to think you won't want to go diving 3 weeks after giving birth

(157 Posts)
ParadiseChick Sun 31-Mar-13 20:30:06

That's right, diving. On a pretty much restarted island. 5 hours drive away from your baby...

My darljng, crazy sister is 39 and expecting her first baby in July. She lives in south east Asia with her dh, both British but been out there for 7 years now. Charmed life, big income, large house, live in maid etc etc.

I've just got back from my mums who had her weekly Skype with ds is this morning. Mum has booked to go out to my sister's about 3 weeks after the baby is due to meet the baby, see my sister and help out. Today my sister asked mum if she would look after the baby for 3 nights whilst they go on a diving trip.

Sis and her dh are seasoned, experienced divers and pre pregnancy would be away on dive trips once a month. She's obviously itching to do it again as she hasn't been able to whilst pregnant.

She's planning to bf but will express.

The island they dive on is a 4 hour drive and 30 minutes on a boat. It is pretty much deserted apart from the dive club, only has power a few hours a day when the generator is put on to refill the tanks. I've been, it's stunning, but bloody cut off!

Mum is going out on her own, isn't that confident in the country, sticks to their pool and whatever restaurant the y drive her to of an evening. She'd be happier in an exclusive beach resort but hasn't had a holiday like that for years because she goes out to see dsis every year.

Mum said no. She's happy to look after the baby so they can go out for a meal or whatever but not 3 nights with a new born n a country isn't familiar with or confident in.

Sis took the higher and said something along the line of but you look after paradise kids. Yes, she's had ours overnight on a regular basis from about 12 weeks but we're 30minutes down the road on the end of a phone if need be.

All that aside - wtf? Diving? 3 weeks post birth I still felt like my insides were falling out if I walked any longer than 10 minutes and a bra hurt never mind a fucking wet suit!

Want2bSupermum Fri 05-Apr-13 12:02:42

Very happy to hear that others have not had their DH run off with the help. I have seen it happen....

As for not being vunerable, words fail me. It is how a lot of women feel who are giving birth in a foregin country where often they either don't speak, or don't have a strong command of the local language. It isn't just the giving birth part, it is the aftermath of figuring out your new family. It is a lot easier when you have family close by.

I put out there things that might be going through the OP sisters head. It doesn't mean that they are happening. While it is probable that the OP's sister is naieve with regards to post baby life, it is possible that there is something else going on. It wouldn't be right to not put it out there as the OP is obviously, and IMO quite rightly, concerned for her sister.

ParadiseChick Fri 05-Apr-13 18:54:09

Want2 I found your posts interesting. My dsis went out there with work, still works and met her dh out there who is also an expat. I think on that basis they are more on an even n keel although I know how much I benefited from my family and I think it's dawning on her that she won't have that network of support.

Want2bSupermum Sat 06-Apr-13 02:01:26

Paradise That is what happened with DH and I. We were both moved out here for work and met in Hoboken, NJ through a mutual friend. To others we look like we are on an even keel but that is only because I hold my own.

That network of support is what I really miss. DH left on Weds for 10 days to Europe and will be home for 6 hrs before he flies off to Dallas for another 3 days. DD has her tubes going in on Tuesday. Thank goodness my PIL are coming over to help me with DD. DS will be 6 weeks on Monday and has horrible reflux. I know my PIL will be watching him as closely as I do and I especially trust my MIL not to lose her temper with him after 5+ hours of nonstop screaming. I couldn't leave him with a non family member. Our friends all have young children so fitting him in is really quite hard and given the way he screams I just don't feel comfortable leaving him with hired help.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Sun 07-Apr-13 01:41:57

where often they either don't speak, or don't have a strong command of the local language.

She lives in Sing. They speak English. They're wealthy. She can afford an army of help. You can get western or local nannies in Sing plus mat nurses etc etc. It'll be fine.

SybilRamkin Sun 07-Apr-13 12:45:45

RichMan, I think you're being unnecessarily rude. Want2 has explained what she meant.

Want2bSupermum Mon 08-Apr-13 18:13:38

Richman At this point I don't think you are adding value but simply attacking for the sake of it. Clearly you had a different experience and I am very happy for you that your transition to parenthood was problem free.

My only hope is that the OP's sister does not risk her health by diving so soon after the birth of her child.

and that your husband doesn't run away with your maid wink

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