to think MIL shouldn't teach DS that throwing a tantrum is how to get what he wants?

(181 Posts)
TickTockGoesTheClock Sun 31-Mar-13 18:53:35

A few things to set the context...

DS is three. I've been quite strict in what he eats - he's only had chocolate a handful of times (and the majority of those times were through nursery slip-ups) and until this year, we hadn't bought him an Easter egg. This is the first time I have actually bought and gave him chocolate.

Right, so this afternoon we went to the in-laws. Everyone knows DS isn't allowed chocolate/junk/etc. When we arrived, MIL and FIL said they'd bought DS an Easter egg - I said we'd already got him one, but thanks anyway, DH can eat it.

Later on, MIL decides to present the Easter egg to DS. I explained to DS that he already had half an Easter egg already today, and he can have the rest of the one we bought him later on when we get home. DS was a bit moany, but wasn't too bothered so I put the egg in my bag. MIL chirps in, asking where the Easter egg is, and said "DS you should say, 'I want my Easter egg!' and stamp your feet. Then Mummy will give it to you" hmm She didn't leave it at that, she started looking around for the Easter egg, continuing to encourage DS to throw a strop and saying "don't listen to Mummy, Grandma said you can have it". She only stopped when her mother gave her a stare and changed the topic to distract DS.

AIBU to think whether or not you agree with my parenting rules, you shouldn't try and show me up in front of DS and encourage him to rebel against me?

microserf Mon 01-Apr-13 23:25:52

Oh I know this thread should just die, but i just read the last couple of self satisfied posts from the op and I couldn't sign off without saying to the op - you created the situation. You are part of the problem. You will not get anywhere with your dhs family until you figure that out.

Honestly, I really don't know why you posted in aibu. You are being unreasonable, and very smug about it indeed.

She was unreasonable........ but you were downright rude and sound like a joyless pain in the arse.

ll31 Tue 02-Apr-13 07:54:17

Having read they thread again, still think yabvu in your rudeness. Yes mil was unreasonable too, but your attitude to her was very and unnecessarily rude.

GummyAdams Tue 02-Apr-13 08:16:08

I posted on the other chocolate thread that PIL bought DS (11months) an egg. He is intolerant to dairy and it makes him quite uncomfortable and ill, but they still asked (as if it were me that was the problem,) if he'd be 'allowed' to have any. I just said thank-you very much, took it and DH ate it later.
I will probably reiterate later that he won't be having milk chocolate, or any dairy, but I will wait until another time.
It sounds as if there's some bad feeling between you and MIL which is unpleasant for both of you, so I'd be tackling that tbh.

HubbaHubbaHubbaInHoobLand Tue 02-Apr-13 15:51:25

YABU to refuse the egg! Let children be children and let them have occasional treats ffs.

The MIL was being unreasonable undermining you like that. But perhaps she was pissed off you refused the egg she had bought.

sue52 Tue 02-Apr-13 15:59:44

Your MIL was in the wrong but you were being very rude to her. I think it quite normal for a grandparent to give a her grandchild an egg at easter and you were ungracious to say you would give it to your DH instead.

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