parking trouble - thought man was going to attack me - long

(136 Posts)
tripecity Tue 30-Apr-13 14:01:48

yes, yes, another blue badge themed thread, sorry, but I am really shaken up and not sure what to do.

This morning I drove to drop DD1 at nursery, which has double yellow lines outside. The road is quite narrow, and theres a driveway opposite, so no one parks opposite the drive so the owner can get in and out. A few parents park on the double yellows illegally to drop their kids off; I have a blue badge, so can park there.
When I got there a car had parked up just past opposite the driveway and I wanted to park in front of him, but he had only left a small space, so I did a 50 point parking manoever to get in. All the while the man sat in his car watching me and knowing I was having trouble because he was parked a foot too far forwards which would have made all the difference.

When I was parked, he opened his car door and started shouting at me that I had bumped his car twice whilst trying to park. Now I didnt feel any bumps, but accept he had no reason the lie, but this could have been avoided if he had moved a foot further back instead of choosing instead to watch me struggle. In fact had he not been parking illegally this situation would never have happened.

So I apologised unreservedly and he slammed the car door shut and cut me off, so I told him(loudly so he could hear me through the glass) he shouldnt be there anyway, he said neither should I, so I told him I had a blue badge and he didnt, so actually I could.
He then got out of the car and started shouting at me, waving his arms about, all red in the face and furious. I was worried he was going to attack me, seriously, he had lost it.

Now all this was infront of the other waiting parents, so I was really embarrest. Then even worse, when I got into the nursery, I was so shaken I burst into tears, a lot of people saw and I wanted to ground to swallow me up.

So, AIBU to be cross about this incident? I realise I must have touched his car when I was trying to park, but in my defence he shouldnt have been parked there and he wouldnt accept my apology. And AIBU to wonder how on earth I can go back day after day and face this man? It was all fluffy and lovely there and now this incident has put a really nasty taste in my mouth

ReluctantlyBeingYoniMassaged Wed 01-May-13 19:38:16

He shouldn't have been parked there. He shouldn't have been so aggressive.

BUT you shouldn't have tried to park there if the space was too small.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 01-May-13 19:35:02

HoHoHoNoYouDon't
"Personally I wouldn't have give a shit about hitting his car. He was parked illegally and made it difficult for you to park where you ARE allowed to legally. I hate people like him, they think they own the f**kin road!"

If you hit a stationary car -however they are parked- you are at fault.

Pendeen Wed 01-May-13 16:02:43

"Personally I wouldn't have give a shit about hitting his car"

I sincerely hope that is a joke, or if not then that you do not drive.

NaturalBaby Wed 01-May-13 14:09:38

If there was no damage to his car or yours then he has no proof your car touched his at all.
He was being an idiot, hold your head up high in the knowledge that you did the right thing and he lost the plot in a childish manner in front of an audience.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 01-May-13 14:05:11

it's true, if he also had a badge then he'd be entitled to use the space. still a bit arsey of him not to back up a bit, especially after the first time she SMASHED into his car. grin

sobored2013 Wed 01-May-13 12:45:34

it doesnt excuse bad manners of either party.
she was trying to get into a gap she even says she was struggling to use as it was too small.
when he complained and got back into his car the OP carried on the argument.
and when the op pulled up she wouldnt have been able to see if he had a bb before she got out the car, so he would also not have had been able to see hers, he may have thought as she did, that the other was taking the piss and making like difficult for a bb holder.
he should not have shouted.
but she is also not totally innocent.

K8Middleton Wed 01-May-13 12:45:07

What if he was a Martian just come to Earth and was unaware of the High Way Code?
What if he had just been through a very difficult break up?
What if he used to be a woman?
What if he had mental health issues?
What if he is two thirds silicon?

Honestly does it matter? It doesn't excuse the behaviour. Also, since when do we not take an op at face value? I get really annoyed with all of the "but what if" posts that add nothing to an upset op. Wannabe fucking Columbos.

That still doesn't excuse bad manners (ie. not shunting backwards to help the OP get into the parking space), and it certainly doesn't excuse his aggressive and threatening behaviour towards her.

Plus, I assume if he had had a blue badge on display, the OP would have said so, and if he didn't, I suspect he might have been in the wrong, because you are supposed to display your blue badge if you are parking somewhere using your blue badge entitlement.

saintmerryweather Wed 01-May-13 12:29:41

Actually someone made a good point, what if the man was disabled himself and was actually allowed to park there?

Fillyjonk75 Wed 01-May-13 11:20:11

This man was being an arse and itching for a fight

So much so. I bet he was thinking about what he was going to say and working himself into a lather all the time the OP was parking.

unobtanium Wed 01-May-13 11:11:49

This man was being an arse and itching for a fight. Where I live people bump each other all the time, usually very cheerfully -- when you park you leave your handbrake off so others can nudge your car backwards or forwards as necessary.

Unbelievably precious (about his car) and aggressive, that man. I hope you don't see him again but if you do, do call 101 at the first hint of trouble!

If you touched him at all (and that's debatable), it was the lightest of nudges. REALLY!

A few thoughts. Firstly, if someone was having trouble parking due to where my car was parked (whether or not I was parked legally) I would move my car to make it easier for them (as long as I was left enough space to get out of my parking space). If they bumped my car, I might toot the horn to bring it to their attention, or get out and offer to help see them into the space.

Secondly, the OP accepted that she bumped the car, but didn't actually feel any bumps, so I would assume these were pretty light taps, not full-on thumps, if you see what I mean. And it seems a bit mean to accuse her of bad driving when she didn't notice any bumps when parking - after all, the man could be lying, and if he wasn't, but she genuinely didn't notice bumping his car, then it is hard to see what she could have done about it - you can't avoid doing something, if you don't know you are doing it in the first place.

