To ask what is normal regarding nudity and babies/smallchildren in the UK?

(162 Posts)
honeytea Sat 11-May-13 09:44:25

I am English but I live in my dp's home country (Sweden.)

We have a baby (4.5 months) it has been really lovely and hot the last couple of weeks so I have been taking ds down to the beach or to the park and letting him lie naked in the shade (on a few old towels to catch wee) this seems fairly normal here, I didn't even really think about it. The kids swim in the lakes and some are naked whilst swimming up to 5/6+ here.

I mentioned to a friend who lives in the USA how it was lovely for babyhoney to get fresh air on his bum and she said you would never do that in the USA, she said at baby groups the mums covered their babies genitals with a cloth so the other mums (and babies?)didn't see. At the baby massage group we go to all the babies are naked and I have never seen anyone trying to hide their babies genatals.

We are coming to the UK for a month in July and hopefully it will be warm. What is normal levals of baby nudity? I am from Devon so we will be having days on the beach as well as visiting parks.

thanks!

Prissypumpkin Mon 13-May-13 21:57:52

JustinBiebermakesmevom yes it is abit OTT, but I have heard that Boots and the like will report any snaps of naked children these days. Perhaps one for the "urban legends" thread!

sparkle12mar08 Mon 13-May-13 11:39:53

"We're going to need considerably bigger buns!" One of my favourite lines!

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 22:56:03

I'm sorry, but that makes me think of some saucy WI calendar, with the carefully positioned plate of scones. smile

sparkle12mar08 Sun 12-May-13 21:55:45

I must admit that whenever we take pictures of our children I make sure they're never naked. Even in the bath there's always a strategic toy or some bubbles.

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 21:28:29

Prissy - that is just ridiculous isn't it. I must admit we snap happy with DS1 and there are loads of pics of him in the bath with me and his Dad completely starkers.

Prissypumpkin Sun 12-May-13 20:39:15

Lots of people have mentioned taking photos of their naked children. Have a look at this blog from a barristerswife. It's a real eye opener..

abarristerswife.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/exhibit-a-the-child-pornographer/

seeker Sun 12-May-13 20:13:56

"Professionally I know that paedophiles cannot be rehabilitated - for a start they are not ill"

Professionally? Do tell.

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 19:42:00

That honestly makes my blood run cold Nanny

I was in town with a friend some years ago (before having dcs) and a woman lifted her daughter's skirt and took down her pants to do a pee in the street (this was a busy shopping street in Glasgow). The way she was holding the wee girl meant that everything was in full view of anyone passing buy. I felt physically sick at the thought of who could be looking on.....And I know when a wee one has to go they really have to go but I would have at least taken him/her somewhere a bit more secluded if I couldn't find a public toilet.

NannyPlumIsMyMum Sun 12-May-13 19:35:07

Professionally I know that paedophiles cannot be rehabilitated - for a start they are not ill.

Secondly anybody that thinks it is hysterical to suggest that paedophiles hang out at parks is quite frankly deluded.

They do. A lot.

I have had the misfortune to work with many of them for the last twenty years so I know that they are never very far away - which is why I would rather protect my DC from getting filmed in a public place nude - the content of which may or may not end up on the Internet.

Making a big deal about clothes is as bad as making a big deal about no clothes. Just because my babies were dressed in public (due to cultural norms) does not mean that it was a "YOU MUST COVER UP AND BE MODEST!" deal, for them I'm sure it was no different whatsoever than "let's get you dressed so we can go to the supermarket", my kids I'm sure just accepted that when we go out we are dressed regardless of the venue.

IfNotNowThenWhen Sun 12-May-13 13:20:15

Er..does anyone actually beleive that paedophiles can be rehabilitated??
They MAY have the self control not to act on their impulses, but actually Lijk, what you said about cunning/plotting behaviour, well, yes, that is a big part of what many peadophiles do.
In order to get access to children, they can be extraordinarily organised and predatory.
Also, and I have heard this from police who work in this field, unfortunately places like kids water parks and play parks ARE staked out by perverts. They don't need white vans with recording equipment. They just need their phones.
It is a horrible fact, but anywhere where children congregate, especially without clothes is a attaction to perverts.
And the police are well aware of this.

This wouldn't make me get ds to cover up-after all, it's not his fault, and I wouldn't want it to affect what he does, but to decry the fact that parks etc are an attraction to peadophiles as "hysteria" is just wishful thinking.

unlucky83 Sun 12-May-13 11:49:04

The rudey bit was sticking her bottom out and waggling it - which she only did within close family and a habit which I'm sad to say she got off her father ...but at least he keep that behaviour within our family (ie not in front of 'PILs' etc)! - at least as far as I know he does - I hope so at least...hmm

Teapot13 Sun 12-May-13 11:32:46

I am American. I find it shocking that anyone that would feel a need to cover up a baby/toddler for purposes of "modesty."

