best.

She has not responded.

Aibu?

ParadiseChick Tue 18-Jun-13 19:15:41

You didn't write that did you?

scubastevie Tue 18-Jun-13 19:16:08

How bizarre! YANBU

oinkment Tue 18-Jun-13 19:16:44

Did any of that really happen OP?

NarkyNamechanger Tue 18-Jun-13 19:16:53

Did you really say that?

Dawndonna Tue 18-Jun-13 19:16:54

I like your style! grin

Doinmummy Tue 18-Jun-13 19:16:58

Blimey you're brave!

fedupofnamechanging Tue 18-Jun-13 19:17:16

Not unreasonable, but a bit blunt perhaps. Still, she is proper cheeky asking for this in the first place, so fair enough!

NatashaBee Tue 18-Jun-13 19:17:23

I would have cottoned on when the price was displayed on the menu -why else would it be there? Very cheeky though. Did you even get a choice of food?

BrianTheMole Tue 18-Jun-13 19:17:35

Well if its true, then she is unreasonable for not making it clear, and yabu for being so rude. Although it sounds like bollocks anyway.

bigkidsdidit Tue 18-Jun-13 19:17:38

You didnt really write that??

Was it not obvious from the invitation she was telling you you would need to pay?

Coconutty Tue 18-Jun-13 19:18:10

Did you mean to sound like such a bitch?

deepfriedsage Tue 18-Jun-13 19:18:18

Defiantly odd way of going about things, modern eh!

usualsuspect Tue 18-Jun-13 19:18:24

You really wrote that?

I'd say that was the end of that friendship then

OrangeLily Tue 18-Jun-13 19:18:35

If you actually wrote that it do realise that she has exploded in an absolute bridezilla rage!

Cherriesarelovely Tue 18-Jun-13 19:18:42

Very weird but clearly not someone you like much anyway judging by your final email!! Would be interested to see how many other "guests" declined on this basis, quite a few I should think!

ChaoticTranquility Tue 18-Jun-13 19:18:46

grin I would have loved to have seen her face if you did send that.

YANBU Nobody should have to pay for their meal if attending a wedding.

Branleuse Tue 18-Jun-13 19:18:50

You were both being unreasonable

HollyBerryBush Tue 18-Jun-13 19:18:58

however this woman was once a good friend of mine so we accepted

Well, one things for sure, you won't have to bother finding 60p to post a Christmas card

Feelslikea1sttimer Tue 18-Jun-13 19:19:08

Please tell me that is what you wrote...

That is a fab email!

And no YANBU, can't believe anybody would expect you to pay for your own meals!

HotCrossPun Tue 18-Jun-13 19:19:17

Suuuuure you did hmm

Fraggle3112 Tue 18-Jun-13 19:19:18

If you actually wrote that response YABVU and V rude.
YANU to politely decline, it's a stupid concept and if it wasn't clearly stated on the invites I bet a lot of guests will pull out last min!

bigkidsdidit Tue 18-Jun-13 19:19:23

No matter the etiquette of paying at weddings, you were really unbelievably rude

SoftlySoftly Tue 18-Jun-13 19:19:30

I really hope you didn't write that.

msrisotto Tue 18-Jun-13 19:19:37

There was absolutely no need for you to be so awful! What a bitch! Thought you said she was a friend?

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