HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

(651 Posts)
TheAccused Sat 20-Apr-13 16:20:36

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 21-Apr-13 21:42:26

If this is real, you have to feel sorry for which poor bastard parks next to the OP.

Any perceived slight is going to end up with something nasty smeared on their door handles.

pinkyredrose Sun 21-Apr-13 21:43:07

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lisbethsopposite Sun 21-Apr-13 22:26:42

That word makes me cringe.

Mimishimi Mon 22-Apr-13 00:12:52

Why did you intentionally park over the line?

ComposHat Mon 22-Apr-13 01:30:04

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LetMeAtTheWine Mon 22-Apr-13 03:22:38

I can't believe a number of responses to the police involvement - to suggest they must be involved due to being related to someone in the police force is simply ridiculous. I can just imagine the thread from the fathers perspective if the police refused to get involved....

"Went to supermarket today with 15 yr old son who suffers from anxiety, particularly with crowded places. Son was having a bit of an off day so wanted to stay in the car. Parked up in a bay next to someone who was clearly incapable of parking their car properly because, whilst I was parked within the lines, they were over two bays and as a result our cars were quite close as a result.
When I came out, son was horrified as overheard the other driver slagging off the way car was parked. He thought she was talking to him when she started mentioning an idiot as there was no-one other than children there. He pointed out that it wasn't him who had parked it so she launched a tirade of abuse at him - shouting and swearing at him. Her level of aggression towards him was frightening. I contacted the police as son is obviously distraught. They have said abuse from an unknown adult to a minor is acceptable and won't do anything about it, despite the fact we have her reg. no so she can be traced....."
Of course we know OP said she didn't scream and shout, but we don't know how much it was exaggerated to he police.

I am sure the response on here would be 'I think the police are right. It is perfectly acceptable behaviour and they shouldn't get involved'... It seems it doesn't matter what they do, they can't win. Perhaps they should put every report up for a community vote to decide which ones are worthy of following up?

MidniteScribbler Mon 22-Apr-13 03:28:25

This whole thing reminds me of the day I was parked in by an elderly driver. I swear I must have time travelled and met the OP in her dotage:

I have a massive 4WD that I can manage to get between the two lines, she had a tiny fart box. She parked it on an angle so that the front headlight was actually right up against my door.
Me: "You need to park straight, I can't get out of my car."
Her: "I'm old."
Me: "So?"
Her: "You just don't understand what it's like. One day you'll be old too."
Me: "Yes, and when I get so old I can't park my car between two white lines, then I'll give up my drivers licence because I'm obviously no longer capable of operating a vehicle safely. Now, could you please move your car?
Her: "No, that's the best I can do. My eyesight isn't the best."
Me: Proceeds to climb out through the car window and walk across the bonnet of her car, leaving appropriate muddy footprints.
Her: splutter splutter splutter

I'm sure this will be the OP in the future.

Moominsarehippos Mon 22-Apr-13 09:53:21

Her: "No, that's the best I can do. My eyesight isn't the best."

Eyesight isn't the best! That's a bit concering.

TheAccused Mon 22-Apr-13 10:03:00

I am accused of being aggressive but am called a CUNT several times and the posts are left standing. Disgusting and says it all about most of the posters on this forum.

Hmmmm yes, think you were in the wrong all round OP. having a go at the kid in the car was well OTT and I'm sure if you left your teenager in the car, after you had parked stupidly (again) and some stranger had a go at them, you would be pissed off too.

I wouldn't apologise however, I would let it go further, don't see how they could make it stick. Apologies if thread has moved on,I've not read the whole thing smile

MyDarlingClementine Mon 22-Apr-13 10:21:16

She wasn't having a go at the kid in the car - she didn't know the kid was in the car, he over heard and here we are.

If my DC saw someone struggling with a young DC I would like to think they would be concerned and apologetic no matter whose fault parking over lines is/was. Another person is in distress.

YoniMeKateMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 22-Apr-13 10:22:09

Morning everyone,

Could we remind you of our talk guidelines, with particular emphasis on the part about personal attacks.

