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AIBU?

to think it's unfair to be held responsible for DH's camera?

21 replies

Snowgirl1 · 02/04/2013 08:39

DH is keen on photography. He has a large, expensive camera. We went out as a family on Friday and he took his camera and put it in the shopping bag of the pram. When putting the pram back in the car, I took his camera out and put it in the rear foot well of the car and told him. This morning, as I was leaving for work, he suddenly realised he hadn't seen his camera and asked me where it was. I told him I didn't know, but said I thought I'd put it in the foot well when coming back from our day out. He asked me to check, which I did (but I forgot that we'd gone in a different car from usual looked in the wrong car) and told him it wasn't there. He literally SHOUTED out the door at me that I needed to "think about where you've put it as it's £XXX worth of camera". Anyway, he found the camera when he got into his car to go to work, so that's okay. But AIBU to be peed off that he's basically holding me responsible for his belongings? Or am I responsible for it because I'm the one who put it in the foot well? I feel like he was blaming me for losing his camera - if it's so precious/expensive he should take responsibility for its safekeeping. I feel like he should apologise, he doesn't agree. I know it's petty, but I'm interested to know whether I'm the one BU or he is.

OP posts:

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Altinkum · 02/04/2013 08:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 02/04/2013 08:43

He probably got a bit of a fright when he thought it had gone missing. Not nice to shout but if he's generally nice etc, I would just let it go

HeathRobinson · 02/04/2013 08:45

HIBU. You told him where it was, end of your responsibility.

HollyBerryBush · 02/04/2013 08:49

Six of one, half a dozen of the other

Snowgirl1 · 02/04/2013 09:04

Thanks. I didn't think I was the last one who'd had it - I assumed that he'd brought it back into the house on Friday ( that was 4 days ago), so was a bit [hmmm] at why he was shouting at me that I should think about where I'd put it, rather than please think about where it might be or please think about if I'd seen it around the house.

OP posts:

seeker · 02/04/2013 09:07

Adults don't shout at other adults. So he is being unreasonable.

But you were the last person to touch the camera, so you should have known where it was.

Sorted.

SavoyCabbage · 02/04/2013 09:07

He shouted because he panicked because an expensive thing that he really likes was lost. He should have gone to look for it when you told him where it was though.

dopeysheep · 02/04/2013 09:10

I hope he takes nice pictures. He should look.after the damn thing if it is so expensive not stuff it under the pram.

BettySuarez · 02/04/2013 09:10

The whereabouts of the camera isn't the issue here.

The way your DH shouted at you is unacceptable however.

seeker · 02/04/2013 09:15

"He shouted because he panicked because an expensive thing that he really likes was lost"
An expensive thing he really liked was lost. But he shouted because he is not an adult human being.

malteserzz · 02/04/2013 09:17

He shouldn't have shouted but unless he does it all the time I don't think it's a big deal. I've done similar myself in the heat of the moment then apologised later

Snowgirl1 · 02/04/2013 09:19

Savoy he did go to look for it when it told him where it was (he also looked in the wrong car!) - after I'd looked for it because obviously I wouldn't have done a thorough enough job

OP posts:

Snowgirl1 · 02/04/2013 09:21

He didn't say I hadn't done a thorough enough job in looking for it - that's just me interpreting his actions through the cloud of 'feeling miffed' emotion. I probably would've done the same thing.

OP posts:

Inertia · 02/04/2013 10:08

He should have put it away safely in the house when you first got back from the day trip. You told him at the time where you'd put it - he couldn't be bothered to listen.

Pandemoniaa · 02/04/2013 10:17

I have an expensive camera. It is my job to look after it. I suggest your dh takes similar responsibility for his.

Mia4 · 02/04/2013 10:20

Forget about it, he shouldn't have shouted at you but he was obviously panicked. I'd expect an apology but i also expect there has been or will be a time that you do or have done this to him over something.

If this is a common thing then next time you go out make a point and refuse to touch the camera or be responsible for it's wellbeing. If not, then forget it.

Longdistance · 02/04/2013 10:25

He is being vvvvvvv unreasonable.

I have one of these expensive cameras, which has its very own padded exensive bag which I have responsibility for. It's my camera, therefor my responsibility.

I don't get this, you had it rubbish. I remember so e friends a whole back, and the wife lost her purse, cos he had it it's her purse, she should look after it IMO.

Wishiwasanheiress · 02/04/2013 10:28

Apologise to each other, it's a 6:6 one. However, he def should go first as its his possession and his responsibility ultimately to have removed it from the car.. U dont put an expensive camera under a pram. Or in a footwell. My dh has one. I have similar situations.

:)

EmmelineGoulden · 02/04/2013 11:17

He is BU. You put it in the footwell of the car, you told him about it and he was comfortable with that as a place to leave it. So anything that happens to it is within the risks you both apparently found acceptable on Friday. The fact it couldn't be found on Monday wasn't because anyone had done anything that isn't normally considered OK by you both. It was just a bit of forgetfulness (by everyone).

If he's going to shout at you over it and not apologise when he realises, I'd be tempted to refuse to have anything to do with the camera in the future. But talking about it would be more mature.

FryOneFatManic · 02/04/2013 11:28

I don't think the OP is BU here, her DH is. He should apologise, it's his camera. She told him where she had put it, she wasn't responsible for it after that, if she was ever responsible for it. He should be making sure he knows where it is.

InSearchOfPerfection · 02/04/2013 11:42

Well I don't tend to think in 'his' things and 'my' things anyway so I would have felt responsible for the camera whilst it was in the pram.

However, when looking for the camera 4 days later, then I would have expected him to
1- start looking for it himself
2- then ask for help when he couldn't find it and then for him to look in the car himself
3- when he couldn't find it in the car, to come back and ask again of you had any idea.
Tbh if that was such an expensive camera and something that is vet important to him, I would have expected him to check it was safely back in the house. Not to wait four days and then have a strip just before going to work.

What stands out for me us how little responsibility he is taking towards looking after the camera.
Btw did he help you unloading the car that day?

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