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DH threatening to leave me if I get my hair cut

(99 Posts)
Bilpbip Tue 18-Jun-13 09:22:47

Okay I'm pretty sure I'm not being unreasonable about this.

DH loves my hair long, very long, it is thick and wavy and in great condition. The problem is that I hate it. I have an active, physical job so I spend most days with my heavy hair in a pony tail to keep it out of my face. It takes three days to dry after a wash and I never have the time nor the inclination to style it.

So last year I got it cut into a shortish bob style. OMG, I love my hair like this grin its light and easy and I never have to tie it up. DH said on the very first day that he hated it angry

This morning I mentioned in passing that I intend to go to the hairdresser later and he said thats fine but if I cut it any shorter he will leave! I'm pretty sure he is not serious but I'm still really angry with him.

Honestly my hair looks great in this style! I'm going to get it cut anyway and I'm tempted to test him and get it scalped grin

Bilpbip Wed 19-Jun-13 14:38:39

Gee thanks Chipping Its actually a bit wilder than that picture as I never brush it and it is quite wavy.

The problem with my DH is it is very hard to tell when he is joking, he I have been married to him for 5 years and still find him hard to read, he is dead pan.

He has many faults but I'm a long way from leaving the bastard, contrary fecker that he is.

MortifiedAdams Wed 19-Jun-13 09:19:42

My hair is long and thick but if DH threatened to leave me.over a haircut I would purposefullly make it a buzz cit and stand at the door with his bags. Controlling arse.

Suggest to him that you will have your hair the same length as his so if he wants ypurs long he has to grow his long too.

Unfortunatelyanxious Wed 19-Jun-13 09:14:21

Three days to dry, goodness op are you Rapunzel?

It's your hair do what you want, I don't especially want short hair but if that was my DH it would make me want to have it cut

< I'm an obstreperous wife emoticon>

grumpyinthemorning Wed 19-Jun-13 09:08:20

A bob is so much easier, isn't it? I have very fine hair, but there's so damn much of it! A bob is the only way it's manageable.

Cut it how you want. And if he leaves, be happy for the lucky escape!

StuntGirl Wed 19-Jun-13 09:07:31

Why all the hate for green mohicans? If you subscribe to the 'your hair, your choice' school of thought then it goes both ways and that means each individual gets to choose their own hairstyle. Mohicans included. Anything else is being as equally judgemental and twatty as the OP's husband.

ToysRLuv Wed 19-Jun-13 08:29:08

Scarlet: I think I can pull off a shaved look well (had lots of compliments). If only I could shift a stone and a half..

RhondaJean Wed 19-Jun-13 08:14:06

Wasn't there some research once about how men are most likely to cheat with women who have longer hair than their partner or did I imagine that?

I'm an adult and have a MASSIVE undercut/sidecut - wasn't in Mel and Kim last time I checked grin

I don't think DH would dare say that to me...I change my hair pretty much monthly and quite drastically as well.

I'm sure he didn't mean it, seeing as he likes the new hair-cut. My hair is important to me and if someone tried to control that he'd be out the door. DH is allowed to not like my hair, although he's never been anything other than encouraging (to my face anyway).

ToysRLuv - I think a full shaved head can look stunning on certain women but I do think you need to have quite feminine or striking features to really pull it off. I've thought about doing it in the past, but I'm too scared! I do have more of my head shaved than not now though.

kerstina Wed 19-Jun-13 07:44:11

I like it Bilppip smile It is actually very flattering as its quite soft and long around the face. Looks more feminine than a lot of longer styles.
I love long hair but my hair is very fine and not a lot of it so if there is a bit of wind it looks a right mess so I wear it in a ponytail most of the time. Would love long thick shiny hair and would never get it cut if I had that. My hair is easy to style though just wash and leave it suppose because it is so fine.

MrRected Wed 19-Jun-13 02:02:39

My DH said I was to do whatever made me happy when I had my long hair cut off.

I did it and HATE it. I truly do. I had it cut off over a year ago and it's grown less then an inch.

I wish he'd said something to discourage me.

