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AIBU?

To FB msge the girl bullying DD & tell her to stay the fuck away?

226 replies

Gossipmonster · 11/05/2013 09:02

I am not going to but it's do tempting.

Said girl encourages others to do unpleasant things to DD. In Sep one of her friends pulled DD to the ground and kicked her in the head repeatedly and yday she encouraged a boy to straddle DD and make disgusting sexual gestures to her, filming it and theatening to put it on FB.

Every day some kind of other low level incident.

School are great and deal with it but I am fed up of DD having to go through this.

Just looked on this girls FB and its wide open all comments from sycophantic friends telling her how amazing she is. I just want to write what a total birch she is who is making my DD's life hell :(

I won't as I am bigger than that and am using correct channels but this is horrid :(

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Tee2072 · 11/05/2013 09:03

School is not great dealing with this if it is still happening. Why have the children who are doing the bullying being properly punished and excluded?

But, yes, don't do anything on FB.

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Gossipmonster · 11/05/2013 09:05

The kids who have done the things have been dealt with (police were involved) but this girl keeps her nose clean by getting others to do her dirty work.

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D0oinMeCleanin · 11/05/2013 09:06

I would advise the school that if it continues you will be speaking to the police and LEA. Dealing with it means stopping it. Like Tee said, the girl and her accomplices should have been excluded and loose unsupervised breaks if they still cannot be trusted.

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Tee2072 · 11/05/2013 09:09

And the other kids didn't drop her in it? Are you sure she's the leader?

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HollyBerryBush · 11/05/2013 09:10

IF she (the girl) was encouraging and filming a sexual assault - then go back to the police.

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Gossipmonster · 11/05/2013 09:10

I sent them an email yesterday saying I am fed up with it.

DD luckily is quite resilient but how much does 1 13 yr old have to put up with?

All she wants to do is go o bloody school.

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Fairylea · 11/05/2013 09:14

I was bullied in a similar way at a similar age and actually changed schools because of it, which was the best thing for me. Would that be an option? It might not be for lots of reasons but just thoughtId mention it.

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givemeaclue · 11/05/2013 09:20

My niece changed schools and is much happier. Re the incident yesterday I would be contacting the police, the governors of kid school, the bullies parents, the head and anyone else I could think of. Those kids have assaulted your daughter I would be kicking down doors to get them excluded. That is not a low level incident it is horrific. If you haven't already gone to the police about it please do so it is horrendous your poor dd it must be hello for you.

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DeskPlanner · 11/05/2013 09:21

Go back to the police If someone was straddling your dd yesterday and stimulating sex while this idiot was filming it, it need reporting to the police. Go and report them this morning.

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givemeaclue · 11/05/2013 09:21

Hell not hello

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Birdsgottafly · 11/05/2013 09:22

A boy straddling your DD and making sexual "moves" isn't low level and I agree that this is a police matter. I wouldn't allow this to be minimised. Exclusions should have happened after this incident, as it should when your DD was physically assaulted, as well as that being a police matter. Usually, only if the perpetrator is "looked after" is it not an exclusion. Take it higher and contact the police yourself, if this isn't dealt with better by the school.

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givemeaclue · 11/05/2013 09:23

Agree with deskplanner, sending an email is not enough for an assault on your ddthat was filmed. You need to kick up a massive fuss about this seriously , get mad and get the school stopping it and log every issue with police

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Fancydrawers · 11/05/2013 09:23

Christ I'd want to grab that nasty little cow by the ear and say a few things to scare the shit out of her. Go and make a fuss to everyone you can. Your poor daughter.

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Gossipmonster · 11/05/2013 09:24

Sorry I didn't mean that was low level.

The two incidents I mentioned are the serious ones.

Every day there is name calling etc.

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givemeaclue · 11/05/2013 09:27

What did the police and school say, what are they doing about it!?

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ThenWeTakeBerlin · 11/05/2013 09:27

Don't have any contact with her on fb.

Get the police and LEA involved and kick up a fuss.

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Nanny0gg · 11/05/2013 09:28

E-mail and fed up?
Understatement, surely?

Keep the police involved, demand meetings with HoY, and Head Teacher.
Copy everything to CoG and get onto the LA and Ofsted (Safeguarding).

Batter their doors down till something changes.

Does your daughter have a friendship group? Is she the only one targeted?

I'd be very tempted to keep her at home.

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BreasticlesNTesticles · 11/05/2013 09:31

Isn't the stradlding inciden sexual assault? I'd want it treated as such by the police.

Can you get the girl and her parents into school for a meeting?

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Gossipmonster · 11/05/2013 09:32

She has a really nice friendship group.

We had RJ with the girl who assaulted her which worked as the girl is still friends with the ring leader but now seems to try and discourage her from being a cow to DD and her and DD are civil/friendly to each other.

The lad from yday has to see the head with his mum on Monday.

His mum is a teacher at the school Hmm Grin.

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Gossipmonster · 11/05/2013 09:33

DD would not go to the police re sexual assault - she was more upset about it being put on FB - which the teacher stopped and made whoever delete it in front of him.

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puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 11/05/2013 09:34

Your poor DD Sad

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Madamecastafiore · 11/05/2013 09:34

I would inform the police about the sexual assault. Lots of times things like this are treated as part of the cycle of bullying when they should be seperate incidents which people should be punished for seperately.

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Madamecastafiore · 11/05/2013 09:36

Get a statement from that teacher too.

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LEMisdisappointed · 11/05/2013 09:38

I agree with breasticles (uggghh, name!!Grin) It absolutely was a sexual assault - bastards, don't let the school brush this under the carpet because he is the son of a teacher Angry

I was bullied throuhout my schooling and im sorry to say that at 42 it still affects me and has moulded my life in a negative way. My parents handled it well, the school didn't.

It is the low level stuff, the insidious, under the radar stuff that hurts the most.

Don't post anything on facebook, you'll be playing into her hands.

Be a squeaky wheel until this is sorted. Demand a meeting with the head and find out what they are going to do, not to monitor the situation, but to make it stop - I'd want the bloody cow and her cohorts expelled if this was my dd.

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LEMisdisappointed · 11/05/2013 09:39

Shock I cannot believe the teacher made that person delete the phone footage - that is so out of order i can't put it into words, that was evidence. He should have confiscated the phone and handed it over to the police. But the boy is the ds of a teacher - im sorry, but this is so wrong :(

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