To think that even if you're sleazy enough to think wolf-whistling is a compliment...

(242 Posts)
BedHanger Mon 08-Apr-13 18:00:21

There are some groups of women you'd spare from the honour of your attention?

Like, maybe, a sleep-deprived new mother with a month-old baby strapped to her chest?

Yeuch. Why do some men think this is ok?

LimitedEditionLady Fri 12-Apr-13 19:55:14

I can see why some ladies will like to be wolf whistled at but I personally hate being wolf whistled at, particularly when I am on my own and it's a big group of men because I feel really uncomfortable that these idiots are staring at me and judging me on appearance. It actually makes me really mad. Fair enough if someone likes how I look that's great, fantastic but I don't particularly want to know! It's even worse when men do it in front of ladies partners, now that is just plain rude!

Pendeen Fri 12-Apr-13 12:16:37

That's terrible aufaniae, truly shocking that someone could do that and yet nobody said or did anything! sad

aufaniae Fri 12-Apr-13 10:23:57

digerd, I remember a man quite obviously wanking over my friend on a tube when we were 13. He was standing up. We didn't know how to react, so were giggly (we were behind him, my friend who he was leering over certainly wasn't giggling).

What shocked me then and to this day is that none of the other adults on that busy train said or did anything.

Horrible sad

digerd Thu 11-Apr-13 20:10:26

I remember, years ago, when I was a teenager, and from 16-18 was travelling on the tube for an hour. I was touched up, in various ways, one man wanked behind his newspaper<yuck>, was flashed at outside. Chatted up by a man with a handlebar moustache that he kept stroking, etc.
When I got into my 20s it stopped.

School girls only - that's disgusting.

ICBINEG Thu 11-Apr-13 20:00:37

mechanical oh there is no sneering...being subject to and influenced by peer pressure is what living in a society is all about. Some people are more susceptible than others, some people are more aware of the influence of peer pressure than others.

You say that some days you go natural and some days you go full slap, what determines which day it will be? Is it random?

I don't really do make up, but I do have different clothes for different confidence levels on a day to day basis.....

Lilipaddle Thu 11-Apr-13 19:32:58

While at secondary school, we used to walk along a busy road to get to school, and would get about 5-6+ beeps/calls out of vans so on each way most days. The disgusting thing was that as soon as we started 6th form, and were no longer in uniform, it dropped to 1-2 a week max.
Some men really have no morals.

aufaniae Thu 11-Apr-13 19:01:50

I can't stand wolf-whistling. I got unwanted attention a lot from men in the street, including wolf-whistling, from the age of 13, when I grew boobs. I was 13 FFS!

It says a lot about the typs of men who wolf-whistle that I stopped getting so much attention in the street once I hit my 20s, and then even less so once I started putting on weight.

Now I'm fat on the larger side and old I rarely get that kind of attention and it's a relief IMO.

Fucking slimeballs.

BedHanger Thu 11-Apr-13 18:39:39

I think I'm living proof that wolf whistling isn't a compliment on appearance. Seriously, just over a month post-partum, zero sleep, on my way back from the shops carrying my newborn and with precisely no interest in 'looking good' for anyone. It was all about the bloke showing how incredibly masculine he is hmm.

Thanks for the link mechanical, will check it out.

MechanicalTheatre Thu 11-Apr-13 18:28:47

would also be interested to hear the difference.

popebenedictsp45 Thu 11-Apr-13 18:24:03

karonski can you please outline the difference between a wolf whistle designed to be threatening and a wolf whistle designed to be fun? Is there some kind of audio guide I could listen to to discover the difference?

countrykitten Thu 11-Apr-13 18:08:38

karonski confused

Glad we got that cleared up then.

karonski Thu 11-Apr-13 17:33:43

No, lyingwitchinthewardrobe & mechanicaltheatre...I am quite capable of coming to my own conclusions because I have a brain (which I use) and I also have a sense of humour (which I also use). There's a world of difference between men (or women) using whistles/shouts/leers, etc in order to be threatening and abusive and a bit of fun that makes the world go round. It's important to be able to distinguish between the two. I can assure you that I have been pretty vocal on occasion when men have been inappropriate whether towards me or other women...but I know when something is meant in the spirit of lighthearted fun!

MechanicalTheatre Thu 11-Apr-13 17:22:57

Duelling, that's one woman though.

I wear make-up and heels too sometimes. Sometimes I pile on a ton of slap. Some days I wear none. Neither says anything about my self-esteem per se.

DuelingFanjo Thu 11-Apr-13 16:48:24

sorry Mechanical, I thought you were saying that because you found him unattractive you wouldn't give him the time of day. No offence intended.

DuelingFanjo Thu 11-Apr-13 16:46:04

and.. just to clarify I don't have a problem with heels or make-up. I wear both sometimes.

I guess I am talking about something like the recent story of a woman who had breast implants because she wanted to look like Jordan and be a model. She thought the larger breasts would make that kind of lifestyle and career more likely. I felt, reading the story, that her self-esteem was, frankly, fucked and she didn't even know it. She thought what she was doing was normal and worth doing, with no concept of how she had arrived at a place like that, making decisions like that.

MechanicalTheatre Thu 11-Apr-13 16:42:05

Duelling, er, well this is well off topic, but I think it was clear that I meant I didn't find him in any way attractive.

Not that I only talk to people who are attractive...not sure why you'd draw that conclusion.

MechanicalTheatre Thu 11-Apr-13 16:41:07

Oh RIIIIGHT, see I thought I hated being whistled at, but now I see that actually I hate NOT being whistled at.

Sorry all, my mistake.

Thanks karonski !!!!!!!!

DuelingFanjo Thu 11-Apr-13 16:40:15

"but if he came up to me in a club, I wouldn't give him the time of day."

because you only talk to people who are attractive? You would talk to him at least, depending on his approach?

I don't know who he is but so long as he wasn't invading my space and was pleasant to me I would at least give him the time of day!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 11-Apr-13 16:40:05

Did a man tell you that, karonski?

karonski Thu 11-Apr-13 16:34:48

lighten up! the men working on a construction site outside my office often smile , say hello, whistle....it's a_bit_of_fun!! and what's worse than being whistled at?...not being whistled at!

MechanicalTheatre Thu 11-Apr-13 16:31:35

ICBINEG, how on earth do you know that? I mean, how do you know they're doing it any more than anyone else? I have peer pressure to look a certain way because of my job but I don't see anyone looking down their nose at me because the way I dress is "respectable".

Don't get me wrong, I see there are issues with plastering yourself with make-up and wearing heels everywhere, but it doesn't sit easy with me to point the finger and act like all these girls are self-esteem vacuums with no agency.

ICBINEG Thu 11-Apr-13 16:26:02

mechanical they are doing it because of peer pressure from both men and women.

MechanicalTheatre Thu 11-Apr-13 16:16:17

Duelling, maybe those girls aren't doing it for men? Maybe they're doing it because that's the look they like/it's fashionable/it's what their friends are doing.

What is "genuinely attractive" anyway? Look at Benedict Cumberbatch. Loads of women fancy him but if he came up to me in a club, I wouldn't give him the time of day.

rustybusty Thu 11-Apr-13 16:12:31

I agree dueling if you need hair extensions or layers of make up the then your not genuinely attractive. I agree that look is ridiculous.

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