to be annoyed at this text?

(71 Posts)
SeeingTheLight Sat 18-May-13 23:45:44

Asked friend if she would like to go out for dinner next Saturday.

She replied back saying -

"I am fully booked all through May and the start of June. Maybe later in June"

..... I just feel a it hmm like I am trying to book a dinner with a famous person through their PA or something.

It's comepletely fine that she can't do Saturday but I just don't buy that someone would be busy every single night between now and the end the middle of June.

Aibu?

SeeingTheLight Sun 19-May-13 00:46:45

There wasn't a ? at the end Sad

sad

Saddayinspring2 Sun 19-May-13 00:57:14

Ah, telling you not asking you... How magnanimous of her to let you re request later on ! Mean and self important! Text back.. Am free ( insert day in June and one in July) . Then leave.

I used to have a friend who, every time I bumped into her kept saying we must meet up for coffee at some future point! She would say she had a busy week but we must rearrange the next week and set a date! It just carried on for ages! Makes you feel totally ridiculous!

fortyplus Sun 19-May-13 01:01:23

A friend contacted me this week and wanted to go out one weekend day. I've just emailed her a list of every single Sat or Sun I have free - ten of them between now and the start of October!!

Patosshades Sun 19-May-13 01:14:06

YANBU, she should have replied with a date she did have free or suggestion at least. "maybe later in June" screams, if nothing better comes up. Silly mare, her loss OP!

SeeingTheLight Sun 19-May-13 01:34:56

I should give a little bit of background really.

This is a friend I have grown up with, born only 2 months apart - so have known each other for over 20 years. We did not go to the same school or have ever worked together so don't have the same circles of friends or many mutual friends.

This is a friendship I try and put effort into because I'd be quite sad to lose such a long friendship, but it generally is 90% of the time me asking her if she'd like to go out somewhere.

The last time we went out was 5 months ago.

This text has just sent me sort of finally made me realise how much she doesn't value this friendship. Therefore I have been a bit petulant and text her back and said - ok, forget about it then.

TheSecondComing Sun 19-May-13 01:47:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SeeingTheLight Sun 19-May-13 02:15:32

TheSecond it's not about her being busy, as it very well may be true.

It was the way it was worded, and the fact that there was a maybe you can try and reschedule with me at a later date.

Everyone is busy, everyone has things going on in their life.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 19-May-13 02:29:08

'I''m fully booked' is just a phrase people use surely. It's not meant to be offensive.

The lack of question mark could just be a typo.

People are busy.

I'd just text back 'ok, I'm free 25th June or 3rd of July, do either of those suit?' and see what she says.

MyShoofly Sun 19-May-13 02:33:57

I have a "friend" who does this all the time.....except she is the least busy person I know hmm. only you know this friend though OP....maybe she genuinely has a lot on the go this month.

squoosh Sun 19-May-13 03:16:45

She's clearly a twat.

What's her name Eltonette John?

RollingThunder Sun 19-May-13 05:23:24

I once called my sister in November. Mobile to mobile so she had a missed call from me. I got a text later that said. 'Really busy at the moment but should be able to talk next year!!!'

We weren't close, I did all the running. I stopped after that and, surprise surprise she didn't pick up the slack! She has only met my children 3 times and only one of those was actually down to her making any kind of effort!

SarahAndFuck Sun 19-May-13 05:40:02

Her saying "maybe later in June" without offering an actual date would, depending on my mood, make me think that either she didn't have her diary with her to suggest a firm date or it would make me think she was waiting to see if a better offer came in for later in June before committing to me.

Just saying maybe later in June means that you would then have to text or call her again, perhaps more than once, to say "what about the 15th?", "how about the 22nd", "is the 29th any good for you?" until either you got the message that she didn't want to meet up or she finally committed to an actual date.

maddening Sun 19-May-13 05:52:45

I would just reply - well let me know if you have a date that you would fancy a catch up meal on. Leave it at that - ball's in her court then - and if she doesn't come back to you don't fret over it.

Numberlock Sun 19-May-13 06:08:47

I'm not defending the abruptness of the text but I sympathise with having to run my 'social calendar' like my work one and book friends in weeks or months in advance, otherwise it wouldn't happen.

Wuxiapian Sun 19-May-13 07:01:41

YANBU.

Be busy when she's finally got time for you!

UptheChimney Sun 19-May-13 07:18:30

Goodness some very intolerant respons here. I know what I'm doing practically every at and night until the first week in June, and certainly most weekends through to July. I do a lot -- that's my life. Why is it that that is so rude?

SprinkleLiberally Sun 19-May-13 07:18:38

Agree it is easy to be booked up for weeks, but the tone was a bit hmmm

UptheChimney Sun 19-May-13 07:25:24

but the tone was a bit hmmm

Aaah, I see. You know what I notice in here us how much texting (rather than actually TALKING) causes misunderstandings between people.

I've often said that I'm booked up, but if I say it, it's usually apologetically and a bit of-mocking because I'm soooooo important < joke >

Vividmemories Sun 19-May-13 07:31:40

I am currently the 'other woman' in a similar scenario, in that I've sent a similar message to someone recently. I'm trying to let the friendship fizzle out and hoping she gets the hint that I don't want to see her any more! I'm gutless. But your assessment of the situation sounds about right OP, sorry.

littlewhitebag Sun 19-May-13 07:37:17

Thing is with texts is you don't know the context of what she was doing when she replied or the tone she was implying. She might have been in a rush and just keen to respond to you and didn't think too much bout the actual words or at work (hence the use of a work like phrase.) If someone text me that reply i wouldn't even think twice about it.

OnwardBound Sun 19-May-13 07:42:11

I completely get where you are coming from OP.

I think it's fine that this friend is busy until possibly the end of June.

But the tone of her text was so dismissive of you, intentionally or not.

It was rude and thoughtless.

If she wanted to indicate that she valued you and wanted to meet up at some point in the future she should have made more of an effort.

If she truly didn't know when she would next be free, ie didn't have her diary on her or something, well she could have mentioned that in the text and also added 'Will check my diary and get back to you asap'. That would have been quick and easy, took me all of 2 seconds to write and probably would have made you feel a whole lot better.

Or why couldn't she have said 'So sorry, This month and June is pretty hectic, but are you free in July?'

We all know that texting can be a little short and sharp [not always meant] but it is always helpful to still be polite and considerate of the feelings of the person you are texting!

alpinemeadow Sun 19-May-13 08:08:38

Second all those who say texting can lead to problems - it can be very difficult to know whether someone is giving you the brush off or just has a diferent texting style!
I've come to the conclusion that unless someone actually says 'you are the most loathsome person i've ever met' or similar in a text, you can't be certain they're brushing you off - though they may be, and that's the problem! I certainly wouldn't assume other woman in this case doesn't want to see you op (but i completely understand how you felt)

WhatDoesTheDogSay Sun 19-May-13 08:14:06

YA maybe BU, but I would be annoyed by that text too and agree that it sounds like your friend is waiting for a better offer.

DIYapprentice Sun 19-May-13 08:15:08

If it's someone you know well and can joke with, why wouldn't you just send back a text saying 'Just give me a bloody date, X!!!'?

I send texts like this - my friends know I am direct, so it doesn't result in fall-outs. If I sent this I would expect a text back suggesting a date at the end of June.

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