AIBU to not allow my child to go to a football parade on a week night during SATs week?

(475 Posts)
TheDetective Sat 11-May-13 19:28:10

I'm being called all the names under the sun by my ex, and DS1 is sulking and barely speaking to me.

I just found out tonight that Ex DP is planning to take DS1 to watch the Man United parade on Monday night. It is 6-7.30pm, and is 25 miles from home.

Any other school night I'd be fine with this. But not during SATs week, which it is next week.

I've said he can't go. He's worked hard for these exams, his sets for high school depend on the outcome of them. I just want to do what is best for DS.

I've rang my mum, his headteacher, to ask her opinion in case I am being unreasonable. She is furious that ex thinks this is even a good idea.

This is his dads reply by text 'you too are pathetic when he rebels against you youve only yourself to blame'. And 'Like I said pathetic'. Followed by 'just wait promise you he will rebel he already can't wait to get out of mums school I will laugh my ass off'. Those are his exact words by the way, not my typos.

I want my son to do well. I hope I am not being unreasonable.

It's not like utd don't have a fucking parade every season is it??

TheBuskersDog Sat 11-May-13 20:06:39

I'm concerned that he has 'worked hard' for his SATs, apart from a few practice papers to familiarise children with the format they shouldn't be working hard for them. Unfortunately some schools do pressurise their pupils to perform so that the school looks good, perhaps you could have a word with the head grin

I agree with others if he can be in bed by 9 he will be fine, if it was midnight then probably not.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 11-May-13 20:08:08

Tidy

Oh I missed that - the fact that the Head is his grandmother

That does suggest levels of complication

Justaperfectday Sat 11-May-13 20:09:53

Let him go, I can't believe the fuss surrounding sats; they are not qualifications.

SwishSwoshSwoosh Sat 11-May-13 20:10:20

His HT is also his GM? I missed that bit. Presumably that is why you are more concerned than the average parent that he performs!

lljkk Sat 11-May-13 20:11:16

I wish my yr6 needed 10 hours sleep/night (wistful).

I don't think SATs should be made more important than a fun & relatively early night out. Sorry but yabu.

Dadthelion Sat 11-May-13 20:13:57

I wouldn't let him go.

He won't remember the Man Utd football parade, the final one with Fergie in charge for long.

But the Sats results he'll remember for the rest of his life.

ChewingOnLifesGristle Sat 11-May-13 20:14:15

I would let him go but then I am hmm about SATS.

My dc will do their best as always but life outside of school and the ridiculous SATS malarky will continue as usual.

MushroomSoup Sat 11-May-13 20:14:17

I'm a primary head.
If he was my child, I'd let him go.
If he was one of my pupils, I'd advise him to go.

ChewingOnLifesGristle Sat 11-May-13 20:15:23

'But the Sats results he'll remember for the rest of his life'
confused Really??

thebody Sat 11-May-13 20:15:44

I had 2 footsie mad lads and wouldn't have dreamed if acting like this.

Of course you should let him go. Sats are for the school not pupil.

Your mom should act like a concerned grand mother who thinks this will be a wonderful father son bonding memory.

If you keep up this pressure over sats what will you be like over GCSEs and A levels.

Sats have absolutely no hearing on high school settings either.

TidyDancer Sat 11-May-13 20:16:36

Chewing - I suspect there was a hint of sarcasm in that. wink

Smudging Sat 11-May-13 20:16:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Camwombat Sat 11-May-13 20:17:24

I'd let him go. It's a fantastic memory.

In fact, my DB took the whole day off school when we won the rugby world cup to go & watch the parade with our Dad. He had the permission of both his tutor & the head, who wished they could go too. grin

juule Sat 11-May-13 20:17:53

I would let him go.
It's not as if he's going to be that late to bed anyway.

ChewingOnLifesGristle Sat 11-May-13 20:19:13

grin Gah course, oops sorryblush

thebody Sat 11-May-13 20:21:08

Lol at dads tongue in cheek comments.

DontmindifIdo Sat 11-May-13 20:21:09

I'm joining the rest - compromise of him going for the start and coming home early.

At the risk of being mean, your mum thinks the SATs matter because she's a head of a primary school, and for the school it'self, the SATs really, really matter. For the individual child, not so much. The secondary school will put him in sets based on his SATs results to start with, but at most you've got to worry about him being in the wrong set until Christmas.

cory Sat 11-May-13 20:23:01

Arisbottle Sat 11-May-13 19:45:16
"I would want my child's SATS to be a reliable picture of how they are day to day. My dd sits hers next week and has done no extra work."

This. The SATS results are there to provide a reliable picture of the day to day teaching of the school. If parents force their children to cram and even engage tutors, as some do, all that happens is that nobody gets a reliable picture of whether the school is doing its job or not. So the whole exercise will have been wasted.

Dd's HT was like this. Told the children in assembly that these exam results would determine their future. Problem was, I had already explained the SATS procedure and the setting policies of the local secondaries at home, so dd knew he was lying. Not a good thing to learn about your HT.

Otoh dd's friend became hysterical when she fell ill during SATS week as she genuinely believed her future would be ruined if she didn't sit them.

MNBlackpoolandFylde Sat 11-May-13 20:23:17

I would let him go.
DD has sats, monday she will be home at half 8 as she has netball, Tuesday it will be 10pm as she has scouts.

twofalls Sat 11-May-13 20:25:13

Let him go. SATS are about the school, not the child. High school will do their own assessment. And it will probably be more detrimental for him to be so upset he didn't go tbh.

MNBlackpoolandFylde Sat 11-May-13 20:25:54

"Told the children in assembly that these exam results would determine their future. "

This makes me angry.
I have asked all the secondaries and they all access once the kids get there.
How dare they put so much pressure on kids that these results determine their future, no they bloody do not they just tell people how the school is doing.

Startail Sat 11-May-13 20:26:41

YABU
He'll be in bed by 8.30

Pigs started doing loops over our house if my two went to bed by 9pm ever at that age. 9. 9.30 before DD2 was asleep and don't even go there with DD1.

CheeseStrawWars Sat 11-May-13 20:28:48

YABU. Sats measure schools, not pupils.

thebody Sat 11-May-13 20:40:24

Will you let him go op?

Mockingcurl Sat 11-May-13 20:40:44

I have three adult sons who have all been to good universities. They all got fantastic A level results.

I have no idea what their SATs results were. They have no idea either. They were forgotten immediately. They are an irrelevance to the child taking them.

What they do all remember is the football parade when their team won the FA cup.

I wouldn't hesitate to let him go.

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