to be annoyed at this text?

(71 Posts)
SeeingTheLight Sat 18-May-13 23:45:44

Asked friend if she would like to go out for dinner next Saturday.

She replied back saying -

"I am fully booked all through May and the start of June. Maybe later in June"

..... I just feel a it hmm like I am trying to book a dinner with a famous person through their PA or something.

It's comepletely fine that she can't do Saturday but I just don't buy that someone would be busy every single night between now and the end the middle of June.

Aibu?

everlong Sun 19-May-13 08:33:44

I would have replied ' oh I'm really sorry I've got stuff on every sarurday till x June can I get back to you ASAP? Would love to see you. Type of thing.

Is she always a bit stuffy?

alpinemeadow Sun 19-May-13 08:42:10

Also about the failure to suggest a return date (though this ow did sort of at least envisage the possibility of one).
I'm not certain any longer that that means 'go away' - although for me the convention would be to suggest an altenative or at the very least say would love to see you, not sure about dates, can i get back to you, i think that's not a universal convention. Some people just respond to the question 'can you do x' date,?'with 'no', because that is the question that they were asked! Not necessarily trying to get rid of you - but sometimes they are, and how are we verbose types supposed to tell which is which?

UptheChimney Sun 19-May-13 09:07:25

I've come to the conclusion that unless someone actually says 'you are the most loathsome person i've ever met' or similar in a text, you can't be certain they're brushing you off - though they may be, and that's the problem! I certainly wouldn't assume other woman in this case doesn't want to see you op

But what I get quite shock about in here, is how many AIBU stories involve texting quite serious stuff. Surely, you say things to people's faces if you have something important or significant to say to them?

Maybe its becaus I am such a sloooow texter that its easier to email, or pick up the phone.

Or maybe I'm just old & old-fashioned (well I know Im middle-aged eeek)

ControlGeek Sun 19-May-13 09:44:58

If she does it again, just text back 'ok, have your PA talk to my PA and see if they can work out a date'

Bowlersarm Sun 19-May-13 09:53:45

YANBU

My first free Saturday is 27th July <proud emoticon>. However if I were your friend I would have text back something like 'sorry can't make next Saturday but can you do x y z date'

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning Sun 19-May-13 09:56:19

I think you are being abit over sensitive tbh. I think you was just giving you to opportunity to say when you are free in June.

scaevola Sun 19-May-13 10:03:13

Well, the next two weekends are either side of half term so plans may well be in place and at takes us into June. One event the next weekend after that then puts you into the second half of June. So I don't think it's an unusual level of busyness.

And her intention by suggesting the second half of June could simply be an indication of when she is free. If you want to see her, suggest a date then. If you're not sure about the friendship, then you can let it slide.

Saddayinspring2 Sun 19-May-13 10:47:58

<grin>@*controlgeek*, good idea

Saddayinspring2 Sun 19-May-13 10:48:11

Oops

Mia4 Sun 19-May-13 11:09:34

YANBU, that text was abrupt anyway but given the added context with you being the only one pushing for meet ups 90% of the time and her not bothering, it sounds like she's really reached the point of seriously not bothering.

I'd just let her be, if she does value your friendship then she'll text you about meeting up sometime but I'd treat this as closure myself that the desire for friendships not there anymore.

SeeingTheLight Sun 19-May-13 11:13:15

If she does it again, just text back 'ok, have your PA talk to my PA and see if they can work out a date'

Hahaha, or maybe -

Have your people speak to my people and see if we can't start a dialogue.

DoJo Sun 19-May-13 12:39:54

I don't see what's so bad about it - she answered your question and gave you an idea of when she might be free. She perhaps hasn't got her diary on her whilst texting, or didn't make an effort to make it clear that she wants to see you, but if you are annoyed with the way she treats you generally then that is probably why you find her response rude - of itself it really isn't that bad.

MrsMelons Sun 19-May-13 12:42:59

I am booked up every weekend until mid July so it is quite possible, I am not a celebrity just always seem to be busy.

I am not sure why you don't book in a date for the end of June now so its sorted? Although if the text is exactly as you have written then it does seem a bit short!

Lovingfreedom Sun 19-May-13 12:46:14

Your friend sounds very popular and important and you should be flattered that she's got a window of opportunity at the end of June

twooter Sun 19-May-13 13:07:57

Tbh, if I've had a run of busy weekends, then I crave a quiet one. Maybe she just can't bring herself to organise something else. Sometimes you just want free weekends, so you can be spontaneous , and do whatever you feel like at the time.

alpinemeadow Sun 19-May-13 13:26:25

Upthechimney i agree, texting has turned out to be a fraught activity! Particularly as i think sometimes people text precisely when things are awkward, to avoid having to speak to the person - which makes it worse. Always pick up the phone if it's difficult subject matter and you value the friendship!
Then we have the whole area of not replying to texts - which i think can often/at least occasionally be because the text has not arrived or has been overlooked. Though to be fair that problem happened with not replying to answerphone messages as well.
So yes in some ways its better to phone and speak - but the reality is that some people don't really want to be phoned, we are used to text and email. So we plough on, using all the different methods at our disposal...are we that much better off? A bit, probably.

fortyplus Tue 21-May-13 14:09:15

People lead busy lives...

I recently sent a friend details of every single weekend day I have free over the summer and this is the list:

16 June
6&7 July
3, 10/11, 17, 24/25/26 August
29 September

August looks good!!

grants1000 Tue 21-May-13 14:35:01

I have a friend like that, are used to have, because not only did she use fully booked all the time, she'd say yes then cancel at the last min as something better came up, she asked me recently why I had not been touch and I told her why and she had no idea and was quite upset and sorry, I said I was a friend not a colleague and she agreed she'd been a bit twattish.

Sadly, there are certain months during the year that my text messages go out like that, if they go out as an answer at all. During particularly busy periods at work (all March, all April), I drift off mid-way through conversations / text messages. I am crazily busy during that period.
This year, I was working @ 11 at night, and had got a message on facebook on my phone from a friend. I replied an answer with a swift "still working". She'd replied but then I got side-tracked and totally forgot to answer, so came across as being really rude. I really didn't mean to, but it's enough to keep track of work and family at that time, everything else falls by the wayside.
I generally do warn everybody ahead of time that I'm not going to be my usual responsive self until May, and fortunately most of my friends work in the same environment so understand as they're just as crap as I am.
She may not realise how rude she came across in the message. Maybe point it out to her. If she doesn't have mitigating circumstances, then ditch given you are doing all the running. Once I get out of April, I pick back up on all my outstanding conversations and hope people get why I haven't been in touch!

KellyElly Tue 21-May-13 14:54:01

But if she had have put 'can't make sat, sorry', then you would have said 'what about xxx' and then she would have said 'I'm really sorry I'm fully booked until the end of June'. It would all have come to the same conclusion really. She was just saving you a game of text tennis. You are being a bit precious IMO.

wigglesrock Tue 21-May-13 14:59:26

I send texts like that! My husband works shifts, weekends and is doing a rake of overtime. I sent a text like that to a friend last week shock . We don't have a free weekend night until mid July, my friend just went "fuck you're busy" and I went "yup" - no big drama, no slights intended.

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