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AIBU?

To think farmers work too hard?

221 replies

Ladyflip · 25/05/2013 17:47

I am a farmer's wife. From last Saturday to yesterday my DH has worked 108 hours out of a possible 168. He is still at work now. He hasn't had a whole day without going to work since October last year. He worked 351 days out of a possible 365 last year, including Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year. This is standard for our life.

I get very frustrated at our lack of family life and holiday. He gets very tired and irritable. I know I am not the only farmer's wife to find rearing a family with a farming DH difficult. But I get more frustrated at people telling me how hard they work when they have no idea what real hard work is like. Yes teachers, I'm talking about you bellyaching at working 60 hours a week and having lots of holidays.

Yes I'm pissed off. It's Bank Holiday and I have barely seen my DH except to put meals in front of him. Flame away.

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Roary1 · 25/05/2013 17:50

Most farmers do not work as hard as that.

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squeakytoy · 25/05/2013 17:51

I dont doubt it is hard work, but he presumably chose to take it on, and you by marrying him accepted that would be the life you had.

Obviously the welfare of animals, or care of crops cant be left for a fortnight while you all buggered off on an All Inclusive in Bendorm.

Is it not possible to employ farmhands to lighten some of the work load?

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LouiseSmith · 25/05/2013 17:52

YANBU

Not at all. But I assume you knew all of this about him before you settled down and had kids. Can he not hire a farm hand. Maybe and have some you time :)

xx

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Ladyflip · 25/05/2013 17:52

It has been particularly bad this week. Silaging. And herdsman and relief herdsman both off. But its always relentless.

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Bowlersarm · 25/05/2013 17:52

YANBU

It must be relentless.

Is there anyway you could get a break. Any relatives who know what they are doing to relieve you for a couple of days?

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AgentZigzag · 25/05/2013 17:54

Is it worse because of the season?

Don't blame you being miffed if he's out that much, do you manage to get out to see other people?

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Ladyflip · 25/05/2013 17:57

We are going away in July. Smile
And no, I didn't know when I married him as since then he has come back to the family farm rather than being employed elsewhere and obviously now the buck stops with him. I think he married me under false pretences!

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EachAndEveryHighway · 25/05/2013 17:59

OK so he's a dairy farmer. How many cows? At least there is herdsman and relief herdsman (under normal circumstances!) Maybe he could delegate more to them - increase their responsibilities. I appreciate it's hard at the moment with them both away and being in the midst of silage-making.

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LadyBeagleEyes · 25/05/2013 18:02

It's fine to moan about how hard it is, but not fair to have a go at teachers.
I'm not a teacher btw, but I think all professions have their own stresses.

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toomuchtoask · 25/05/2013 18:05

Don't have a moan at teachers because your husband works too hard. FFS.

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LindyHemming · 25/05/2013 18:05

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

janey68 · 25/05/2013 18:06

I agree ladybeagle.

What do you do for a job OP? Because it sound like if its something that's just a mere 60 hours a week, you're fair game for us all to have a pop!

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Pouncer1 · 25/05/2013 18:08

Oh lady I know exactly where you are coming. It's so hard for farmers these days and sadly very little profit in many cases. My DDad hasn't had a day off in 3 years now:(...unless we can count 2 days off where he broke his leg in 5 places because a spreader fell on him and was stuck for hours!:(

I would never change my childhood though and had the best upbringing on the farm but I am not sure i could take it on myself with very little money coming in and no family time.

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theodorakisses · 25/05/2013 18:08

I agree. It is so hard, I lodged on a farm for a couple of years and when they weren't working they were lying awake worrying.

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nextphase · 25/05/2013 18:09

Would it be possible to suggest to the herdsmen don't both have the same week off? Especially at very busy times?
Or are they off unplanned (e.g. ill) rather than you/DH agreeing for them both to be off?

Hope it slackens off soon for you - is the dry weather today a blessing or a curse?

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Ladyflip · 25/05/2013 18:11

I'm a partner in a firm of solicitors janey68 so not without my own stresses at work. So yes, flame away and have a pop.

We are milking about 180 cows.

Maybe its not fair to single out teachers, but I have had three teachers or teacher's partners tell me this week that teachers work too hard and frankly I'm pissed off with smiling through gritted teeth at them when I know they are getting a holiday this week.

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 25/05/2013 18:11

oh another slag off teachers thread
((hides thread))

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janey68 · 25/05/2013 18:14

Partner in a law firm? Piss easy then .

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theodorakisses · 25/05/2013 18:16

The farm I lived on the wife was a teacher and if she hadn't been they wouldn't have been able to diversify and market as organic and go to markets. Not bashing teachers, I am married to a headmaster but the holidays are a bonus and do have a financial effect on a farming family.

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toomuchtoask · 25/05/2013 18:16

Oh yes. Teachers should never get a holiday should they.

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 25/05/2013 18:17

YANBU that your DH works hard and it must be tough. YABU to have a go at teachers when you clearly know fuck all about it.

My ex was from a dairy farming family. I think what annoyed me more than the hard work was the fact he'd been brought up to believe that the world had to revolve around the man of the family, because that man was working very hard and everyone else would need to fit in as and when.

I am not certain where the dividing line between 'working very hard' and 'being a bit of a wanker' was, but I can see that even perfectly lovely people would struggle with that lifestyle, to give enough time to their families. It is a hard job.

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Dominodonkey · 25/05/2013 18:20

Op - since you sit on your arse in an office all day then perhaps you would like to keep your ignorant comments about teachers to yourself. Your DH obviously works ridiculous and frankly unhealthy hours - I have no idea why he has to work so hard when you have a job in one of the most overpaid professions in the country. Just because his hours are ridiculously excessive doesn't mean that teachers don't deserve a weeks holiday.

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Ladyflip · 25/05/2013 18:22

Yes Janey Grin In comparison it is. Which is why you don't see or hear me moaning about it.
Not too bothered about the weather at the moment as silaging done last week. Thanks to all those who are supportive and try to understand the work that goes into producing food.

It really isn't intended as a slag off teachers thread and I'm sorry if it comes across as that. My reasons for saying what I did are above.

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LindyHemming · 25/05/2013 18:24

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KingRollo · 25/05/2013 18:25

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