OP - I am sure you DP couldn't have been serious. If he was, he's being a controlling twit.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Wed 19-Jun-13 01:53:24

Really Bilpbip? I'm sure it must look nicer than that then! To me she looks like she's been up all night with kids that don't sleep and needs to go to the hair dressers!?!

WafflyVersatile Wed 19-Jun-13 01:25:19

buy a hairstyle magazine, turn down the corners at some of the really short cuts and leave it lying around. If he asks you about it tell him you've decided on one of those. Then your actual cut will seem like a compromise! wink

ouryve Wed 19-Jun-13 00:01:00

Bloody hell. If he's that big an arse, wave him goodbye on his way out of the door. If he wants a doll to play with, there's plenty of good toy shops around.

Kiwiinkits Tue 18-Jun-13 23:58:36

I'm glad it worked out for you Blip

MrsRickyMartin Tue 18-Jun-13 23:13:12

He was joking, my DH says if I wear a wig he will divorce me. I love curly hair and I have straight hair and won't perm it, so I said a wig might be an option curly hair doesn't look good on me to have a different look.

I see some people said LTB already grin

ToysRLuv Tue 18-Jun-13 21:16:49

I have shortish hair (bob with an undercut, and I'm nearly 33!).

Have had my whole head shaved before, and would do it again in a flash, but my figure isn't quite what it used to be, and I reckon a 6 mm hair cut requires a lithe physique to carry it off (to still be feminine rather than butch).

DH prefers long hair. Duh. Most men do, as it's a symbol of youth, fertility and girly, not-a-care-in-the-world, sexiness. However, as it is MY hair, I will do what I want with it. After all, is DH going to wash, dry and style my hair for me? Does he (having had very short hair for most of his life and now balding) KNOW how much work that is? Does he know how annoying long hair can be, how it gets in the way? No. Well, then he can't ask me to have long hair. And, anyway, I had short hair when we met (I have had both long and short hair since)!

internationallove985 Tue 18-Jun-13 20:40:32

I hate to say this to you, but he must be very very shallow. It would be a cold day in hell before a man would tell me what to do and not do with my hair. xxx

Bilpbip Tue 18-Jun-13 20:36:23

Well I got it cut like this but a fraction shorter, and...DH loves itgrin!! bloody unpredictable man that he is

UserError Tue 18-Jun-13 18:01:34

I'm a hypocrite. I'd never stand for being told how to wear my hair (and DH has seen me with dreads, long hair, a bob, a pixie crop, bald, etc) but I would hate it if he shaved his beard. He's handsome with a beard! Without it, he has no chin and looks like a twelve year old. I can't fancy him at all without a beard.

Osmiornica Tue 18-Jun-13 16:45:45

If he likes long hair that much tell him to grow his own.

I'd love to have short hair but being overweight I figure it'll just make me look round. I have very thin hair and is impossible to style as there just isn't enough of it - it does dry in seconds though.

MrsDeVere Tue 18-Jun-13 16:34:41

YANBU.
Cut your hair.

Yes we all have certain looks we prefer on our partners but we are not in charge of their bodies.

It is a hair cut not gender reassignment.

Cut your damn hair you are a grown up.

kerstina Tue 18-Jun-13 16:23:13

I don't think you are being unreasonable but can understand how your DH feels. I absolutely hate my DP's hair if he shaves it all off. It just does not suit him at all. He is much more attractive if he lets it grow a bit. I have told him this very vocally!! Am I controlling? Possibly. It is a fact though we also prefer our partners to look how we did when we first met ,with the same style etc. This goes for beards too.

PipkinsPal Tue 18-Jun-13 16:15:52

YANBU. It's your hair. If he wants long hair then tell him to grow his own.

amicissimma Tue 18-Jun-13 16:13:06

Obviously he's BU to threaten to leave you if you cut your hair.

OTOH, you know he really likes your hair long and you had it cut anyway. You're entitled to do what you want with your hair but it doesn't look as if you care much about his feelings.

I hate it if my DH grows a beard. He's entitled to, but I would feel very hurt if he went ahead and grew one, knowing how much I hate it.

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Tue 18-Jun-13 16:12:52

That would really piss me off.

The polite response when your partner does something to their hair/clothes/appearance you don't like is to say so once, then leave it. Badgering on about it is controlling and wankerish.

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