to ask how you plan to protect your children's inheritance

(243 Posts)
OrangeMabel Thu 25-Apr-13 14:19:56

DD only aged 10 but my main goal is to make sure she has a home for life; with us whilst she's young then a house for herself when she's an adult. So I eventually want to make provision to buy her a house that can't be touched to pay our care home fees, should we need them.

Anyone else got similar goals for their kids and, if so, how to you plan to achieve them?

PuggyMum Thu 02-May-13 15:46:02

Nothing wrong with that in theory. Its basically lending your kids money.

How you would enforce if they do not repay is the snag here. If they bought a house, you would need to take a charge over the property to have any legal power. Then if they don't repay you can enforce the charge but if you did that you're relationship would no doubt suffer!

You would need proper legal advice for this one. FIL lent us quite a sum and we repaid as planned. He lent BIL a small amount and is struggling to get the cash back. FIL doesn't want to look like a tight wad as BIL has a young family.... Its tricky.

I've seen families ripped apart by money.

Personally, if you can't afford to gift the money outright, I wouldn't do it.

Anything that gives you security will cost money in terms of legal fees an legal charges etc.... With the potential to cost a lot more in heartache.

CloudsAndTrees Thu 02-May-13 16:31:50

I've thought of the same thing Ken, but I think I have too many reservations to actually make it happen.

By the time I'm retired, I'd probably rely on the money or have to make sacrifices and I don't feel comfortable putting that sort of pressure on my own children. It would be awful if they couldn't or wouldn't pay for some reason, and it's not just them that you are relying on, it's whoever they choose as their partner too. What if they had children and split with their partner, and you end up in the position of having to put a charge on the house either they or your grandchildren live in?

I'd lo e to be able to just gift them at least a deposit for a one, but even then it could be lost to a partner.

It's a perfect plan in theory, but the reality has the potential to cause a lot of heartache.

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Thu 02-May-13 16:51:45

I think if you give the money you have to accept whatever they do with it is their decision. I think giving them enough for a deposit is fine but save the rest until they have their first birth and perhaps re-asses, leaving as much as you can afford to (without getting shafted by IT) for when you die. Most people get wiser with money with age, IME. I would hope that by the time I go DD will be settled in whatever way and know what to do with the inheritance to make full use of it.

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Thu 02-May-13 16:53:45

That way you are also covered personally if something extra (special nursing care etc) is needed.

aldiwhore Thu 02-May-13 17:10:15

At present I cannot plan to leave any inheritance. We have very little in the way of assets and spend what we have on what we need to with modest treats, family holidays and days out now.

My PIL scrimped and sacrificed to leave their children their home, MIL died, FIL has Alzheimer's, any inheritance goes on his care (rightly so) but I'm sad they missed out on so much to leave their children something they'd never ever actually get.

My own parents are doing well, both approaching 70, DF still working, almost mortgage free, they were winners in the boom years and losers in the bust years and always ALWAYS bounced back. I don't want their money, I want them to enjoy their life now.

I want my parents to be able pay for their care if they need it, and their funerals. Of course if they were rich enough I'd love them to leave me a fortune to set me up, for me to invest and grow... and I'd do the same for my children.

I wouldn't hoarde a lottery win, but I won't sacrifice a decent life together just so they can put a deposit on a house they could lose, our annual trip to Alton Towers or %interest on my dead value? For me it's a no brainer.

I am striving for balance. I want to creat wonderful memories for my children now. I'd like to pay for my own care and funeral. I'd like to leave them enough to buy a piano/car/holiday/PhD. I will not sacrifice the truly important things in life to leave my children a wad of cash. Sod that.

somewherewest Thu 02-May-13 19:15:17

Simple answer to the OP. No. We don't own. We may never own. Such is life for many people in our generation. And the grabby, entitled assumption that the state should step in and fund old age care for those who do own, so that they can pass their property on to their children (who have done nothing to earn it) irritates the tits off me.

I'm in a blunt mood this evening grin.

Theoretically I'm in line to inherit property, but I fully expect it to be sold to provide dignified care for my relatives in their old age. Anything that's left over will probably go on caring for the in-laws in their old age (they don't own any property). And I'm 100% fine with that. We're actually very fortunate that there's something to sell down the road. Lots of people don't have that.

cheerup Thu 02-May-13 19:32:57

Much as I hope to leave my children something, I don't see why many people with less than we have should fund my care (should I need it) so that my children can have an inheritance. Who do you think should pay for your care if not you and your family?

