To be annoyed at DS teacher for missing taking time off for this?

(191 Posts)
Seriouslyirritatednechanger Tue 07-May-13 19:06:50

My eldest DS is at a notoriously crappy school as it is, I have tried to move him at various points throughout secondary to no avail. One of his teachers is guardian to a child in his year. As a result we have had restricted parents evening times available meaning my dh could not attend with me because she wanted to see her child's teachers on the same night hmm, the child frequently behaves badly and on some occasions the teacher has missed the start of DS lesson to be called in by the head when he deals with bad behaviour. The teacher has missed several lessons to take her child to appointments this term already and it is gcse so DS needs the teacher to revise with. This teacher is the only one for the subject in the school so cover teachers can't teach them. The teacher has refused to give DS extra revision sessions even though it is a subject he really struggles with and he did badly in his controlled assessments so needs a miracle to do well overall. No doubt the teacher will be giving her child extra help outside school but because I do not teach the subject or at all this is not an option for my child. I thought teachers were not meant to miss school time as they have short days and all the holidays to have appointments etc so I don't understand why she cannot do this like any other teacher. Others of DS teachers have children and this does not happen half as often. I feel like she is putting a child she looks after over my son and the importance of gcses for the whole class hmm

changeforthebetter Fri 10-May-13 18:23:54

Do you mean revision sessions or spoon-feeding of exam style answers? Oh and do fuck of to the far side of fuck with your "short days" - or, as I teach French "Fous le camp!" angry

Skinnywhippet Fri 10-May-13 18:12:17

Gosh OP. It's rare that I get pissed off with a post, but you've gone and done it. Could you please clarify exactly how many lessons have been missed? You have been a bit vague.

I don't like the way that you are blaming the school for your son being weak at this subject : you say it's a crap school, you say he was pushed into it and didn't really want to do it, you blame the teacher's absence.

Hulababy Fri 10-May-13 17:33:30

I did leave teaching as a profession. I was a secondary school teacher for 10+ years. I left when it all got too much. Me leaving was well covered on MN as it took a fair while to gather myself up enough to do it. It was a low time for me.
I went to work in an adult male prison. It was a more pleasant experience at the time!
I do now work in schools again. I am working as a HLTA in an infant school and it is a much more pleasant experience. I am considering moving into primary school teaching - the paperwork side of things is holding me back at the moment, well that and waiting until DD is out of primary herself - I don't want to miss too many of her assemblies and shows, etc which happen more frequently in primary years.

catnipkitty Fri 10-May-13 16:00:16

FAO ubik

Section 7 of the Education Act 1996 applies to England and Wales:

Compulsory education

7: Duty of parents to secure education of children of compulsory school age

The parent of every child of compulsory school age shall cause him to receive efficient full-time education suitable—

a: to his age, ability and aptitude, and

b: to any special educational needs he may have,

either by regular attendance at school or otherwise.

It is a parent's duty to make sure their child is receiving an education, which in this case would be taking things further with the school. You can't just put your child in school and assume they'll have everything sorted.

Iggi101 Fri 10-May-13 11:41:27

Shesparkles, Rowlers was mirroring a comment that had already been made (ie your comment).

LaQueen Thu 09-May-13 17:34:33

Choceyes what you describe as your DH's experience of teaching sounds very similar to that experienced by the teachers in our family, and our 3 friends who also teach.

To them staying late only means until about 5.30pm - but, during those 2 hours after school finishes they can spend it marking/prepping...or, they can come straight home at 3.45pm, and do their marking/prepping from home.

They rarely work into the evenings (i.e. after 6pm), and rarely work at weekends.

I think they're all pretty good at their jobs, and work at schools with good Ofsteds, and get very good exam results...maybe they're just superslick at their jobs?

Shesparkles Thu 09-May-13 16:27:52

In the same way that teachers are free to leave the profession if it's as bad as all that.

I freely admit I couldn't do a schoolteacher's job, however I don't see many teachers being able to do mine.

Rowlers Wed 08-May-13 22:28:39

I think non-teachers need to remember they are free to enter the profession if they so wish, if teaching really is that easy.

PosyNarker Wed 08-May-13 21:23:09

Some of the comments on this thread are awful. Do you really think teachers have a huge influence on when they can schedule appointments with other professionals?

I have a managerial job with flexibility. I earn a good living. Did this make any difference when I was on a waiting list for a basic procedure and spent 6 months unable to be certified for travel (an integral part of my work)? No it did not. Was I shitting a brick because I kept taking attacks in the office & could only go places by train? Yes, I was.

Now clearly my colleagues / employers are not your child, but sometimes even the hardest working of professionals have to take time out for legitimate reasons. I would say the school is at fault for not having a strategy in place for that individual. (Does she get called for example because she is on site, but her DH / DP might actually be the more appropriate contact?)

riskit4abiskit Wed 08-May-13 21:03:15

It is obvious to me OP, that your child is bone idle and has been so for the two years of the course. You are trying to excuse their attitude and behavior by blaming the teacher, this is not a good work ethic to be modelling for your child.
It is ridiculous to even think of complaining this late in the day. The point of getting a good gcse grade is that it requires independent study, or else everyone would get a good grade.
I really hope the poor teacher doesn't see your post, she would be mortified yo be criticised on the internet when she is obviously having a hard time of it.

TenaciousOne Wed 08-May-13 20:36:02

I think teachers need to remember that they are free to leave that profession if they so wish, and retrain/start another profession of their choosing, if teaching really is that bad....

Most of the decent ones are...

Also, you aren't reading what the teachers are saying. They aren't saying it's terrible, they are dealing with misconceptions which are teachers work short days and have long holidays. Of all of my friends who are teachers, most are in school most of the holidays.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Wed 08-May-13 20:31:30

I think teachers need to remember that they are free to leave that profession if they so wish, and retrain/start another profession of their choosing, if teaching really is that bad....

