to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

(550 Posts)
BriansWife Thu 11-Apr-13 20:34:06

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

dopeysheep Thu 11-Apr-13 20:38:55

17 years studying minge? That's impressive.

No, this isnt real. He isnt really called Brian!
is he?

PseudoBadger Thu 11-Apr-13 20:39:32

I reckon many a 14 year old could offer Brian's expertise

May I suggest you get in touch with Shona Sibary and Amanda Holden Brian'swife? They feel similarly about mumsnet and, as busy working mums, no doubt would also be interested in his services.

Flossiechops Thu 11-Apr-13 20:39:37

Hahahahahaha!! Fab! So glad Becky's yoni is all fixed thanks to Brian's techniques. Uh er misses!

Branleuse Thu 11-Apr-13 20:39:38
shellyf Thu 11-Apr-13 20:40:07

right

BriansWife Thu 11-Apr-13 20:40:16

Unfortunately, we are on a low income and Brian has to charge some money to cover his travelling expenses.

Morgause Thu 11-Apr-13 20:40:18

Of course Trudi Styler has a yoni she married Sting.

andadietcoke Thu 11-Apr-13 20:40:31

Oh. Brilliant. Lucky, lucky Becky's Yoni to have benefitted from such attention. So glad to hear about her happy ending.

Tee2072 Thu 11-Apr-13 20:40:35

grin

Forwardscatter Thu 11-Apr-13 20:40:43

I want to hear from Becky.

TheYoniOneIKnow Thu 11-Apr-13 20:40:45

17 years studying minge?

Arf.

PhyllisDoris Thu 11-Apr-13 20:41:00

OP - do you REALLY not mind your DH mucking about in other women's yonis? I can't say I'd be overjoyed if I were you.

BloominMarvellous Thu 11-Apr-13 20:41:30

I think seeing my yoni should be payment enough. Even DP isn't that honoured! Tis a sacred yoni!!!

Maat Thu 11-Apr-13 20:41:32

I know a woman named Yoni.

I have learnt something today on MN.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Thu 11-Apr-13 20:41:36

Just to point out, this Brian, it ain't me.

<worried that you all think I'm a big ol' Yoni Master bater )

squaresausage Thu 11-Apr-13 20:41:37

Health and happiness of yonis

Mine has a huge cheeser right now. Cheers! grin

TheYoniOneIKnow Thu 11-Apr-13 20:41:39

Wow, Brian travels?
I'd just booked the EasyBus to Hull sad

Shouldn't that be Becky's happy finish?

Lueji Thu 11-Apr-13 20:42:14

Should I be worried that if I google Yoni massage, the 5th link is to a MN thread?

grin

AnAirOfHope Thu 11-Apr-13 20:42:16

PMSL

BriansBrain Thu 11-Apr-13 20:42:26

I am in no way associated to Brian and his yoni fiddling business.

BloominMarvellous Thu 11-Apr-13 20:42:48

Arf at the easy bus!!!!!!! grin

Where does he travel to for £80?!

Do they do Ryanair from Hull?

£80 for a wank. That's 80 quid, FOR A WANK

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