...to tell my dog he's a stupid bl**dy animal???

(36 Posts)
badbride Wed 08-May-13 10:28:22

So, my mostly adorable little terrier has started eating random stuff while out on walks. First of all it was sticks, FGS. He'd have a good old nosh on them, then come home and yak up all the bits. On the stair carpet rather than the kitchen floor tiles, of course.

Trying to distract Dog with treats simply led to Dog learning to keep grabbing sticks and looking at me in a most insolent manner until I gave him more treats. Eventually solved the problem by running dementedly at Dog, bellowing "No!", sending him scuttling away from sticks (and me scaring small children).

Dog has now decided to eat grass. Dog is now serving up undigested foliage in a bile sauce where you are most likely to accidentally stand in it barefoot. Have tried offering dog water on his walks in case his grass-eating is caused by thirst. Dog doesn't want to know.

Came downstairs this morning to find Dog wearing his sad face because he had a 4-inch blade of grass poking out of his bumhole, which I then had to extract. Told Dog that he is a stupid bl**dy animal. DH says AIBU. Am I?

And if anyone has any ideas as to how to stop the idiotic beast from gobbling grass, I'd be very grateful.

theodorakisses Wed 08-May-13 12:08:30

Yes, Worral Mn Pitbull is a foster named by MN who at 10 weeks was thrown from a car window in Qatar with his ears and tail hacked off. He eats anything and everything (including old boy's tail) but I suppose you would after that start

mouseymummy Wed 08-May-13 12:27:06

I once had a major panic on with my outside dog, thought he had a really bad case of worms... Turned out the next door neighbours kids had been feeding him wipes and other very tasty things... They got a shock one day, we found a lovely bull mastiff wandering round the estate so we brought big dog in and put the random dog in the pen... The kids came round to feed ours and got barked at! They never did it again!!

badbride Wed 08-May-13 12:29:39

OMG, theodora! Poor, poor puppy! How can people do such things? At least he's found a loving home now, though. Even so, the thought of what he must have gone through makes me sad and very angry

Still, am cheered up somewhat by the mental image of Manda pulling everlasting string out of her pooch's bum, while shouting "STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!!!" grin

francesdrake Wed 08-May-13 12:38:52

although to answer your original question, YANBU to tell your dog he's a monstrous pain in the arse. I frequently tell my dog she's a terrible drama farmer, the laziest hound ever, the bane of my life and the most beautiful dog in the world choochie paws slobber face and she seems to take it on the chin(s).

theodorakisses Wed 08-May-13 12:39:00

Worral really likes wires, especially iPhone chargers. I am lucky not to be divorced and childless...and kittengirl especially likes homework, maybe because we found her at the school and she likes the smell but a bit embarrassing for headmaster husband who has to explain to the teachers why there are punctures in the diary...

Manda472 Wed 08-May-13 12:39:16

Haha bad bride. I never pulled anything out his bum again after that, just let nature take its course from now on wink

theodorakisses Wed 08-May-13 12:39:29

and don't worry, Worral has a stick on tail and ears thanks to year 3

ToupOfRegDwight Wed 08-May-13 12:46:41

My dog ate grass when he wasn't feeling too well. He also ate hair, string that was cut off of meat and a plastic bag once. I miss the daft bugger.

badbride Wed 08-May-13 13:11:10

Love the idea of the accessory ears and tail -- does Worral have different sets according to the season" smile

Am glad Bad Dog isn't the only one who destroys things/ requires bum archaeology (excavation to reveal what has been eaten in the past). The eating side of things is new for him though: usually he only shreds the post/ shoes/ socks/ tax returns without actually swallowing them.

WHY??? though? Surely iPhone chargers/ gloves/ sticks can't taste nice?

MummyPig24 Wed 08-May-13 17:11:50

I don't think dogs can have taste buds judging by the things they eat! My in laws dog will eat anything he can get his chops on, mobile phones, remote controls, bras, sanitary pads <boak>

dayshiftdoris Wed 08-May-13 17:40:28

Mine eats cat poo... it can't resist it... then it is terribly guilty as it knows it's wrong (she especially likes to snaffle fresh from the litter tray, leave a trail of litter, eat half and leave half on the rug).... commonly I don't catch her she just looks so wretched and shakes that I all I need to say is 'What have you done??' and she goes to her bed giving me the eyes...

(BTW she shakes at the brush, the hoover, the wind in the trees, raised voices, the washing machine yet chases cats, birds, tracks rabbits and squirrels, disappears over steep banks... terriers - I'll never understand them!)

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