Personally I'm very much in the use what we have to create good memories now whilst not being reckless camp. We have frequent but modest family holidays and enjoy our time together. We are paying off a reasonable sized mortgage on a very average terraced house in the South East and hope to be mortgage free by retirement. If care home fees take the money from the house, I hope the children will still have fond memories of the times we spent together and we will have laid the foundation for them to have happy and successful (what ever that means to them) lives. It's not all about money and 'stuff is it?

BallerinaZeena Thu 02-May-13 19:38:02

Completely agree with what AThing said way up top!

Why should I pay your care home fees OP if you can afford to pay them?

Absolutely disgraceful.

BallerinaZeena Thu 02-May-13 19:40:43

And don't say you haven't said you wouldn't pay your care home fees if needed - your OP is explicitly clear that you are trying to avoid that and hide your money.

aldiwhore Thu 02-May-13 19:48:05

There's a 'hit parade' of needs in my life.

Saving for my own care in old age comes before leaving cash for my children.

It's the lesser burden.

FIL may well be gutted that his dream is dust, but he was never realistic, but he CAN pay for his care, and the government don't/won't take it all, he will still be able to leave a modest amount for his children to (hopefully not) squabble over.

At Number One right now, is "LIVE". Take that as you will.

Oh and your care will be funded if there is medical need for you to have it. FIL is quite at that stage yet, we just can't leave him alone, he has his house, he pays his way (or will, when dead and hosue sold).

I do have to say though that if you're fantastically wealthy, and have a loving family, you are a bit of a cunt if you leave every penny to the local cat's home, that's spiteful.

littlebillie Thu 02-May-13 19:50:12

SKI ing all the away (Spending Kids Inheritance)

Probably won't but put money every month into their Children's Trust Fund. It is doing quite well.

OrangeMabel Thu 02-May-13 20:25:00

Oh for heaven's sake read the thread before chucking insults around!

We're "making wonderful memories" with our DD. We hope to have a fulfilling retirement many years from now. I'd rather top myself than go into a care home but, if I don't get a choice in the matter, then we'll hopefully have money to pay for it. I want an amount ring-fenced for a home for my DD before I line the pockets of a care home owner. Hopefully, if this happens (and as somebody pointed out up thread, the majority of people don't end up in a home) there will be a change in the law that allows euthanasia for the very old and sick who've expressed a wish not to live under such circumstances.

PoohBearsHole Thu 02-May-13 21:00:27

Aldi, that's what my grandmother did as she didn't want my dads children to get her "money" so distressing for my mum. Even her jewellery was sold and although my df tried to buy some back for my dmum they were outbid. Although for that I blame her brothers and their thieving wives who even after I was born and my mum cared for them they ignored me and again left their inheritance to the dogs trust. Noble but a bit nasty. All because my dmum had the audacity t marry someone who was divorced. Oh the good old days, if she had put it in a trust then fine but my dmum missed out on an inheritance of memories too as it was all soured.

Disclaimer my dmum did get a small amount that she wisely invested, however the jewellery thing upset her, especially as she and df paid for gm care sad

FarBetterNow Thu 02-May-13 21:10:11

Mabel; So your daughter will have a house paid for by you, whilst other peoples' daughters will pay your care home fees?

Really?

Currently own 10 properties, 9 are multi let. We run them when needed, but they more or less look after themselves. Planning to have 20+ by the time ds is 18 (currently 20 months). He can either take over running the houses when we want it retire fully, or hire someone and go and do a 'proper' job if he wants to work. Up to him, but he will always have a property of his own, and we will all always have a salary.

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Thu 02-May-13 21:17:43

I hate the idea of care homes too. I plan to put enough aside to pay for a live in carer that way I can neck something deadly if I feel it is 'time'/can't eat chocolate hobnobs any more

Oh, and they will be under a business so they can't be taken off him when we die smile

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Thu 02-May-13 21:26:57

Choccy that sounds very similar to my long term plan! Our family (dad and I) own 3 houses outright now. Hoping to build some new houses so would need to be a very long term investment and with a building project of my own on the go already, I don't know if I can face another one in the next few years! I figure if I make the houses big/nice enough, just 3/4 should keep DD in a very nice income and she can then do with them what she wants.
DD is also 20mo! Property moguls ahoy!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now