LucieLucie Mon 22-Apr-13 10:23:13

Op, you have been treated really badly and jumped on by posters who have jumped to conclusions and failed to read and understand what you have posted.
I completely understand why you parked in 2 bays. Just because people don't like folk doing that doesn't give them the right to be 'car park police'! The bloke should have parked in a bay -If he was so close to your car while yours was half and half then that means he was over the lines too, possibly in attempt to provoke a reaction.

A supermarket car park is a Private road. My first thought about this was that the father is a cop. Put a complaint in writing to the police stating that an illegal/inappropriate PNC Check was carried out on your vehicle on that date for a complete non-offence. He will get knuckles wrapped severely if abusing his power.
Regardless of the morals of parking over lines, it is not illegal to do so in a supermarket car park!
Some people need to live and let live and mind their own business.

LondonMan Mon 22-Apr-13 10:29:14

Those who say she can't park are hard-of-thinking. If she'd unintentionally parked in the next space that might be true. Since she parked exactly as intended, they're wrong.

I'm irritated by people saying she's selfish. It's perfectly possible, even in London where I am, depending on the time of day, to find car parks that are half-empty and will still be so by the time you've finished shopping. In that scenario if you park nowhere near other cars, you are not causing anyone any inconvenience by occupying two spaces.

It is a well-known fact that if you do park far from everyone else, some idiot will came and park right next to you. I don't know why the idiots do this, but they do. So to forestall this by occupying two bays is rational, were it not for the possibility (pointed out up-thread) that you might be ticketed.

Her mistake was to only take a bit of the next space, she should have parked with exactly half her car in each space.

I think it should be made an offense to park next to someone if there is a bay, visible from that position, where you wouldn't have to. Then owners of wide cars could park properly in the least convenient part of a car park with some confidence that they won't have a problem when they return.

He overheard at first, she didn't know he was there at first then she continued talking to him about his Fathers parking, what could he do?

MyDarlingClementine Mon 22-Apr-13 10:30:50

It is a well-known fact that if you do park far from everyone else, some idiot will came and park right next to you. I don't know why the idiots do this, but they do

^ there is always one.

MyDarlingClementine Mon 22-Apr-13 10:32:50

What could he do?

Apologise, " I am sorry I do not think my Father realised he blocked you in, can I help you in some way?"

what would she do?

Probably say " no its my fault, I just try and park like this for this very reason, dont worry its not you, maybe just let your dad know next time, this is why some people park like this - its not his fault either!"

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 22-Apr-13 10:34:36

Op still hasn't explained why she didn't just get in the other side, where presumably there was an empty space.

* 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' * this is what the kid first heard, it's not exactly an opener to ...Oh I'm so sorry father blocked you in, can I help in some way..is it?

undercoversahm Mon 22-Apr-13 10:47:20

1. Isn't this what parent and toddler spaces are for? Don't they give you extra width so you don't have this kind of problem?

2. Even if it was selfish parking (not completely cast iron - taking 2 spaces is quite entitled but perhaps there was no choice and there were lots of other spaces....), that is def not something that should involve the police.

3. Being rude to a child sitting alone in a car is indusputably twattish but again it seems like a waste of police time taking that any further. There are lots of idiots in the world and they don't all warrant police visits. That knock on the door must have been very alarming, OP, and out of all proportion to your lack of judgment in the car park.

4. In conclusion, the police should consider telling off the complainant for wasting police time (as the police were forced to investigate after they received a complaint). It sounds like the other driver (the father of the boy) parked deliberately to cause confrontation and then bothered the police about it when it arrived.

There were no P&C spaces, undercover apart from that, spot on.

domoarigato Mon 22-Apr-13 11:00:27

THE POINT IS A TEENAGER SHOULD NOT BE TALKING TO AN ADULT IN THAT WAY!! WHEN DID THIS BECOME OK? NO RESPECT TODAY...I WOULD NEVER HAVE DREAMED ABOUT ARGUING WITH A STRANGER IN MY DAY!

pinkyredrose Mon 22-Apr-13 11:08:30

no respect today hahaha!

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 22-Apr-13 11:15:39

Do you have to shout domoarigato?
This is a silly little thread on MN, which is probably made up. please try to calm down.
That kind of anger can't be good for your blood pressure.

GirlOutNumbered Mon 22-Apr-13 11:17:14

Why should he take abuse from some woman bad mouthing his father?!

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