to be annoyed that my friends havent helped?

(172 Posts)
toomuchtoask Sat 20-Apr-13 20:37:32

I have just moved house. My friends are well aware I've been stressed with it. It has needed a complete refurb which wasn't expected. I haven't had a moment to think for about a month. Have any of my friends helped? Nope of course not. Even when specifically asked if they can come. Aibu to be annoyed or aibu to think they would help? They did offer but then they kept making excuses. I would help anyone out but I feel let down that I'm barely a second thought for them.

bedmonster Thu 25-Apr-13 13:43:38

I'm glad you're feeling better, it really is draining.
You've done really well OP.
But I would always help a friend with stuff, and our friends have always done the same for us. Our friends and family don't move often though, maybe it's different if you move 3 times a year with shit laods of stuff!

I would draw the line at having things like 'painting parties' though as the results look shit. No one cuts anything in properly, One wall has 2 coats and the other has 3, someone has left bristles from their brush all in the paint... Painting and decorating aren't things that should be rushed or else they look awful, so actually, maybe you're better off not having their painting help!

I'd do your cleaning, make you dinner, look after your kids, do a bit of painting but would probably draw the line at fixing your floor boards or sanding and plastering. Am not qualified to so either and would make a hash of it.

Your friends are not being unhelpful at all. Sounds as though you have taken on more than you can handle all at once and rather than taking a step back and prioritising (other than floorboards and electrics nothing is that much of a priority) you are expecting others to pick up the slack.

Do what needs to be done immediately for safety and just take your time with the rest. As long as your home is clean, safe and warm then no one is going to come a cropper!

toomuchtoask Thu 25-Apr-13 10:35:17

Yeah I managed to finish getting everything over maddening. I ended up having to get a removal company to do a part load to get the big stuff over as obviously I could lift a washing machine, sofa etc myself and certainly couldn't fit them in my car. They brought the big stuff over last week and I finished bringing the rest over this week. Had to dip into my overdraft to pay them but there wasn't really an option.

ZillionChocolate - Yeah it definitely feels like a big achievement!

ZillionChocolate Thu 25-Apr-13 07:09:54

Glad you've made so much progress. Must feel like a real achievement!

maddening Wed 24-Apr-13 21:47:36

ha - well done still (I was feeling v inadequate smile ) did you get the last of your stuff moved over?

toomuchtoask Wed 24-Apr-13 20:30:55

maddening it's a month of work not 3 days! I have done an awful lot over the last 3-4 days though!

MadBusLady. I'm not completely unpacked yet! I have to build my wardrobes and drawers first!

MadBusLady Wed 24-Apr-13 20:28:00

Oh wow! We must have moved about the same time as you and we've still not completely unpacked. Well done, and remember to sleep! grin

imour Wed 24-Apr-13 20:25:32

good for you for getting on , must of been overwhelming to move then see the amount of work you had to do , glad you are feeling better about it all .

maddening Wed 24-Apr-13 20:24:11

Wow that's absolutely fab for three days work - big pat on the back for you! Plan a rest too you definitely don't want to run yourself ragged!

I am still recuperating smile

tripecity Wed 24-Apr-13 20:09:31

When my friends moved house and needed rooms painting, they asked people over on a saturday afternoon and laid on beer and pizza. Not surprisingly we all got stuck in. About 10 of us turned up to help and we all did a wall, which added up to quite a few walls that were done at the end of that day

Under these circumstances I would give up my time and rearrange my saturday to help them (it was a laugh actually). If they just asked me to come over and do some cleaning, I wouldnt as I have enough of my own to do, however selfish that sounds

toomuchtoask Wed 24-Apr-13 19:52:25

Thanks Jan. I do feel quite proud of myself really. I've made floorboards, sawed wood to the right size, plained, sanded. I've sanded walls and wallpapered, painted. I've made new bottoms to broken kitchen cupboards. I've hung heavy pictures and mirrors. Among a million other things.

Jan49 Wed 24-Apr-13 19:14:00

That's a hole in the wall, not in the water.blush blush

Jan49 Wed 24-Apr-13 19:13:09

I'm so glad for you! I think you've done really well. My idea of dealing with a hole in the water mostly consists of hanging something over it to block it!blush I think moving house can feel overwhelming, so many things that all need doing at once and things you'd like to get done but can't.

toomuchtoask Wed 24-Apr-13 17:18:21

Thank you Catherine.

1Catherine1 Wed 24-Apr-13 17:11:30

Good, I'm happy that you're feeling better. I don't think anyone thought badly of you, it was obviously clear that you were just struggling under immense pressure.

toomuchtoask Wed 24-Apr-13 17:05:44

I've just popped back to apologise for my attitude the other day. I was severely stressed.

Thank you to those who supported me. I am now about 80% sorted with the house after working like a trooper to get it sorted. I am feeling a million times better.

StanleyLambchop Mon 22-Apr-13 11:59:59

Is it full rent or mates rates? If it is full rent then the relative, as the landlord, should get the floorboards fixed and sort out the washing machine problems. If it is cheap rent in return for doing up the house yourself then you can't really complain. Either way I suspect we will never know as the OP has gone off in a huff.

OrlaKiely Mon 22-Apr-13 10:46:51

She still has to pay rent on this house. It's not like a gift.

kitsmummy Mon 22-Apr-13 10:44:24

God, someone bought you a house, but it needs some work doing to it? Some people have all the bad luck...

FauxFox Mon 22-Apr-13 10:29:16

Someone bought you a house? Wow I think that's probably more help than most people will ever get...

BIWI Mon 22-Apr-13 08:37:48

Yes ...

nipersvest Sun 21-Apr-13 22:35:10

op, i have trouble feeling sorry for you due to the inconsistencies. you've said you are moving everything yourself, didn't you post a thread only a few days ago complaining about your removal men?

ChippingInLovesSpring Sun 21-Apr-13 22:20:48

Stanley I looked at that before and thought it seemed like a bloody brilliant idea for my awful walls, but the guy in B&Q talked me out of it, basically said it was crap... it's very interesting to hear from someone who has had good results with it. I might get a small one and try it on one wall - I've nothing to lose!

StanleyLambchop Sun 21-Apr-13 19:40:41

Chipping- The paint is by Polycell and it is called 3-in-1 Basecoat. They stock it at B & Q. Goes on with a roller. Then you paint over it with your chosen colour. Job done.

Bobyan Sun 21-Apr-13 19:32:52

So someone buys you a house and now you are moaning that your friends haven't help to decorate or move you in.

Entitled much?

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