to think that 7pm is not "exceptionally early" bedtime

(167 Posts)

for a 5 yr old and 17m old.

A throw away remark from my friend the other day. We were chatting and I commented that my dd rarely sleeps past 6am, I hasten to add this was a comment not a complaint, as a household we have always got up around 6am asmy DH gets up for work at that time. My friend said "well they do go to bed exceptionally early" and it sounded quite judgey to me.
They go to bed at 7pm, the baby goes straight to sleep and DD sometimes reads in her bed for a bit but usually decides to turn the light out before 7.30, at weekends shes allowed up til 8. Any later and she gets tired and emotional and cant cope with school.

themaltesecat Tue 07-May-13 14:42:02

7pm seems very early to me. But then, I'm not English.

DeepPurple Mon 06-May-13 19:47:08

DD is 3.5 and goes to bed at 7.15 and wakes at 7.30. She only naps in the day if we happen to be in the car when she is especially tired.

Wishwehadgoneabroad Mon 06-May-13 19:38:42

7pm household here too.

Seems normal to me.

8-9pm does not seem normal to me!

My 2 and nearly 5 year old go bed at 7pm. Sometimes earlier if they are being difficult.

megsmouse Mon 06-May-13 19:34:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marjproops Mon 06-May-13 19:31:43

Its a bit cooler now, but DC and I have a few medical conditions and anything over literally 5 degrees feels like the sahara desert to us. and its only may-imagine later on!

DC came out in a heat rash today- again, its only May.

Bunbaker Mon 06-May-13 19:22:12

It isn't that hot. We have enjoyed temperatures of around 20 - 21 degrees today, but it has cooled down considerably now.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Mon 06-May-13 18:57:21

6 and 4 year old - upstairs by 7, in bed by 7.30, lights out by 8 at the latest. The hour includes bath, stories and a chat and lots of pissing about by the two of them

marjproops Mon 06-May-13 18:51:59

wish I could go to bed right now! heat exhausts me and DC, shes nearly zonked out, shell be going soon.

her BT is usually around 8pm-7am and she has 2 small sleeps during day if she can, wish i could go too.

Joiningthegang Sat 04-May-13 12:32:11

Mumsy - pleased for you that you have sleep entirely sorted then - well done

Mumsyblouse Sat 04-May-13 11:11:22

Weegiemum I am so tired sometimes that my 9 year old is awake (in bed) after me, I just go straight to bed after checking on her!

Weegiemum Sat 04-May-13 11:10:10

My youngest dc (dd2) is 9. It's only recently that her bedtime has moved to 8pm. She's up by 7 every day (has to get up by 7.15 anyway to leave for school at 7.55).

Make the most of the evenings. Now we have a teenager (eek dd1 is 13) her official bedtime is 9.30 but both dh and I are often in bed before she is!

Mumsyblouse Sat 04-May-13 11:06:31

A lot of people don't want to accept that if you put your children to bed at 7pm or even earlier, they will wake very early (having had their 10-12 hours). They said- oh but I tried putting them at 10 and they still woke at 4am. However, large swathes of european parents keep their children up late 10/11pm and they do not wake at 4am! Of course in time, they adjust their sleeping pattern, and ususally sleep til about 8/9am or later, or if they prefer have a 2 hour nap in the daytime.

I used to put mine to bed at 7pm when they were very little, but at least I was honest with myself that I wanted the evening to myself and wasn't mystified why they woke sometimes before 6am!

Bunbaker Sat 04-May-13 09:50:35

Good points marcopront. A friend of mine used to let her children stay up but it meant she she wasn't woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning. She said she used to go to toddler groups and saw women yawning their heads off because their little darlings had woken them up at 5.30, while she sat there feeling refreshed and wide awake because she had had a decent night's sleep and been allowed to sleep in until a sensible time of the morning.

Joiningthegang Sat 04-May-13 06:49:42

7 is the late end of bedtime for us

In an attempt to get a lie in it was 830 last night - they woke at 4am and 530am

Back to 6 tonight - if I have to get early the least we deserve is a small boy free evening

marcopront Sat 04-May-13 06:29:29

Surely what matters is the amount of sleep a child gets not the time when they get it.

