To be totally fed up ... No wedding dress 4 weeks before big day.

(93 Posts)

My wedding dress was being made by a friend who is a professional dressmaker, She offered to make it as a wedding present, I didn't ask her as I know she can be a bit flaky but was grateful as she is fab and said I would pay her as it was too much for a gift. Anyway we had a bit of a fall out over another issue and now shes not returning calls, even to let me know if shes still making it or not. I've had several fittings.
WWYD should I take it that I now have no frock, 4 weeks before the wedding and get my ass to BHS to buy a last minute number or wait a bit longer hoping she'll start being more communicative and risk schlepping down the aisle in my onesie with posh hair, make up, shoes, flowers and Jewellery.
I have already apologised even though it was definitely a six of one half a dozen of the other thing- and the row was about politics ffs so not a personal thing.
Right now I am feeling totally stressed with the whole situation, I suffer from depression and anxiety to start off with and am on medication for that. I'm not sleeping. I want to get the situation back under my control but feel like I'm slowly slipping again. WWYD?

plinkyplonks Sun 28-Apr-13 18:38:19

OP Sorry to here about the issues you've had with the dress sad Can't believe someone would do that to you sad

Go to some independent wedding shops, TKMaxx, Debenhams, Coast, Monsoon all have lovely wedding dresses. My sister's wedding dress was from Monsoon and it was absolutely beautiful! A month is plenty of time to find a beautiful dress ! Best of luck!

Bridgetbidet Sun 28-Apr-13 18:46:43

Coast has an absolutely beautiful occasion collection which can be worn as a wedding dress.

If money is an issue have you looked on Ebay, a friend of mine got her wedding dress of Ebay for about £100 and it was the most beautiful I have ever seen.

Bridgetbidet Sun 28-Apr-13 18:55:17

Incidentally what a cow. You should never, ever do something so unkind to ruin someone's big day like that. I think you have lucky escape this woman is out of your life!

toomuchtoask Sun 28-Apr-13 19:01:58

If you've had fittings who purchased the material? If you, I'd go and get it back!!

I second damsel in a dress, I was in there last week & they had some beautiful dresses!!!

ENorma
The row was about Mrs T! that bloody woman can still cause trouble from beyond the grave- would you believe it!
I can't uninvite her as her DH (who is lovely) is a childhood friend of my OH and they have been really close for 40+ years. I've known her for 15 years and we've always got on well.
Thanks for the suggestions ladies there are some fab frocks!! I'm a size 14 so Nothing v unusual.
OH is going to ring his friend tomorrow, just to ask what the score is- I'm not ringing as I don't want the row to be reignited.
I feel saner now I've seen all the available stuff.
She bought the fabric and if she doesn't finish the dress I'm not giving her a penny.

I'm sorry to hear of your predicament. I have a wedding dress wanting a new home. It's Alfred sung to fit a tall size 12 can be adjusted of course, I case you are a similar size. Free to a lady in need smile

Inbox me if you wish.

Bobyan Sun 28-Apr-13 20:36:48

I got mine from Monsoon, tried it on in the shop and then ordered it online so I got one that was nice and "fresh". £100 and 100% silk.

Don't know if you've ever seen the show don't tell the bride but they organise a whole wedding including dress in 3 Weeks. So you'll be fine. I see your dh is speaking to his mate tomorrow but I'd also send her a message saying that if you don't hear from her by tomorrow evening then you'll make other plans. You don't need this stress and actually I think there isn't anything you could have argued about mrs t that could possibly justify this response from her - if she felt that strongly she should just tell you that she is not doing it rather than just ignore you.

Actually I think I might actually tell her that given that she hasn't been in touch then you're making other plans regardless, because what's to stop her from pulling this stunt with a week to go?

I'd also be uninviting her - her dh can still come but unless the 2 of you can sort this out you don't want someone that spiteful there on your wedding day do you?

EuroShaggleton Sun 28-Apr-13 21:24:56

Some wedding dresses shops have lots of off the peg dresses to buy there and then. I recall when I was looking I found one in Eltham, South London, if that is anywhere near you? I also looked at Coast and Monsoon, and have a look at evening wear sections in big dept stores if you are not set on anything completely traditional.

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 21:32:06

Just wanted to say what a lovely offer pearls. You must be a very kind person.

Otherwise OP, sort your frock and move on!

MrsLettuce Sun 28-Apr-13 21:33:17

I'm up north, Manchester , the dress wasn't at all traditional. But at this stage so long as it fits and it's not a pineapple or a palm tree I'd settle for anything.

BumPotato Sun 28-Apr-13 21:40:24

You know, even if your "friend" does adjust her attitude and does want to finish the dress for you, I'd be tempted to tell her to go fuck herself.

Leaving you hanging on for a week so close to your wedding is crap.

Try your local wedding shops who at this time of the year may have sales and have dresses available off the peg. I used to work in a wedding dress shop and their was always a smalll selection available off the peg, for example, sample dresses. Oh and haggle. The mark up on wedding dresses is vast.

I must say it is a few years since I worked with wedding dresses but I'm shocked at the prices of the off the peg dresses from Monsoon/Coast etc. Shocked, I tell you! They used to be a cheaper alternative, obviously no longer the case.

MrsLettuce Sun 28-Apr-13 21:42:29

What BumPotato said^

WHat sort of dress would you like? Budget?

MrsLettuce Sun 28-Apr-13 21:45:29
jacks365 Sun 28-Apr-13 21:48:18

There is or at least was a wedding dress shop in todmorden just north of Manchester which has a fantastic choice of dresses mostly samples. I'll double check its still there for you tomorrow it may be worth a trip for you.

TheSecondComing Sun 28-Apr-13 21:51:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BumPotato Sun 28-Apr-13 21:54:55

shite there obv.

Thanks Pearls that is really kind xxx Mrs Lettuce a bit too dear for my purse x
My Bridesmaid is in Altrincham. I'll get there during the week X

Thank you so much ladies for all the fab advise and offers flowers wine for all. In fact come to the Hen do next weekend grin

Jellyhandsandfingers Sun 28-Apr-13 21:57:56

So sorry you have all this stress. I know a brilliant shop but it is down south called SWOON. It stands for sample, worn once or new. They literally have dresses in every size, loads of the,. I have got mine from there and it was one that someone had paid the deposit but never picked up so was in my size, in perfect condition. Anyway that store would be a hell of a trek for you but there must be one close that is similar. Maybe ask around or Google.

There are some lovely ones on the high street as well in the places that others have suggested. I hope you get it all sorted.

specialsubject Sun 28-Apr-13 22:07:34

send her a recorded delivery LETTER (remember those) saying that you don't want the dress and won't be paying for it.

go shopping. Get on ebay, etc etc. No reason for it to take months to get right, no other outfit does.

otherwise you risk ending up with two dresses, or no dress.

I found a dress that needed some alterations. The week before the wedding we went to try it on and it was awful. My mum and I walked out of the shop and looked at each other in close to despair but rallied and went back to a shop which had a sample dress in that I'd tried on previously. They still had it, was a good fit. Job done.

Don't panic OP.

TheSecondComing Sun 28-Apr-13 22:22:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Itchywoolyjumper Sun 28-Apr-13 22:28:06

If she's defriended you on FB (what a sign of the times) and isn't communicating in other ways I think I'd abandon her as dress maker. She must know how anxious this would make you, its quite a nasty thing to do.
I've just had a look and there's nearly 1700 wedding dresses on Ebay in your size under £100 available as a buy it now. You could have a gorgeous dress by the end of the week and still have plenty of time for fittings.

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