Thirdly, I would call the police about his aggressive behaviour - as far as I am concerned, it doesn't matter if he was a blue badge holder, or illegally parked, or even if she did actually bump his car - his response was aggressive and threatening, and that is not OK - it is illegal.

To put it in context, we were rear ended once, whilst driving on the A1 - a car towing an unbraked, overloaded trailer crashed into the car behind us in the queue at a roundabout, and shunted it into us - doing quite a lot of damage to our car, frightening us and the children, writing off two bikes, and completely arsing up our journey from Essex to our holiday in Scotland.

Dh and I did not get out of the car and threaten/abuse/get aggressive with the driver responsible, even though what happened to us was much worse than what happened to this driver's car. He behaved like a thug, and needs to be taught that you cannot behave like that towards other people - full stop.

Fillyjonk75 Wed 01-May-13 10:59:33

No excuse for road rage, even if they had done something stupid. My mum once touched the car in front (only accident in about 50 years of driving) when in slow moving traffic. The woman in the car in front got out and launched a tirade of swearing and abuse at my mum. It really isn't on when someone's reaction is far disproportionate to the original error.

SoupDragon Wed 01-May-13 10:57:33

I don't think a blue badge is handed out to people on the basis of being too fragile to deal with a driver who is irate at having had his car driven into.

SacreBlue Wed 01-May-13 10:51:34

Two streets over from me Housewife and frankly she isn't the only really rubbish driver/parker in the area which is highly annoying since the area is saturated with cars.

Aitch valid point from sobored and also I'm wondering where the rule is that says everyone with a physical disability is necessarily more vulnerable than others? They aren't a homogenous group and a couple I've had to deal with in my last job were utter bitches who were more than capable of standing up for themselves - including getting physical

Obvs not saying OP is a bitch - just pointing out that a blue badge wouldn't exclude her from being one if she was so inclined smile

sobored2013 Wed 01-May-13 10:35:19

how could be the op be so sure that the male driver didnt also hold a blue badge and therefore have valid 'excuse' for being there?
could explain why he was also parked on double yellows, and why it could have taken him a while to get out of the car.
presumably as she drove up beside his car she didnt get out and check his car for a badge, she just assumed she was in the right and he was parked like a twunt.

LazyMonkeyButler Wed 01-May-13 10:30:31

Are there any marks on your bumper? Did you see any marks on his bumper? If not, it is unlikely you hit him at all and certainly not worth getting aggressive about.

At the end of the day, he was parked illegally & you were not. I suppose, with hindsight, the best thing to do would have been to ask him to move in the first place (as you had a right to be there & he was illegally preventing you from parking). Although, I suspect he would have had something potty-mouthed to say about that too hmm.

Totally agree with GladbagsGold though, if someone bumps your car you don't just sit there waiting for it to happen again! You either get straight out to check your car or reverse the hell away!

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 01-May-13 10:22:59

and re 'i'm a poor fragile woman' etc... the OP does hold a blue badge, so presumably she has more physical difficulties than the average female.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 01-May-13 10:21:55

people really need to stop being so mimsy about their cars, btw. they don't have a force-field round them... bumpers get bumped. it's kinda the point of them.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 01-May-13 10:21:11

by 'double line etiquette' do you mean the Highway Code?

LessMissAbs Wed 01-May-13 10:11:40

To be honest, if someone hit my car twice and then started shouting at me through my car window after I'd pointed it out to them, I'd probably have shouted back too. I have twice been hit by cars reversing when I was in the car, parked, and the driver was totally unaware.

He didn't attack you. If it was that bad, surely all the people at the --fluffy- nursery would have witnessed it and suggested you call the police.

I have no idea why someone parking once on your bit of the double yellow lines should cause you quite so much angst. Probably he had never been there before, and wasn't fully au fait with the double line etiquette. And since he was still in the car, he wasn't really parked in the sense that you couldn't have asked him to move the car. Since he was sitting in it and all.

Being a woman doesn't make you immune to people getting annoyed when you hit their cars.

Being a woman doesn't automatically mean that someone who shouts at you has committed an assault.

This sort of thread makes me embarrassed to be female, because its playing so blatantly on the "I'm a woman, I'm a poor fragile little creature that is easily hurt".

Of course if you had called the police, they wouldn't have progressed this if you had no witnesses, and they would have asked the other driver for his side of the story...

HousewifeFromHeaven Wed 01-May-13 08:43:57

sacre that is hilarious!!! I heard about it on jeremy vine yesterday but hadn't got round to it yet.

saintmerryweather Wed 01-May-13 07:58:29

Once you noticed that you couldnt park your car, why on earth didnt you just politely ask him to move his a bit? It wouldnt have killed you and he quite probably would have said 'oh yeah sorry' and moved it.

agree that you trying to get in and out of the space with a 50 point manoeuvre without even asking someone else to move is aggressive, like youre trying to make a point. And no, he shouldnt have been there but youre not a traffic warden

SacreBlue Wed 01-May-13 07:53:21

I agree with PP saying you could have just asked if he could pull forward or back. Blue badge or not if you can't park in a space without a 50point turn and bumping another car then you need to find another space.

Or find some really helpful students to lend a hand....

m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=tf4TIWECZ30&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dtf4TIWECZ30

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 01-May-13 07:49:22

There wasnt another. And she has a blue badge as presumably she cant walk far.

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