To give DS a 'day off'?

[gostraighttojail]

I know I will be termed a pushy parent but I am just trying to do my best here.

DS, aged 4.
DH and I both work. We really try to do nice things with the kids at the weekend. They don't watch TV during the day and our time is usually quite structured.

But today, DS has been watching TV for ages. He is not feeling well.

I feel uncomfortable that he is upstairs watching TV and not getting any positive input from me or anyone or anything.

Is this OK? Am I mad? Are you going to flame me as some kind of pushy mum?

[TigOldBitties]

I don't really understand what you mean about all his structure and input.

But, it's a weekend. Nothing wrong with spending a day watching tv. It's my plan for the day plus a BBQ.

[Jinsei]

Oh gosh. Just relax! And let him relax!!!

A day in front of the TV when he isn't feeling well will do him no harm at all. Positive input is great, but we all need down time.

[gostraighttojail]

I mean that we will usually go swimming in the morning, then to the zoo in the afternoon. Or to the park, then to an ice cream parlour. Or something. But not loads of hanging round the house with the TV on.

[500internalerror]

Everyone needs fire-gazing time, not just when ill.

What makes you need so much structure?

[gostraighttojail]

I have offered to do loads of things. He has said no. Totally out of character, poor DS

[squeakytoy]

children do not need entertaining and trips out every bloody weekend.. they are meant to be treats! there is nothing wrong in a child learning to not be bored in their own company and finding things to do rather than be out on structured activities at every opportunity..

[pinkyredrose]

Oh ffs . He's 4! how structured is his leisure time usually?

[gostraighttojail]

I guess I feel guilty that we are unable to do things together in the week, 500.

[Jinsei]

OP, I agree that hours in front of the TV isn't desirable, but it's a bit different when they're not well.

Also, I think unstructured time is really important for children. Does he have time to just do his own thing, play his own games etc?

[enjolraslove]

We are having exactly the same sort of day. Dd is tired after a full nursery week (normally only does 3 days and had been on holiday for two weeks with me so a real shock to the system!). She is very happy, singing along to various songs in the films, while pouring more toys onto the floor and making complicated games. We may make a trip to 1 shop later but that is it. I think everyone needs a chill out day every now and again!

[CadleCrap]

Why can't you just "do" reading a book?

[Jinsei]

OP, I have always worked FT as well, but please, ditch the guilt! It's great to do nice things with your kids at the weekend but don't let your need to over-compensate interfere with his need to chill and spend time doing his own thing.

[flippinada]

Nothing wrong with that at all, we all need down days every now and then!

I understand why you feel anxious about it though, I get a bit like that too but as long as it's not all the time, I think it's fine .

[Flobbadobs]

Oh don't worry, the occasional duvet day is absolutely fine. It wouldn't be much fun for him if he's not feeling great to be doing too much anyway!
A quiet day today and I bet he will be feeling much better tomorrow and will want to do something.

[mrsjay]

if you are feeling ill do you want to do fun things or do you want to sit and slob and feel better ?

[mrsjay]

oh and when i am ill Input and conversation is the last thing i need or want tis the same for a child

[insancerre]

children need unstructured time
they need to learn how to amuse themselves and to just 'be'

[Xiaoxiong]

When I'm ill all I want to do is lie on the sofa and watch DVDs with my family dancing attendance on my every need and then leaving me alone, so sounds pretty in-character for your DS to want the same

Hope he feels better soon.

[TigOldBitties]

Leave him be, like all kids, he will let you know when he wants something.

[gostraighttojail]

Oh we read plenty of books, whoever asked why we can't ever read a book!! He loves them - all 4 year olds do, I'm sure!!
Trying to stop being so twitchy. Thanks for the advice.

We are all a bit hyperactive in this family. Don't really enjoy staying in much really!

[WorraLiberty]

I would have hated too much structured time as a kid.

Part of growing up is learning to occupy themselves when they're bored.

Let him do what he wants until he feels better.

[eggsandwich]

sounds to me that your trying to compensate at the weekends for the fact that both you and your dh work, and trying in my opinion too hard to make sure that he doesn't miss out on a family life. Just relax, if he's unwell just leave him to watch tv, it will probably do him good not to do any activities.

[Doogle2]

Grab some snacks, get a snuggle blanket and enjoy a cuddle with him in front of the telly. He will love it.

[Jinsei]

My dd is currently upstairs in her pyjamas playing with her sylvanian families. It's her standard routine for a Saturday morning and she disappears for a couple of hours into her own glorious little world. She tends to be quite busy through the week as she's the kind of kid who signs up for everything. Later, she will be going to her dance class. She absolutely needs some time just to do whatever takes her fancy. No schedule, no structure, no pressure.

I hope your little boy feels better soon.

[mrsjay]

I loved the quote of just letting them be it is ok you know to let them amuse themselves for a while