Creepy trespassing magical fucking fairies

(62 Posts)
Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 16-Jun-13 07:02:57

Our property has no front fences between it and the neighbours on each side. Consequently we are all able to enter one another's property, chat between them, etc. Both neighbours, to our left and right, are single women with grown children. I have a very cordial relationship with one, and we will stop and chat if we are both in our front gardens. I find the other one more difficult, just because I think she's nosy and a gossip, but there is no enmity, I just tend to keep a distance. None of us actually ever come into each others garden, although it is possible to do so its not our norm.

DD1 is four, and will happily talk the ear off either of them.

Yesterday DD1 went into her little playhouse, which sits on our front deck, and came back excited that fairies had left her a present. A fairy book, and a sparkly little purse. So she took them with her - we were on our way out - and we talked about leaving the fairies a thank you note. She got home late and tired, so we tabled it to today.

This morning she gets up, checks the cubbyhouse, there's a fairy figurine. We go out again. On our return two hours later there's another little purse, filled with beads and kids jewelry.

I don't like this at all. I think its nosy neighbour, and I think its way out of line to be coming onto my property, setting up expectations in my kid without checking with me or DH,and she is obviously monitoring our movements since she knew we were out this morning (we do have to drive past her window, to be fair). DH thinks its sweet, I want it to stop.

HollyBerryBush Sun 16-Jun-13 07:07:46

I think it's sweet too.

Some people just like to do kind things, make a child smile, encourage their imaginative side.

A thank you card is a lovely idea too.

Let her be a child and indulge in fairies and other stuff. Plenty of time ahead of her to grow up far too quickly.

dontmeanto Sun 16-Jun-13 07:08:38

I would've loved it as a kid!

ClaireDeTamble Sun 16-Jun-13 07:11:31

Oh, that's lovely. Would you object so much if you thought it was the neighbour you get on with?

Agree the thank you card is a great idea. Let your daughter enjoy the magic.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 16-Jun-13 07:20:39

I would find it intrusive either way, I think. Once was sweet, three times in two days feels too much. Honestly, I'm just a curmudgeon?

No problem letting her believe in fairies, Holly, not sure how you got to there.

saintmerryweather Sun 16-Jun-13 07:24:04

i think i would find it a bit much to do it that often too. its you who will have yo deal with your dds disappointment when the neighbour is bored and theres nothing out there after being showered with gifts

frikonastick Sun 16-Jun-13 07:33:04

It's weird. Not lovely. If it was someone who had a close relationship with you and DD it would be different. If she had asked you first, it would be different. And not asking first implies she knew you would say no, but wants to anyway. Which is shitty behaviour. I would be annoyed too.

OrangeFireandGoldashes Sun 16-Jun-13 07:35:18

While I think leaving an occasional gift "from the fairies" is a sweet and generous idea, I think doing it three times in two days is 1) a little bit full-on, especially if it's happening every time you go out because it has undertones of creepy stalker-ish "I've been waaaaaatching you" and 2) to suddenly start doing it so that your daughter now finds something every time she goes to that part of the garden means the first time the neighbour can't or doesn't leave a present, your daughter is going to be disappointed and think that the fairies don't love her anymore or similar - and you're the one left to deal with that disappointment.

So nice idea in theory but not thought through by the neighbour. I'd be tempted to get your daughter to write the thank you letter, then in a day or two's time, have a chat with the neighbour - in a friendly way, not an ungrateful "stop leaving my daughter presents you freak" way, but tactfully asking them to ease up on the frequency a bit.

HaPPy8 Sun 16-Jun-13 07:43:40

Oh I think its lovely! If it went on for days and days I could understand your point but a few times in 2 days I wouldn't worry about. I would have LOVED it as a child.

averywoomummy Sun 16-Jun-13 07:49:07

I think it's quite a sweet idea. You say the neighbour has grown up kids so maybe she thought it was a nice way to pass on some of her childrens old toys to your daughter.