A child who sleeps from 9pm to 7am gets as much sleep as a child who sleeps from 7pm to 5am. Another child might go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 5am but have an afternoon nap for two hours. They all get 10 hours sleep.

My daughter needs 10 hours sleep, so it suits my routine that she sleeps at 8:30 and gets up at 6:30. I can shower, and get lunches and bags ready in the morning before she wakes up.

Maybe rather than just saying what time your child goes to bed you should say what time they wake up as well.

My son (15 months) doesn't go to bed til 8.30-9pm. He doesn't get up til 8.30-9am. I leave for work at 8.15 til 6.30 so I'm quite glad he doesn't go to bed at 7 otherwise I forget what he looks like :-(

nailslikeknives Fri 03-May-13 22:10:23

7pm is what keeps me sane. 7.01pm is wine o'clock!

Gilberte Fri 03-May-13 21:22:18

"What do people do with "adult time" other than have sex or watch TV?
I'm not convinced that I'm missing out on either. "

It's the only time I can get on the computer without having two children insist on sitting on me and playing cbeebies games.

It's a time I can do the online shop or wash my hair or have a shower that lasts longer than 5 minutes.

It's the only time I can have a proper conversation with DH.

It's the only time I can eat an apple, chocolate, enjoy a cup of tea and cake without it being taken off me, sabotaged or interupted by a pooey nappy or child needing help in the toilet.

It's the only time I can prepare a packlunch without an audience/toddler wanting to help/ stick fingers in the butter etc

It's the only time I feel I'm not "on duty" or at work, or on the way to/from work/school.

I am very child centred in the day. When we are at home,I'm most often to be found sitting on the floor playing with dolls or drawing and colouring or breaking up fights.

I think if I were able to practise benign neglect then I might not mind my children being up till late.As it is I need a couple of hours for my sanity.

lljkk I iron, mop, watch Game of Thrones or other non-PG tv, or answer emails. I can't safely do any of that when the toddler is awake.

DogsAreEasierThanChildren Fri 03-May-13 14:48:15

lljkk, are you joking? I absolutely rely on my measly hour a day of adult time at home to have a coherent uninterrupted conversation with DH, or read uninterrupted, or just Get Stuff Done without a toddler wanting to "help".

For what it's worth, 7 would be exceptionally early in our house - DS just doesn't need as much sleep as the books say, and if he goes to bed at 7 he wants to get up at 4.45. 9 pm bedtime and 6.45 wake-up suits us all better!

lljkk Fri 03-May-13 14:14:55

What do people do with "adult time" other than have sex or watch TV?
I'm not convinced that I'm missing out on either. wink

Cloverer Fri 03-May-13 12:21:40

DS goes to bed at 8.30pm partly so we can all eat dinner together (important to us) and partly so we don't have to get up at 6am (very important to us!).

We still get adult time - we're both done and downstairs by 9pm and rarely go to bed before 11.30pm/midnight. But that works ok as we also rarely get out of bed before 7.30am/8am.

If we had to be up at 6am and were in bed at 10pm, maybe we'd want the evening to start earlier.

I've had the comments about "adult time" in real life too, but I'm quite happy for them to be around till mid evening (8.30-9). I don't normally go to bed till at least 11 so that's plenty of free time anyway, many of the people who make this comment are the ones that go to bed themselves by about 9.30, I can see the point for them. I've never had it said in a rude way, just more in a chat about how we all do things differently.

Jan49 Fri 03-May-13 10:21:17

I didn't feel the need for "adult time" but I think it might have been easier if the evening had been time off from childcare instead of having a child to look after til late.

My ds used to go to bed at 11pm when he was a baby/toddler, then gradually started going earlier, about 8.30-9pm once he was at school. I liked the way he could go to events like weddings with us when he was very little and enjoy the evening, whereas lots of other people would be putting their kids to bed. I found it annoying that other people would complain that their kids were up at 5 or 6am but were putting their kids to bed at 7pm. They seemed to want evenings off from their children but also wanted their kids to sleep later, nothing to do with children needing sleep and all about the parents wanting a break. My ds did actually start off going to bed at 7.30pm but was ready to start the next day at 4am so we encouraged him to stay up later in order to sleep later. We often came across people who disapproved of his late bedtimes and seemed to think children should be in bed at 7/8pm because parents should have the evening childfree.

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