Doesn't any public pool (or beach, too, I suppose) have rules about nappies to prevent floaters?

exoticfruits Sun 12-May-13 11:21:51

I remember reading an 'interview' with Robert Black, who murdered at least four girls in the 1980s, who stated he would go to beaches and parks on hot days with the sole intention of hoping to see a child getting changed, or naked.

Which is all pathetic and no need for people to change their behaviour.

Read about half the thread, and it appears there is a sharp divide.

I said right at the beginning that it would be about 50/50 so OP might as well do as she wishes.

Booboobedoo Sun 12-May-13 11:17:00

Read about half the thread, and it appears there is a sharp divide.

I used to live by a London park with a paddling pool, and if we were passing in the summer and DS wanted to go in, we'd just strip him naked and do it. (Only if it was warm enough not to worry about towels).

We did this until he was three (when we moved out of London), but I still wouldn't think twice about it.

As a few people have said, I let him take the lead as to whether or not he wants to cover up or not, and will do the same with DD. The thought of girls being told to cover their chests way before breasts appear when boys can go topless makes me <angry>, actually.

I remember being in Barbados (honeymoon), and being amazed at how prudish all the Americans were wrt bare flesh.

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 11:05:16

You could have a boy like my nephew, who, no matter how many times he was begged not to, had a talent for whipping his willy out seconds before the shutter clicked on any group family photo. smile

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 10:59:18

Oh I accept that for you Gubbins, I was just trying to explain how I felt as a child, really!

I'll probably have a little stripper myself! grin and maybe if I do, I'll relax a bit. Not sure really!

Justin, I'm like you, a pair of trunks or a little cossie - fine!

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 10:51:56

Believe me, I recognise that a school age child stripping off on a crowded beach to roll her wet self in the sand and get it stuck in all those bits which people worry about getting sandy is not normal. It was not remotely my choice, either. Trust me, my childrens love of nudity really is not influenced by me (and sometimes worries their father. )

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 10:49:04

lljkk Apologies in advance if I'm having a bit of a blonde moment...but I'm not sure if I complete understood your post ? Do you mean that you think paedophiles can be rehabilitated ? (Personally I don't) And I'm well aware that most sexual offences are committed by a close relative having had an uncle convicted for this a few years back. (He molested his grand-daughter and I know of at least 3 other incidents with girls in our family that were not reported). He was convicted in his 50's but his wife has somehow managed to convince herself that this was a one off incident and he developed a sexual attraction for children later in life. Gold medal to anyone that can figure that one out...

I'm don't think that the sight of any/every child will inflame a paedophile with passion or whatever the hell takes hold of them and cause them to reoffend....but it's kind of hard to know if they have a "type" and therefore I prefer to keep my kids clothed on the beach. By clothed I mean swimming costume and trunks not a burqua. It's complicated subject, isn't it...I know I'm probably not making any sense as others have said the these people can get as much kicks out of seeing kids in swimming clothes or underwear as being naked.....Fuck it, maybe I will put them in burquas confused

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 10:44:24

I was wondering the same, Edge. Nudey-roody, fine; nudey rudey (or bidet-ruddy, as autocorrect would have it, implies that there's something rude; which you obviously don't actually think, unlucky.

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 10:40:15

Rudey - it's "rude" innit? grin I was just wondering.

I wasn't exactly 'made' to be, it's just my parents clearly thought as some do here, amazed anyone would have a problem with it, and like I say you can't always as a child express your discomfort with something others present as totally normal.

To be honest having thought about it some more I think it is hang-ups I have with my own body, which I will obviously try not to pass to the DCs. I'm not comfortable with it, mind, but as I said before, I wouldn't be rude or unpleasant to somebody - I'd prefer it if they didn't but then there are all sorts of things I'd prefer people not to do that they are perfectly entitled to do if you see what I mean!

Overcooked Sun 12-May-13 10:36:55

Nudey-rudey I meant.

Overcooked Sun 12-May-13 10:36:07

How does buddy-rudely have negative connotations, it just rhymes, it's a fun term nothing else in it. If kids want to be nude then they should be allowed to be, you didn't want to be as a child and were made to be which is wrong and IMO has skewed your view.

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 10:26:30

No, I think that's fair enough unlucky.

I'm sorry to ask this, as it sounds really arsey, but do you think "nudey rudey" in itself has very negative connotations?

unlucky83 Sun 12-May-13 10:23:58

Edge - there is a difference there ...my DD2 (especially) was desperate to throw her clothes off at every opportunity (hence nudey rudey nickname)...now I let her hide getting changed for ballet now (even though I find that disturbing) -I didn't force her to do either... you are obviously modest as a person and your parents shouldn't have forced you to do something you weren't comfortable with...
(As to running naked - I would never do it -too wobbly and jiggly and conscious of being judged... and too grown up ...but sometimes it would be nice to be carefree and irresponsible and really not care what people think....)

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