To not want to hear how busy people are, all the time?

(93 Posts)
Lamour Sat 18-May-13 16:12:57

I really am sick to the back teeth of people saying how busy they are. Lots of people are busy. Most just get on with it.

There is a mum I bump into at the school on a regular basis. Every conversation I have with her (usually initiated by her in the first place) goes along the same theme, of how terribly busy she is, and how her life is so hectic, and she has this on, and that on, and oh she's just so very very very busy. She volunteers this information. I have long since stopped asking her how she is as her reply is always "busy". We used to meet up but I got fed up with her asking me to meet her and then saying "I'm so busy for the next 6 weeks" and pencilling me in for a half an hour coffee in 6 weeks' time.

I also have an acquaintance on my Facebook friends list, who tells the Facebook world on a daily basis how busy she is, and lists the things that she has done each day. Then everybody marvels about how she fits it all in, and how she must surely be superwoman. Said woman does have several children, but IMO does a lot of unnecessary things and puts pressure on herself to make everything perfect. She will do something during an evening, such as ironing everything in her ironing basket, or wrapping up teachers' end of term presents, and then put a photo on Facebook of it, and again bleat on about how very busy she has been and what a busy evening, and how it's not easy to do things like ironing or present wrapping when you have several children.

It just feels competitive, and silly. As I said, lots of people are busy, but most just get on with it.

BalloonSlayer Sat 18-May-13 18:00:11

Yanbu, I have 3 DCs and work 3 days a week and I don't feel too busy - but try to meet up with some friends who have eg 2 DCs and work 2 days a week and it's "oooh I'm so BUSY!!" I think: why?

And don't get me started on the people who claim they are so busy because "I have a house to run" as if it is some mighty institution or aircraft carrier or similar, or that they are Mrs Whatserface from Downton Abbey supervising a platoon of staff, instead of a mum of teenagers with a semi in suburbia which only needs hoovering once a week.

CashmereHoodlum Sat 18-May-13 18:03:15

I get very hacked off with the busy people. I am sick of hearing how virtuous they are, and also sick of the assumption that because I don't bang on about how busy I am that I have an infinite amount of spare time. I'm tempted to say, to one of them, at least, "oh yes, I forgot you're a busy mum. Thank you for reminding me".

The busy people seem to make an unnecessary amount of work for themselves. Ironing flannels and colour co-ordinating their compost. Cleaning the inside of their kitchen cupboards with a cotton bud.

People who are genuinely busy are too busy to tell you how busy they are. People who tell you how busy they are are often either trying to make you feel inferior and slatternly, or they are trying to justify things to themselves.

It is often anti-feminist busy-ness too. I don't appreciate being looked down on because I am too lazy to clean shoe-polish out of DH's brogues with a toothpick. As though if I can't perform this most basic of tasks for my poor helpless man I have too much time on my hands and am a Bad Wife. Not my shoes, not my problem. In fact, not an actual problem at all.

CarpeVinum Sat 18-May-13 18:06:13

colour co-ordinating their compost

grin

AlvinHallsGroupie Sat 18-May-13 18:07:01

Balloon grin
There are a few of those on here though who list the billionty things they do whilst constantly on MN wink

Decoy Sat 18-May-13 18:13:38

I hate competitive busy-ness. It doesn't impress me if someone keeps going on about how busy they are. Especially if they say "busy, busy, busy!" in a breezy voice!

Wellthen Sat 18-May-13 18:15:44

What I find irritating is people who are so important busy that they have to double everything up. I have a friend who, almost every time we go out either is late, has to leave early or disapears and then comes back because she has to see some other group of friends. It always a friend or boyfriend or family, never a work meeting or drs appointment which is what makes me think why doesnt she just say ' I cant meet you then as I'm seeing some other friends' either to us or to them. Why does she try to do two things at the same time? Eventually I think I'll get bored with this and tell her she is rude and makes people feel unimportant.

TheSecondComing Sat 18-May-13 18:21:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EglantinePrice Sat 18-May-13 18:23:55

I however am genuinely busy. but only because I'm inefficient and spend too long on mn then leave everything essential to the last minute, then tell myself I'll never do that again

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 18-May-13 18:27:05

Well..I said earlier I have to double things up.

