to be slightly shocked when my MIL advised adding juice to my 3mo's water so he'll drink it?

(127 Posts)
poppyandthelion Fri 03-May-13 23:27:58

Hi, this is my first post!

I see my MIL every 3-4 weeks for an hour or 2 with my DS. This week at the visit I mentioned I have been trying to give him water but he's not really been interested. Her advice was to add juice to it..! He's 3 months old!

Also on a visit about a month ago she said that it wouldn't be long until I could give him rusks and prob from about 3 months. I said I'd be trying to not wean him until 6 months if I can but she thought that was silly and he could go much sooner.

These are not my main concerns as he's my DS and I'll be the one feeding him etc. For now.

When I go back to work we will have to have MIL looking after him 1 day a week and I'm slightly concerned as to what she'll feed him or give him to drink even with my instruction. My DP says he's turned out fine and all GM's spoil there GKs.

AIBU??

2rebecca Sun 05-May-13 09:02:50

If your baby is constipated you could try changing formula brands. Hungry baby milk is more prone to constipation than ordinary formula and unnecessary for most babies, just give them more frequent feeds if they're not gaining weight.
For constipation I'd use a small amount of diluted orange juice (not squash) if changing formula doesn't help.
I used childminders and yes I did give them fairly free reign on what they fed my kids as long as they weren't poisoning them. Wheat before 6 months was a definite no though, although both mine were in the wean at 4 months era and my oldest would have struggled waiting until 6 months as he had alot of reflux and some food (baby rice, fruit purees, mashed banana) instantly sorted it.
My inlaws brought up healthy children so I'd have just not wanted to hear too much detail if they'd been looking after the kids. If they'd raised obese kids who won't eat anything but chips and spagghetti hoops they wouldn't have been child minding my kids, but then I wouldn't have been married to their son.

CheungFun Sun 05-May-13 08:31:33

I must say I was hugely relieved when it turned out that my pil would not be looking after DS one day a week. Honestly, paying a professional is a million times more preferable to me than having said pil ignoring my instructions and criticising every tiny thing I do. Having said that I realise not all in laws are the same!

I'd suggest a trial run with your mil looking after your baby and see how you both get on, she might find it's too much hard work, you might find a way to communicate better with her with regards to your wishes on weaning etc.

Lovelygoldboots Sun 05-May-13 08:19:05

I'll never forget my dad sitting next to my DD now 10 when she was four months attempting to give her a bowl of ice cream. Cue me running across the lounge shouting noooo (its all slow motion in my head). I was horrified, but bless him he was fine about it and my pfbness grin. He didn't try to feed her again and my mum told him off for not checking with me first.

CecilyP Sun 05-May-13 07:18:02

during and after world war 2 babies were issued with concentrated orange juice as well as codliver oil and it is a fact that people in general had a healthier and more nutricious diet then than today.

And had more rotten milk teeth. Concentrated orange juice was provided free to all children regardless of income until 1971. I think if we tried it today, compared to the orange juice we now buy from the supermarket, we would be horrified at just how sweet it was.

CecilyP Sun 05-May-13 07:09:20

^"The natural sugar in fruit juice is just as bad for teeth as refined sugar in squashes and both are especially bad if sucked through a teat which is what I would imagine a 3 month old would be doing."

I don't think many babies of three months old have any teeth. DD's first tooth appeared the day after her first birthday.^

I realised that after I wrote it, but if it is a habit that is started at 3 month, it is not likely that it will be stopped as soon as baby has teeth. DS had his first teeth at 5 months which I think is fairly common.

seeker Sun 05-May-13 07:01:29

" I've seen so many changes over my 4 children that i take it with a pinch of salt now "

What sort of changes?

jacks365 Sun 05-May-13 00:55:46

Dd1 was born in 94 and advice was 4 months, dd2 was born 95 and advice was changed to not before 6 months. Dd4 was born 2011 and still 6 months though she started blw by grabbing food at 4 months. I've seen so many changes over my 4 children that i take it with a pinch of salt now but i don't give cordial and with regards to the person who said teeth aren't an issue my dd4 cut her first two teeth at 16 weeks.

Guidelines change all the time and we keep learning new things. Read lots and keep reading, think what feels right for you and go with your gut.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 05-May-13 00:38:59

I've got more than 3 and I wouldn't give such a tiny baby squash and all my red books from 1996 to 2003 say 4-6 months as a start for weaning

foreverondiet Sat 04-May-13 23:38:38

Babies don't need water unless its v hot.....

My DC never wanted to drink water, if I wanted them to have more fluids (ie on holiday in 35-40c heat) had to add a little apple juice (ie pure fruit juice DEF would never give sugar free juice to baby - someone mentioned this - shock) to water or water down formula a bit (would only do this if v v hot). Breast fed babies don't need water at all - in hot weather they will take more breast milk.

