AIBU To Resign Over This?

(45 Posts)
DaisyBug Fri 17-May-13 22:32:08

Can't say too much as obviously have to protect confidentiality.

I'm a primary teacher in a small private school. I've been trying to tell management since the first week of the year that a particular child in my class has severe behavioural difficulties and requires constant 1:1 support (and certainly far more than my TA and I can reasonably provide when we have 25 other children to think of too). He is completely out of control and cannot be left alone for a second. He frequently hurts other children and shows no remorse. In fact he usually finds it hilarious. I took some observations of him to show my old tutor way back in October. She took one look at them and said, 'This is a child with special needs.'

Yet management are in denial. They say, 'You just need to distract him with something' ... 'He's doing quite well really. Look at his writing' .... 'He's just upset because his parents have separated. You just need to give him lots of hugs and he'll be fine.'

Last week he attacked another child so badly that she had to be blue-lighted to hospital. Still management are not taking the issues seriously enough in my view. The parents have been called in and spoken to, yet the child is being slowed to remain in class without no extra support.

I'm seriously considering threatening to resign, saying I am concerned for the safety of the other children. I could not honestly tell their parents that I feel able to keep them safe. I also fear the consequences for my own career if there were to be another serious incident like this.

AIBU to kick up a huge fuss over this do you think, possibly even threatening to go to the press?

EvilTwins Sun 19-May-13 22:19:44

Two kids at my school had a fight on Friday and one was taken to hospital in an ambulance. The call also triggered the police, who turned up to investigate. Apparently this is normal. If a child was "blue lighted" to hospital, why were the police not involved?

Skinnywhippet Sun 19-May-13 22:12:02

Is it a Steiner/ Montessori school?

sherazade Sun 19-May-13 09:01:53

hi, another primary school teacher in small private shcool here. Have been in the exact same situation as yourself.
It's not a safeguarding issue and and your union cannot help.
You need to document and log everything this child does that arouses concern in great detail.
Then you need to have a formal meeting with his parents where you voice your concerns. if you have the parents on your side, the battle is half over. His parents should make an appointment with their gp taking a formal report of the child's behaviour with them. The child will hopefully then get a referall. I have just been through this process myself, once I won the parents over the child got a referral.

fuzzypicklehead Sun 19-May-13 08:54:19

Would this be a non-traditional school, perhaps? Of the sort that we aren't supposed to mention on Mumsnet?

That would explain the lack of management reaction to those incidents. If that is the case, and you're working at one of those schools that must not be named, I would suggest quietly looking for alternative employment. The situation won't change and you will do yourself no favours by going to the press.

Skinnywhippet Sat 18-May-13 23:58:16

So year 1 or year 2. As a teacher myself, in the same age range in the independent sector I am shocked at this. You need to get references if you leave. I would start applying elsewhere immediately. Please don't let this damage your future. Is it only one form entry? Do you have other colleagues who teach this child for music/ PE?

Bumpotato Sat 18-May-13 17:04:34

Good luck. It sounds as if you are in a horrible position.

DaisyBug Sat 18-May-13 16:57:30

Re: Career Suicide. I want to get out anyway and have done so since long before this incident. The management is very poor and there are all kinds of problems. Children are allowed to run wild and the place is anarchy. There is also financial trouble. In fact this may end up killing it off ultimately, we'll have to see.

Interesting point about the police being contacted. That honestly hadn't occurred to me as the child is only 6 years old.

Anyway, I have already revealed far too much and need to stop posting now. Thank you for your views everyone.

Julezboo Sat 18-May-13 16:53:38

Little shit?! Nice. Poor little boy probably has special needs. What do his parents say about it.

My ds has severe ADHD and I am mortified when he hurts another child! I am also pushing for help and support for him. Can you pull the parents in for a meeting and express your concern and ask if he is the same at home?

My ds hurts other children through reactions to his sensory processing disorder. Not an excuse? He has no understanding of other people's feelings at all. Does not make him a little shit!

scaevola Sat 18-May-13 16:45:40

"Could you confidentially confide in them that you are worried about the dangerous boy and the lack of support you're getting from the head and ask them to make a really really serious complaint"

Don't do this. You may well be heading for the centre of a shit storm anyhow (which is why you need copies of all relevant documents) and adding a major breach of confidentiality is guaranteed to make your position worse.

wetspringday Sat 18-May-13 16:43:31

The union will not do anything.