Don't worry. Lots and lots are.

sarahtigh Wed 08-May-13 20:24:29

with my appointment book; your flexibility on appointment time affects availability of the next appointment

if you can only come after 4pm on friday 2nd week in june,
after 4pm anyday 30th may
9am appointment 20th may
anytime between 10.30 and 2pm 13th may

so the difference between those that can come at a drop if a hat compared to those you can only make after school is 2.5 weeks minimum

obviously real emergencies can be fitted in earlier but that is how it is for routine appointments

MrsMangelFanciedPaulRobinson Wed 08-May-13 20:20:02

I think teachers need to remember that they are free to leave that profession if they so wish, and retrain/start another profession of their choosing, if teaching really is that bad....

I agree with everything LaQueen has said.

Iggi101 Wed 08-May-13 20:03:19

Yabu.
Loving the idea that all appointments can be made at a time to suit your employer - I'll tell that to speech therapists, paediatricians and educational psychologists, shall I.

lljkk Wed 08-May-13 19:49:26

YADNBU.
Only consolations I can offer:

1) EBACC is not that important, seriously, neither is having a GCSE in language (helpful, wonderful if you enjoy languages, but not essential).

2) I pity the poor teacher who has a lot on their plate with this ward, I would be grateful for not having their problems.

exoticfruits Wed 08-May-13 18:58:45

They definitely don't finish at 3.30pm - which OP seemed to think.

Hulababy Wed 08-May-13 18:33:40

LaQueen - noone is really saying that teachers are doing longer hours than other professions. They are just saying that they do not have short days. Which, ime, they do not.

landofsoapandglory Wed 08-May-13 11:17:05

Plinkyplonks, you are very lucky then.

Ubik if it was my DC I would be fed up I admit. I wouldn't have let it get to this point of the year, I would have taken it up with the HT by Feb half term at the latest.

plinkyplonks Wed 08-May-13 10:45:13

ubik - the teacher didn't miss parents evening, they weren't there for the whole night, which the parents were told in advance about.

RE appointment time - exactly right, that's why I think the teacher would have had to have given an extremely compelling reason to miss classes on a regular basis.

A relative of mine had to take 3 x 1 days off in a 6 months period due to her DC becoming ill and needing appointment time, one time her DC needed to go to A&E - and she still got pulled up and given a formal warning!? I can't stress enough that taking time off is a strict business for teachers, especially around GCSE time. It's not in the school's interest to have your child fail their GCSE's is it?

Doctors/dentists/ etc all work in NWH - when teachers are obviously working. This is not a new revelation - the school should have made provisions for someone else to be able to cover the classes adequately in the teacher's absence.

But again we are not in full possession of the facts here, so it's unfair of the parent to make presumptions. If she has concerns, talking to the school about any further support they could provide to her DC would be the next step.

ubik Wed 08-May-13 10:32:26

But if it was your child wouldn't you be a bit fed up? GCSE year? Not there for parent's evening? Not even a teensy weensy bit fed up?

I'm NHS and can tell you now that one appt would be fine but after that they would be asking why did/relative couldn't go to the meeting.

SlingsAndArrows Wed 08-May-13 10:25:50

^^

Exactly.

plinkyplonks Wed 08-May-13 10:17:02

landofsoapandglory - "if you have time off for appointments you have to make it up or take leave." This has never been the case for me in any of the sectors I've worked in the few years. Providing you are not taking the piss and these appointments that need to be booked in working time, appointment time is appointment time - fully paid and doesn't have to be worked back.

Presumably the school is in full possession of the facts unlike the parent posting on here. It's not for us to judge whether the teacher's time off is justified, that is the role of the school. Getting time off from work as a teacher can be incredibly hard and subject to scrutiny unlike any I have had to endure in my own profession.

Another thing... if someone had posted on AIBU staying their employer was being difficult about you taking time off for appointment time for your child, would you think that is a right and fair thing to do?

Just because a person has chosen to become a teacher, does not mean their lives are 'owned' by the parents, that they have no right to a personal and private life, that they have no right to have children and commitments outside of work..

It sounds like the OP is unhappy because the teacher didn't organise her life around her - how dare not provide extra lessons to her DC, how dare she not organise parents evening times around her and her husband's plan, how dare the teacher have an imperfect child that has behavioural issues..

And I am meant to believe it is the TEACHER that has the problem?

Seriously, any behavioural issues need to be brought up with the school, not on MN. Any requests for extra help need to put into the school, if they can't help pay for a tutor for your DC. It's absolutely non of your business what the teacher does outside of school, "No doubt the teacher will be giving her child extra help outside school" just smacks of jealousy. I can tell you the friends I have who are teachers would LOVE to spend hours giving their children extra lessons, but they spend so long planning, admin work, marking they actually have VERY LITTLE time to spend with their DC's. They spend most of their life helping other people's children. A fact that the OP is seemingly oblivious too.

coralanne Wed 08-May-13 10:07:44

I understand what you mean but if the appointment is important (which I guess most of them are) then it would be a very poor workplace that wouldn't allow someone to make a 3.30 or 4.pm appointment.

If it was happening a lot then it would understandably be frowned upon .

It really sounds as though the OP has cause for complaint. It sounds as though the school is at fault because their first priority should be the students.

They are also not handling the teacher's dilemma very professionally .

SlingsAndArrows Wed 08-May-13 09:58:49

Yes, Coralanne, but you also said this:

"the fact remains, teachers do have short days."

So I'm still not clear how a contracted 8 til 5.30 day is "short" in comparison with other professions.

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