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AIBU?

To be sad my friends think my hen do will be 'boring'

153 replies

oopnorthlass · 22/04/2013 09:41

I probably am being unreasonable, but anyway....

I'm getting married next year and have been discussing my hen do with a couple of friends and they've both said (in a jokey way, but in a way you can tell they're telling the truth) that it sounds 'boring'.

My plan was to rent a cottage somewhere, with a hot tub, then spend a couple of nights and days just hanging out. There would obviously be lots of wine and champagne involved, and I'm going to organise classes like chocolate tasting and a day at a spa. I was thinking of pub lunches, nice restaurants and just generally a relaxed weekend.

I know the tradition is to do the whole L-plates and drinking in clubs thing, but that so isn't me! Strippers and naked butlers make me cringe! I've been to loads of hen do's where this is what the hen wanted, and have joined in etc. But for my own hen, am I being unreasonable to want to do what I'll enjoy? And what do I do is no-one wants to come?

Just to note, it isn't a money thing that will prevent friends coming. And, also, I'm the last of our group of friends to get married, and the only one without kids, so I think some people are seeing this as a 'last hurrah' type thing.

Sad

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WorraLiberty · 22/04/2013 09:44

Tbh I would find that boring too....far too much 'relaxing' and not enough energetic stuff.

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than to the whole 'L-plate' thing though.

Can you not do something inbetween? Like a few outdoor activities?

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WorraLiberty · 22/04/2013 09:44

*do

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HubbaHubbaHubbaInHoobLand · 22/04/2013 09:45

I think it sounds lovely. Its your hen do. Do what you fancy doing

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IllegalYoniFarm · 22/04/2013 09:45

I think it sounds lovely, ill come!

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curiousgeorgie · 22/04/2013 09:45

I think that sounds great... I hate the whole hen night madness. One friend had a trip to Vegas, two weeks in a villa and a spa weekend for her 'hens'.

If I was your friend, I would be very happy!!

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gordyslovesheep · 22/04/2013 09:46

I spent last weekend doing just that OP and we had a lovely time - not a hen do, just mates enjoying time together - sounds lovely

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DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 22/04/2013 09:46

I think it sounds fabulous.

Not enough 'energetic' stuff...?! That's a good thing in my book.

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juneau · 22/04/2013 09:46

No, of course YANBU - it's your hen do. However, if your taste in weekends away is vastly different to your friends' I don't think you should be surprised if they don't want to come (the organisation of which, when you have kids, is generally no easy feat).

As a mother of two kids myself it takes a lot to make me go through the military organisation of even a day shopping at the weekend - never mind a weekend away.

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ScarletLady02 · 22/04/2013 09:46

Sounds lovely to be honest...I'm not one for the whole naked butler thing either.

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oopnorthlass · 22/04/2013 09:47

Worra, definitely, had that planned already actually. Meant to mention it in the classes but, but there's paintballing or climbing we could do that I'm definitely up for!

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HubbaHubbaHubbaInHoobLand · 22/04/2013 09:47

You will have a proper laugh without the rotten hangover too.

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Callisto · 22/04/2013 09:47

The chocolate tasting and spa day sound awful, the rest sounds great. But it does depend on the people you will be going with. If your 'friends' don't like the sound of it don't invite them.

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HellonHeels · 22/04/2013 09:47

That sounds lovely! I'd far rather go to your hen do than an L plate and veil one. I didn't have a hen do but if were having one now I'd like a craft day where the bride's friends are helped to make her a quilt or something and you get tea and cake and a glass or two of fizz.

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pictish · 22/04/2013 09:47

Sounds perfect. I'll come!

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tabulahrasa · 22/04/2013 09:47

I think it sounds a bit boring as well tbh - just loads of hanging about.

But if that's what you want, that's what you want.

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MrsSpagBol · 22/04/2013 09:47

Sounds excellent to me!!

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StiffyByng · 22/04/2013 09:48

I think that sounds brilliant and the nicest hen I've ever been on was similar. I wanted something like that but didn't feel confident enough to ask people to go away for a weekend.

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WorraLiberty · 22/04/2013 09:48

Oh that's good, I'd definitely be up for the paint balling and climbing Grin

But otherwise it's all based around eating/drinking/doing nothing.

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wonderingsoul · 22/04/2013 09:49

i think its cruel of them to piss on your cornflakes like that!

if they where real friends they would smile and fake excitment!

i'll come. sounds like bliss to me, though id have to have vodka instead of wine Wink

do what you want, thouse that dont want to come dont have to.

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DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 22/04/2013 09:49

Hanging about ... with Wine though!!

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imour · 22/04/2013 09:49

depends on the age group really , i would love it , but younger ones want to get dressed up and go clubbing .

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HubbaHubbaHubbaInHoobLand · 22/04/2013 09:49

Where are you thinking of renting the cottage?

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cantspel · 22/04/2013 09:51

Doesn't matter if we think we would enjoy something like that as we are not going. If you want your friends to enjoy themselves as well they you must include a few things you know they would enjoy.
A group of women in a cottage getting bored is a argument waiting to happen.

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elliejjtiny · 22/04/2013 09:51

Sounds great, I'll come too Grin. PS my hen night was even more boring. My 14 year old sister was desperate to come to mine so we just went to pizza hut. I had a bride to be rosette and the bridesmaids had badges. I enjoyed it though. You're the bride and you get to choose. If your friends think it's going to be boring don't invite them and invite some random mumsnetters instead Wink

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StuntGirl · 22/04/2013 09:52

It's not really about what the others want though is it? Its like birthdays, you good naturedly do what the birthday person wants even if its not really your cup of tea. I think its mean of your friends to make you feel bad about your choice.

That said, you won't enjoy it if you know they're not enjoyng it iyswim. Is there anything else you'd like to do? There are a lot of options in between relaxing week in a cottage and tacky night out. Or is there anyone in your group who would enjoy it, could you go with them and arrange a night out with the party girls another time?

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