Agree though that once or twice would probably be enough. Maybe you could go round and see the neighbour and thank her for the gifts and just say something along the lines of you are really grateful but don't want DD to end up with too much stuff so ask her if she could limit the ammount of times she puts stuff in or ask that she checks with you first?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 16-Jun-13 08:09:11

I don't know if this makes a difference, I may well be more territorial than most people, but this isn't a cubbyhouse at the end of a large meadow, or rambling grounds, or anything. Its a metre from my front door, on a small deck.

ZillionChocolate Sun 16-Jun-13 08:11:21

Slightly ill judged, but well intentioned I would have thought. It's harmless and your daughter is happy, just accept it!

Hissy Sun 16-Jun-13 08:16:31

I would personally go and find out who did it's, and thank them warmly but say that it really was too much and that you didn't want the presents to become expected. One in a blu moon is fine, but like this? Too much, too soon.

JoyMachine Sun 16-Jun-13 08:20:52

Maybe 'gossip neighbour' only gossips because she's so lonely? sad
Whoever has done it was trying to do a kind thing I think- I mean what an amazing surprise for your daughter!

HerrenaHarridan Sun 16-Jun-13 08:21:47

I think it's a a lovely idea but no way should she have done that without checking with you first.

Would you have said no? Unlikely IMO

There are a whole list of reasons why she should have checked first both mundane and more serious

McNewPants2013 Sun 16-Jun-13 08:26:59

I do think it is a lovely thing to do, but what happens when the fairies no longer visit.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 16-Jun-13 08:30:37

JoyMachine, her kids visit regularly, she's not old and frail or anything, she has a job and friends.

I agree its well intentioned. But I feel invaded.

amigababy Sun 16-Jun-13 08:34:59

can an appropriate message be left. in the cubbyhouse for the "fairies " next visit?

jendot Sun 16-Jun-13 09:05:05

What a totally lovely idea smile what a funny world we live in where someone would be upset by someone doing something so sweet. You already said your dc talks to the neighbour happily so she probably feels she 'knows' them. If here kids are 'grown up' not only does she prob miss having little ones around but she is presumably of the generation above us where the 'street' parented the child. It was very common in my childhood for kids and parents to be in and out of each others houses, feeding each others kids etc. Neighbour probably should have popped round and checked with you about coming into your part of the garden..but really? I would find this lovely, kind and funny and would be delighted that someone was taking an interest in my dc

quoteunquote Sun 16-Jun-13 09:23:12

oh that is so magical and kind, what a lovely thing to do,

Invite both neighbour round for a cup of tea and cake, so they can hear from DD, about the fairies, share the joy.

But I feel invaded

Try to enjoy this invasion, as it is wonderful, if you make a few efforts back then it won't feel so difficult.

MadeOfStarDust Sun 16-Jun-13 09:37:52

love the fact everyone presumes it is a woman doing it - maybe wouldn't see it as quite so sweet if it was a bloke who is starting his "grooming" by leaving presents for little kids........... creepy......

dopeysheep Sun 16-Jun-13 09:43:49

Have you considered that it might be actual fairies?

Moxiegirl Sun 16-Jun-13 09:45:40

Sounds fucking creepy to me! shock

ChaosCatt Sun 16-Jun-13 09:47:15

I think it's sweet Made, don't see paedos everywhere! Grooming is normally done when they know who it is so that the paedo can gain acceptance. My only worry is what will DD say when it ends? As a grown up how magical it would be if fairies left me gifts! xx

MNEdBlackpoolWiganandSalford Sun 16-Jun-13 09:49:24

I think it is lovely and if I knew the people doing it well or knew for definate who it was I would be ok with it.
However for someone to do it and not mention anything at all even in a quiet word to you and you not know who it is, is a bit weird.

I can only presume dd has been telling them something about loving fairies?

I had a funny incident the other day with dd and fairies, she is 10 but has sen and on holiday all these insects started slowly flying up out of the hedges, hundreds of them and she gasped and shouted "mummmm fairies!!!" It was lovely to see a hint of childhood in there still!

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