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 18-May-13 16:38:57

Masirah..the child is not a "little shit".

WandaDoff Sat 18-May-13 16:03:25

If you are not a member of a union already, I would advise you to join one as a matter of urgency.

Awomansworth Sat 18-May-13 16:00:13

I know nothing about private schools, but if I were paying for my children to attend private school, I would want a smaller class size than 25.

My children only have 22 and 23 in their respective primary classes.

lljkk Sat 18-May-13 15:56:13

I think it's believable.

DS went to a tiny private school that defied all the stereotypes that MNers seem to expect of private schools.

YANBU, I think I'd have to resign, too.

Skinnywhippet Sat 18-May-13 15:54:27

If you are an nqt you can contact the nqt induction panel.

Skinnywhippet Sat 18-May-13 15:53:18

You need the head to observe this child in the classroom and playground. How old is the child? What is the behaviour management policy? You must contact the governors. You must make file notes about every incident.

The usual procedure, when a child is acting in a destructive manner is to remove all the other children from the classroom and leave the individual in the room. Remember to use mitten hands when restraining.

This does not sound like a supportive school to work in regardless of the current situation.

How many years have you been teaching?

wetspringday Sat 18-May-13 15:53:03

OhLori - sorry, only just saw your question. Ideally yes, fight it out, but in reality, what can you actually do? From bitter experience the union do very little to help and can actually exacerbate certain situations.

IvorHughJarse Sat 18-May-13 15:49:20

You have been advised by the school to give a child in your class 'lots of hugs'? Really?

Skinnywhippet Sat 18-May-13 15:46:49

26 in a private school. Wow.

masirah Sat 18-May-13 00:29:14

So, it seems to me that nothing will happen until someone grows a pair and actually does something. Sorry people, teachers need to be able to stop finnyfannying about and get things changed. Difficult I accept but there MUST be a route where this type of problem can be stopped.
Am I being naive?

GW297 Fri 17-May-13 23:50:58

Zipzap - that's not how private schools operate in my experience. The child's parents will be unlikely to make a fuss at the perceived risk of jeopardising his place at the school and the school will want to keep their 'customers' happy as they want the school fees.

GW297 Fri 17-May-13 23:47:37

Agree union won't help. The school will do anything to maintain its reputation. Just do your best to get another job as soon as you can. Also agree 25-26 does seem large for a private school class.

zipzap Fri 17-May-13 23:46:40

How well do you get on with the parents of the badly injured child? (hope s/he is recovering well by the way)

Could you confidentially confide in them that you are worried about the dangerous boy and the lack of support you're getting from the head and ask them to make a really really serious complaint (I'm sure they must be thinking about it anyway) that is not only complaining about the incident but their worries for their dc's future safety. Obviously get them to agree not to mention you or agree a way between you whereby it looks like they approached you and you answered their questions honestly along the lines of not being able to guarantee it won't happen again to their child or any other as nothing has changed from when the incident happened. But done in such a way that you can't be accused of breaching child confidentiality!

Sounds like a horrible position to be in for everybody concerned (except management ream who are dealing with it by not bothering to be concerned).

What do the child's parents say? Do they acknowledge that actually nice handwriting doesn't actually alway correlate with a nicely behaved child; that there can be children with nice handwriting and sen?

OhLori Fri 17-May-13 23:40:37

But wetspringday, doesn't that just make things continue, ad infinitum, the sense of fatalism and lack of responsibility continuing to your successor? I can understand that you need to protect your well-being and your mental health, but equally how could you "take the rap" for the bad behaviour of other people, even if you found another job to go to? Honest question. But I notice you put kids' behaviour, not kid's behaviour, so I am assuming you were outnumbered. Even so, why don't teachers go for the jugular here?

wetspringday Fri 17-May-13 23:29:01

the union won't help. Only you know if you WBU, I have resigned over kids' behaviour but only when I had another job to go to and not just one kid (although I'm not primary.)

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