So don't think shocking to give juice to 3 month old BUT imo to OP's concern, better to pay for childminder nursery etc as can't give instructions to GPs who are looking after baby for free.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm Sat 04-May-13 23:25:00

By the time you've had your third, OP.......grin

treesntrees Sat 04-May-13 23:13:53

during and after world war 2 babies were issued with concentrated orange juice as well as codliver oil and it is a fact that people in general had a healthier and more nutricious diet then than today.

fleecypjs Sat 04-May-13 22:37:29

I have 2 sets of in laws providing childcare for 2 days per week each. I am very grateful. Concessions do have to be made though. My 11 month old is being given milky bars and occasionally having no naps at one set of grandparents. However the balance is that they adore him and do fun things with him like take him swimming. I am hoping things will settle down and i try to provide some gentle advice re napping and more than enough healthy snacks. It is not easy though, but is any childcare arrangement 100% perfect all the time?

Bunbaker Sat 04-May-13 18:47:25

"The natural sugar in fruit juice is just as bad for teeth as refined sugar in squashes and both are especially bad if sucked through a teat which is what I would imagine a 3 month old would be doing."

I don't think many babies of three months old have any teeth. DD's first tooth appeared the day after her first birthday.

BlahBlahBlahhh Sat 04-May-13 18:40:03

Thanks Wuldric, meant, is baby PFB ? I'm assuming so...sounds like a classic case ! smile

digerd Sat 04-May-13 18:22:06

My SIL was 65 when her DD gave birth for the second time, and she had to do the childcare full-time when GDD was 8 months old.
She was given strict instructions about everything. No feeding on demand but dead on the dot of the regular times stated, feeding and the sleeping. The previous GC was 14.

Now GDD is 7 and SIL is picking her up and returning her to school for freshly cooked lunch-time dinners home cooked by her.

I have a feeling soon, GDD will want to stay at school with her friends to enjoy the lunch-time break, instead of going home with SIL.

And yes we did give our 3 months old babies rosehip syrup diluted in water, as rich in vit C, but then worries emerged about it rotting their baby teeth. Also Codliver oil and malt was a supplement, which I was addicted to and also ate loads of it. blush

Wuldric Sat 04-May-13 18:05:46

PFB = precious first born

BlahBlahBlahhh Sat 04-May-13 16:09:16

PFB ? grin

ohforfoxsake Sat 04-May-13 14:56:15

I think being shocked, even slightly, by the suggestion alone is a bit of an over reaction. Then again I was pretty horrified when DM gave DS1 his first taste of chocolate at 3 months - as he sucked on a cream egg. hmm

Flobbadobs Sat 04-May-13 14:30:17

Bigger issues. Not tissues blush

Flobbadobs Sat 04-May-13 14:29:52

I have DS's red book from 2000, guidlines are weaning from 4-6 months smile.
OP the juice thing really isn't huge in the grand scheme of things but they can and probably will lead to much bigger tissues in the future if a bit of juice is going to shock you. I would look at nursery or childminder.
A good nursery will have staff who will care about your child. Despite the negative press nursery nurses get (under educated, uncaring etc) it is actually very hard to make a career out of childcare unless you actually like children!
YABU and a little pfb but. A previous poster said, we've all been there.

Restorer Sat 04-May-13 14:03:10

Seeker. I have my red book too grin From Ds2 born 2003 and it states " From about four months of age your baby may be ready to commence taking solid foods" I just checked!

So maybe, things don't only change with time, but there are regional variations too.

janey68 Sat 04-May-13 13:55:01

It doesn't really matter how often things change (although I'm darn sure a lot will have changed in the 30 or so years since the MIL had babies!)
The point is: apart from major things like using car seats and laying babies on their back, there are many aspects of childcare which are not life or death and if you are going to expect someone else to look after your child as a favour then it really doesn't make sense to nit pick over every little thing.
Looking after a baby or young child for whole days at a time is bloody hard going- it can be draining and isolating as well as rewarding. The chances are that someone doing it as a favour will cut corners now and again. This may be in various ways- too much tv, a biscuit now and then to divert a tantrum... At the end of the day parents need to weigh up the deal. If you want greater control, find regulated childcare which you're happy with.

Cloverer Sat 04-May-13 13:50:38

Weaning guidelines were introduced in the 1970s (4 months).

In 1994 they were revised to 4-6 months

In 2003 they were revised to 6 months

Not a huge amount of changed imo.

Personally I would avoid water or juice for a 3 month old.

seeker Sat 04-May-13 13:49:41

Well, the red book says "can begin to take solids between 4-6 months" but the WHO guidelines were 6 months.

seeker Sat 04-May-13 13:47:10

No it wasn't! Honestly- I've got my red book to prove it.

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