Its due to working and having lots of Dd stuff on and yes quite a few folk to catch up with.

I hope they don't think I am rude or self important. .I don't tell them I am going to see others after.

Am not constantly on MN either..despite that wee dig earlier.

Wow..seems there is a lot of resentment of people being or claiming to be busy.

Genuinely didn't think this was such a contentious area.

Maybe because most of my friends also have lots of appointments for their DCs and therapies to do and courses to attend about their DCs too.

everlong Sat 18-May-13 18:27:15

LOL.
I do the list to dh when he asks what I've done in the day.
Hoovering
Washing
Walked the dog
Hoovering
Ironing
Shopping
Hoovering
grin

He knows in reality I've hoovered once and been on MN most of the day wink

noisytoys Sat 18-May-13 18:30:37

I'm always tired. Maybe because I'm always busy wink grin

Wellthen Sat 18-May-13 18:30:42

I supose thats more what I mean Fanjo - she makes a big deal out of 'cant stay long, have to...'. When arranging a time to meet she will literally tell us her whole day before finishing with 'so itll have to be between 4 and 5'.

I do find it incredibly annoying that one of the very important things she has to do is 'have a nap' but I realise that what she sees as important is different to me. I dont mind going straight from work but she clearly does. What annoys me is that she has to tell us all of this as the only impact it has is to make me feel unimportant.

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 18-May-13 18:32:28

I see what you mean..she sounds quite self obsessed rather than busy...

LaQueen Sat 18-May-13 18:37:39

A lot of people associate being very busy, with being more popular/worthwhile/important and necessary.

It's a bit sad, and probably connected to underlying, low self esteem [shrugs]

Up until a few months ago, I worked 2 part time jobs, kept a fairly large house always clean and tidy, ferried DDs around to various activities, met friends every week, and was helping DH with some major organisational changes within his company.

I didn't feel I was especially busy, it's just my life. It is what it is. I certainly don't ever recall actually telling people how busy I was.

MolotovCocktail Sat 18-May-13 18:38:30

Haha, yeah, this reminds me of a family member of my supposedly close-knot family who was "too busy" to visit me and newborn dd2 last year. Turns out the real reason was that 1) she'd chose to do the garden instead in the nice weather and 2) snaffle some beers with her friends.

There's been a very odd atmosphere ever since, because I refuse to take tho shit as a valid reason not to see us anymore.

nokidshere Sat 18-May-13 18:38:55

I am always busy but that's more due to the fact that i am very inefficient rather than having too much to do!!!

Having sat on the sofa most of today having coffee and a natter with a friend, I now have to be super busy in order to fit in all the stuff I was supposed to be doing instead haha

I'd much rather be super busy for an hour and a slob for the rest of the time than busy all the time grin

AThingInYourLife Sat 18-May-13 18:39:18

I love this thread grin

It has made me notice something that had passed me by.

And made me realise that when I boast about my lovely weekend with no plans at all (the best kind!) that nobody is actually impressed.

I'm just outing myself as an unbusy, unimportant nobody.

MolotovCocktail Sat 18-May-13 18:40:15

I'm tipsy, but to tipsy (or busy) enough to see there are type-o's grin

TheSecondComing Sat 18-May-13 18:44:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 18-May-13 18:49:12

Are you not going to invite her round for a cuppa?

TheSecondComing Sat 18-May-13 18:49:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AThingInYourLife Sat 18-May-13 18:49:45

Is tipsy a kind of busy?

That's the kind of "unavailable" I could get on board with.

"Sorry, I'm planning to be half cut for the next while. I'll have to pencil you in when afternoon drinking in the sun goes out of season."

grin

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 18-May-13 18:51:55

That is my life right there grin

AlvinHallsGroupie Sat 18-May-13 18:59:07

Fanjo not having a dig at you lovely blush

AlvinHallsGroupie Sat 18-May-13 19:01:49

Thinking about it in RL its the people who do the fake busy to put you down.ie Arriving late,leaving halfway through a social event ,the message is clearly you are not as important as me,the cat,the my DHs pants that need washing now Its a put down .

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