Why is this bugging me? Am I just being a dick?

(199 Posts)
AnonAndOnAndOn Tue 23-Apr-13 09:02:05

DP's mum knows someone who works at Wimbledon and gets given four free tickets each year for the centre court. She keeps two for herself and gives two to DP.

Yesterday DP told me 'no offence' but he was really wanting to take DSD and not me. Then suggested we buy a ticket for me so I can join them.

But the only way to get a ticket now is to queue up from 6am and even then I'm not guaranteed to get the same tickets as them. I'll probably be in the ground courts while they're in the centre court.

I suspect I'm being stupid but I'm really pissed off about it and feel quite hurt. AIBU?

lottieandmia Tue 23-Apr-13 09:20:28

I would love to know how anyone could get a 4 or 5 year old to sit quietly for the duration of a tennis match! My dd is 4 and there is no way she would - it would spoil it for me taking her. Given that Centre Court is a special tennis experience then I can totally understand how the OP feels - I would be very hurt in her shoes. It's strange - I mean would you take your child out to dinner instead of your partner?

MoaneyMcmoanmoan Tue 23-Apr-13 09:20:33

Ah cross-post.

Maybe you could plan a break away, for just the two of you.

goldierocks Tue 23-Apr-13 09:20:51

Hi OP.... since 2008 you can buy tickets online from Ticketmaster from 8pm for the next days play on Centre Court.

I've done it quite a few times myself. These tickets are at the back of the court but the view is excellent. You can't talk during play so I don't know if the fact you wouldn't be seated together is an issue.

I've brought my son since he was four. It's football first with him, but he loves the whole Wimbledon experience.

Good luck with getting an extra ticket...:-)

ivanapoo Tue 23-Apr-13 09:21:16

Could DH's mum give her spare ticket to DSD and all of you go? Or will she take her partner?

Are you really into tennis btw? Ground tickets are great, and I can't think DSD will want to sit on centre court for v long...

picnicbasketcase Tue 23-Apr-13 09:21:19

I'd feel very left out too I think. There must be plenty of things he could do to spend time with his five year old that she would probably enjoy far more and would be a better bonding experience than a day of watching sport in silence. Have you actually told him how hurt you are?

anewyear Tue 23-Apr-13 09:21:20

Let him take her, as its possible he wont see most of it, as most of my friends daughters had a fascination for the toilets at that age..

MoaneyMcmoanmoan Tue 23-Apr-13 09:21:41

It depends on the child Lottie. My youngest DD has always been able to sit quietly for hours.

lottieandmia Tue 23-Apr-13 09:23:18

The thing is, there are things that are really fun for children to do and create special memories for them (like going to Disney Land) and things that just aren't appropriate for a 5 year old - like going to a centre court tennis match! If you choose your child instead of your partner to do an adult orientated activity then you don't think enough of your partner imo.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 23-Apr-13 09:23:26

Of course she doesn't give a shit about tennis, she is five.

Any man who would turn down a boozy day in the sunshine with his partner, for a day spent taking a five year old to the loo and putting up with wriggling and 'I'm bored/hungry' etc really isn't that into you.

ivanapoo Tue 23-Apr-13 09:24:08

Hang on I'm confused... It's HIS DSD so not his daughter, his ex's daughter? Is there backstory that might mean he is overcompensating for something?

lottieandmia Tue 23-Apr-13 09:24:44

Well yes I have an older child who at 4 sat through a ballet - but she wanted to go and see that and we were right in the front row.

lottieandmia Tue 23-Apr-13 09:26:54

Totally agree with Alibaba

magimedi Tue 23-Apr-13 09:45:09

YANBU

I think centre court tickets would be totally & utterly wasted on (most) five year olds.

MrsLyman Tue 23-Apr-13 10:06:10

I think you sound a bit childish to be honest, his DD may not be that into tennis but she is probably quite into having nice days out with her Dad.

Although the posters suggesting your relationship is a sham because he wants to take his daughter to Wimbledon are a bit bonkers, particularly as he also wants you to go.

pictish Tue 23-Apr-13 10:10:49

I think he's trying to have a tradition with his daughter. The sentiment is good, and the fact that he's putting her first actually very encouraging as to his character as a whole.
BUT...yanbu all the same.

Maybe his mum intends the other ticket for her gd. Maybe he feels he's expected to pick her.

peacefuloptimist Tue 23-Apr-13 10:14:44

I think it's very bitchy of people to play on people's insecurities like this. Of course he is into her if he is choosing to build a life with her (home and family). How many men choose to buy property with women they don't care about? OP I wouldn't look too deeply into why he is taking his dd even though it will probably be more enjoyable for him if he took you. My dh is like this in that he always wants to take our ds along with us when I suggest days out for the two of us and then makes me feel guilty if I want to leave him behind with Gparents. Some men are just not very good at understanding and predicting the impracticalities that young children can cause.

That said I don't think you should make a big issue out of him taking her instead of you as it can be easily misconstrued as you trying to compete with dsd.

Tiredmumno1 Tue 23-Apr-13 10:25:01

I agree with what peaceful said.

Also it's not really nice to tell someone that he is not into her. How do you know that? What a horrible thing to say.

lottieandmia Tue 23-Apr-13 10:30:24

'bitchy'? hmm

I would be gutted if my dp behaved like this towards me. I think the OP deserves better...

lottieandmia Tue 23-Apr-13 10:32:22

Some people don't know how to treat their partners, in spite of moving in with them. If I were the OP I would be straight with him about how I felt - she is understandably hurt.

BegoniaBampot Tue 23-Apr-13 10:32:28

YANBU - thought you were going to say she was older and really into tennis. I went last year and had center court tickets. I couldn't imagine taking a 5 yr old. We left at 7 in the morning and got home about 1 in the morning. it's a long day if you want to do it properly - not really something a young child would appreciate.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 23-Apr-13 10:32:40

I'd be annoyed too, that's a really lucky situation and a potentially wonderful day out, for an adult, or a tennis-mad teen.

Frankly, I think it's wasted on a five yo, who'd be as happy spending a day with her dad at the local park, pool or soft play, at a fraction of the cost of these tickets (still their value, even though he's not paying).

If he's saying 'we' can get you another ticket, make sure he means HE will get you another ticket. Allowing you the privelege of queueing is hardly a kindness. If he wants to invite you on his family day out, he sorts out the tickets.

Tiredmumno1 Tue 23-Apr-13 10:35:35

I also agree with what lottie is saying. OP you do need to be open and honest, sit down and have a chat about making time for yourselves smile

whois Tue 23-Apr-13 10:36:27

OP I can see why you're upset, as it would be a lovely thing to do as a couple.

But it is also a nice thing to do with his DC. Hopefully it will be sunny, he'll buy her strawberries and cream, watch a bit of tennis, have a generally nice day together. You don't have to do 100% child centric things to have a nice time with a child.

BegoniaBampot Tue 23-Apr-13 10:40:36

I think it's a shame actually. lot of people would love those tickets and really use them. he will take the child, sit for a little while and then probably leave the seats empty for a good part of the day.

noclue2000 Tue 23-Apr-13 10:44:49

i think the fact that he wants to spend time with his daughter is a good thing, how many men get slagged off for putting the new partner before their children?

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