to think all you smug bastards with GARDENS don't know how lucky you are!

(113 Posts)
TrappedInHell Sat 20-Apr-13 13:56:40

Sorry, sorry, sorry but I am RANTING and feeling full of woe is me! I live in a fucking FLAT on the 2nd floor. I feel trapped, hemmed in and high up. I want to send the DCs out into the sunshine while I do stuff. I want to plant flowers and mow grass just to get the smell. I want to hang washing and see the wind blow through it. I want my toddler to have a sandpit. I want to sit outside in the sun with a glass of wine. I want to do the DCs a bbq. How did my life come to this??? There is nothing I can do to change for the foreseeable future.

AAAAARRRRRGGHHHHHH!

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 18:41:44

We don't have a garden. Never have bar a couple of years out of 11.

You just get on how you can! And I had 3 at one time. Now have a 4-year-old DS and 7-year-old DD2.

I pack a picnic or BBQ and off we go. Today we flew a kite and kicked a football in the park and had a BBQ in our portable BBQ.

MarianneM Sat 20-Apr-13 18:45:00

Are there no parks or outside spaces near you where your children can play?

I live in a 3rd floor flat, no garden. Today I went to a local soft play centre with my two children - there is a large outdoor area that has a sandpit, toys, bouncy castle, wendy houses etc. The girls ran around for three hours while I sat reading in the sunshine. They also made new friends and enjoyed the company of other children and parents.

You don't necessarily need a garden...and communal spaces are more sociable.

Meglet Sat 20-Apr-13 18:48:50

I have a small garden and do consider us lucky.

Some of the dc's friends live in flats and it must be really hard for them and drive their parents up the wall.

rainbowfeet Sat 20-Apr-13 18:49:06

I could have written this post myself!! confused Long complicated story... Marital home small but nice with garden then came a poorly child, her subsequent death, my breakdown, end of marriage, me & 2 dc's in a small 1st fl rented flat there is a communal garden of sorts but that's full if smelly rubbish bins & dog sh#t!!! ... To make matters worse ex is still in marital home with new gf!! But hey ho.. Most days (apart from the odd bad day) I am thankful for what I have got!!! grin

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 18:53:56

We're also in a flat. 1st floor maisonette.

dementedma Sat 20-Apr-13 18:55:53

meant to add that although I have a garden now, i am neither smug nor a bastard

Molehillmountain Sat 20-Apr-13 18:56:24

I agree with the poster who talked about the privileged living in a bubble-as children at least. I remember a lightbulb moment when I was about nine and there was an item about gardening where they said "...and if you don't have a garden you could...". I vividly remember thinking "but everyone has a garden don't they?" And the train of thought that followed. I think some of my friends have yet to have that thought. I'm really sorry op, vent away and I hope something changes soon.

Yanbu.

We moved from a flat to a house when DC1 was 2.7. Changed my life.

People said "oh but you live near the swing park and there's nice communal gardens" but that is completely different from having your own back door, shoving encouraging the children out of it, and sitting inside in peace watching the laundry fluttering on the line. It was always such an expedition to go outside, rather than just another place to play.

TheCrackFox Sat 20-Apr-13 19:09:28

YANBU

We have a much loved garden now but up until 4 yrs ago we always lived in a flat. Life with so children, without a garden, is so much harder. A lot of this has to do with the British weather - just not enough sun.

LST Sat 20-Apr-13 19:22:08

what part of the country are you in op? sad

colleysmill Sat 20-Apr-13 19:26:57

Our house is fairly ordinary and not really particularly special - escape to the country wouldn't be interested.

The biggest factor in swaying us in buying it was the garden. It's the kind of garden I dreamed of as a kid.

But (and its a bloody big but) we live in one of the cheapest counties in the country. We couldn't afford anything like this anywhere else - what we paid wouldnt buy you a shed in the south of the country.

I hope I'm not smug - I thank my lucky stars we are able to work and live here at the moment but who knows what is round the corner for any of us.

redadmiralsinthegarden Sat 20-Apr-13 19:34:23

where are you, OP? There are lots of people on here (including me) who have a garden that you could access!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 20-Apr-13 19:38:21

I agree with those saying OP could access their garden but it's just not the same is it? She can;t really relax....her DC can't run in and out.

OP why can't you move? I know it's expensive...do you rent? In your situation I would focus ALL my annoyance at getting into a house with a garden....I would save pennies...find other ways...yes it could take years but it's a focus.

This isn't actually your first post about this is it OP? As I recall you moan a lot about your housing situation.
I know things are tough but you don't help yourself by pointless envy of things you know you don't have and can't have at the moment.
I have a garden btw yes but that doesn't make me either smug or a bastard. I don't care how much you want to rant. Your post title is unpleasant.

colleysmill Sat 20-Apr-13 19:42:05

Oh definately welcome here anytime

Fillyjonk75 Sat 20-Apr-13 19:43:01

Meh. It's just another room to tidy!

Kirjava have pmed you smile

Laquitar Sat 20-Apr-13 19:49:03

Can we make a mn swap then? All these lovely posters who love mowing grass and are good at gardening can come to the lazy cows like me and enjoy free gardening, i will provide wine and you can use my washing line too! Honestly i'm useless at gardening and i dont fancy it at all. Dirty garden full of slugs, weeds, and cat and fox poo. I will give you cake too!

mamasmissionimpossible Sat 20-Apr-13 19:49:59

We used to live in a 2 bed flat, 3rd floor. There was no garden and it was such a faff taking the kids to the park. Although I did do it, as they nearly drove me mad with all their energy

We now rent a home with a garden, and although I don't like the house. I am so gratful for the garden and being able to chuck the dc outside and leave them there I love being able to hang washing 'outside' rather than having it inside for days on end.

I am making the most of it as we are probably going to have to move back to our flat in 6 months as we can't afford to stay in the house long term sad

raisah Sat 20-Apr-13 19:55:30

The neighbours cats use the bottom of my garden as a toilet. My right hand neighbours have outside kennels which stink on a hot day or if the wind blows in a certain direction. My left hand neighburs have 2 dc & use my driveway as a shortcut to theirs but never say hello. The neighbours at the bottom of my garden used to throw their fag ends over the fence when I first moved in. They stopped once I started to throw it back over the fence.

Chottie Sat 20-Apr-13 20:01:30

I hear you OP. I lived in a flat for 2 years. Just the joy of opening the back door and stepping into a garden is wonderful.

I hope MN can come up with a solution for you.

MyDarlingClementine Sat 20-Apr-13 20:06:27

enlightenedowl do cats shit on grass shock

bedmonster Sat 20-Apr-13 20:08:49

I really sympathise with you. We had no garden and 2 small DDs in a 3rd floor flat for 4 bloody years. It was horrible in the summer, not being able to just fling open the back door and sling them out, no trampoline, no fresh air, no bbqs. We've been there. It meant having to get up and make an effort to go to the park just to be outside.
We do now have a mahoosive garden and I do know exactly how lucky we are to have spent the whole afternoon just being outside.
It sucks to feel hemmed in and I really do feel for you. sad

parabelle Sat 20-Apr-13 20:11:31

I don't take it for granted, this is the first time since I was a kid that I've lived any where with a garden. Have you any parks nearby?

BlackholesAndRevelations Sat 20-Apr-13 20:17:34

I hated not having a garden, and that was before having any dc. Have you any relatives with gardens?

guilty at state of garden blush

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