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My friends 4 year old trashed Ds bedroom and broke his expensive birthday toy.

(298 Posts)
Cannierelax Thu 28-Mar-13 12:07:22

AIBU to want some form of compensation for the broken toy? Perhaps a replacement or even a similair but cheaper toy. My Ds is 5.5 and my friends Dd is 4.5. When i told my friend Ds was really upset she said, well that's what kids do. Em, not my child. Aibu? My friend was there when this happened and gave her Dd a row. She knew that the toy was broken but I said I would get DH to try and mend it. I've just messaged her saying DH Was not able to repair it at this point. At this point she stated that's what children do. I messaged back that it was a birthday gift he was looking forward to for several months. She hasn't messaged back.

EarlyInTheMorning Thu 28-Mar-13 12:20:18

Sorry but how does a city lego toy 'break'? Lego is pretty much indestructible. If you just need to build it together but have lost instructions look in the Lego website and they'll re-send them to you or you can download them. It sounds to me like nothing was really broken.

spiritedaway Thu 28-Mar-13 12:20:28

Sorry but i think UABU to some extent. . I don't really think a child would know not to dismantle lego or to keep the bricks separate. . Would they? If possible you need to replace the toy for your son then keep it safe for him. Maybe you could email lego and get instructions or some replacement bits? Trashing the room is out of order. Hope she made her kids help tidy or helped you herself.

DiscoDonkey Thu 28-Mar-13 12:20:34

We have a ridiculous amount of Lego, one of dh's favourite past times is sitting there for hours finding instructions and making up sets hmm

Shall I send him round?

initially i thought ywnbu.

but now i read it's lego - get hold of the instructions and rebuild. i can see why she's a bit confused

SirBoobAlot Thu 28-Mar-13 12:20:57

I think you're unreasonable to expect someone to replace something that cost that much, frankly. You might have been able to buy that for your DS, but there was a chance it would get broken, either by him or someone else, and not everyone can just make £70 appear. And if it's lego, you can get the instructions elsewhere to rebuild it.

HotelFromage Thu 28-Mar-13 12:21:02

If you go to the Lego website you can search for the correct instructions . You just need the code from the front of the box, which you can also find on the website by browsing the products. There is a full list, with pictures, of the parts in the instructions too, so you can fish the correct ones out of the mixed Lego.

Ds is a Lego fanatic and often downloads the instructions to a set he hasn't got and just improvises for the pieces he doesn't have.

If you are near me ( west lancs) I can dispatch ds to help rebuild the toy.

currentbuns Thu 28-Mar-13 12:22:02

YABU - and overly dramatic - to describe this as "breaking" a toy, which is completely misrepresenting what actually happened. Most Lego ends up disassembled at some point - certainly in this household. Find the instructions online and rebuild it.

McKayz Thu 28-Mar-13 12:22:21

If its Lego then surely it can just be rebuilt? Find the instructions online and have a family evening making it.

HotelFromage Thu 28-Mar-13 12:22:30

X-post with 20 people!

Bloody hell - DSs lego often gets broken up and mixed up when his friends are here - thats what lego is for surely????

It is not broken at all, rather just dismantled woudn't you say - the very most I would do is get my hands on some instructions for you and offer to rebuild it if I were your friend but really you need to learn to put things out of the way if your DS is so precious about them when smalled children are visiting.

Just look on line for the instructions to build it again or ring Lego - their customer service is very good.

I didn't know you could 'break' lego confused

Yes it will be a PITA to reassemble but you can do it. I'm wondering now if your friend may have offered to replace the toy if it had been something that really was 'broken' rather than just taken apart....

And I would remember not to invite the friend with the annoying 4 year old round again - I have friends like that and they just don't get invited round very often!

BeaWheesht Thu 28-Mar-13 12:23:29

So she hasn't broken it then? She's disassembled it. My ds would never play with Lego as it was assembled - always took it apart to experiment - that's not destructive that's a different way of playing. I don't think she should replace it because its not broken.

Also please don't leave fragile favourite toys out if your son doesn't want it getting taken apart. Fwiw until I knew it was Lego I was all for her being massively apologetic and I'd have been fuming had it been my kids.

spiritedaway Thu 28-Mar-13 12:23:35

"Sorry but" X post with Early smile

currentbuns Thu 28-Mar-13 12:23:37

Oh, and if you want to keep Lego assembled, glue the pieces together with superglue. DS1 did this with various Star Wars sets.

I was going to post what others have. Download the instructions from the internet and rebuild it. Online instructions have been a godsend in our house after random lego vehicles have been trashed and the bits mixed together.

mumofweeboys Thu 28-Mar-13 12:24:17

"It was a Lego city toy. It cost £70. DH was unable to rebuild it as the girl left it in pieces and mixed it in with a bucket full of Lego. Also we didn't have instructions left for it."

Does it mean its not actually broken, it just needs putting back together again?

here is a link for building instructions for lego toys - http://service.lego.com/en/buildinginstructions/

If its a you decribed, non of the actual peices were broken that the lego was just taken apart and can be rebuilt then perhaps your friend thinks your being ott.

sleepyhead Thu 28-Mar-13 12:24:17

Oh yes, if you were near me I'd be round in a flash to sort it out - I looove a Lego challenge grin

If you actually have pieces missing rather than mixed up with other bits you can also buy individual replacements from Lego. It's a rip off as the postage is about a fiver and each piece is only about 15p, but a hell of a lot cheaper than £70 for a new set.

TheBigJessie Thu 28-Mar-13 12:24:22

I thought you weren't being unreasonable, but now I can see your friend's point of view. If I was your friend, I would have been very cross with my daughter (mixing up lego sets... Tch <twitch> ) but I would probably have passive-aggressively supplied you with the instructions after that last message you sent.

PoppyWearer Thu 28-Mar-13 12:24:40

I've had to deal with a trashed bedroom before, courtesy of a visitor's child. angry

The child is still allowed to visit (sadly no way around that) but the new rule is that they cannot go upstairs. Luckily I still have lockable stair gates up for DC2 and can enforce it. They have to stay downstairs and play with DC2's "baby" toys until I can trust the other child again.

I feel sorry for your DS but I'm sure you can rebuild it, eventually.

ubik Thu 28-Mar-13 12:24:40

It's Lego!
I thought you were talking about a playstation or something...

Lego is made to be disassembled and mixed up, not preserved like some sort of museum piece! It seems odd fir the child to get a row for playing with Lego in a way which children have for generations.

No wonder other mother is hmm

TippiShagpile Thu 28-Mar-13 12:24:48

I had a friend's 3 year old round for a couple of hours recently while she had a hospital appointment and he destroyed ds1's (age 8) current lego model and mixed it in with other bits of lego. Similar sort of price and ds1 was gutted (he'd saved up for months). I didn't ask the mother for the money/ a replacement because I felt it was probably my fault as I had forgotten that 3 year olds generally do stuff like this.

A 4.5 year old shouldn't do things like this but I don't know what you can do about it as technically it isn't actually broken, just hard to put back together.

Have a look on line for the instructions - you can usually get them somewhere.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Thu 28-Mar-13 12:24:58

Some kids see lego as something that you take apart and rebuild....others don't.

However it's a shame your friend wasn't kinder.

In future, make rules VERY clear...and don't leave kids you do not trust upstairs with no adult about. I always put precious things away when playdates are due.

Cannierelax Thu 28-Mar-13 12:24:59

Do U think it would be reasonable for me to ask her to replace it?

spiritedaway Thu 28-Mar-13 12:25:09

Haha. . X post frenzy!

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 28-Mar-13 12:25:30

If it's been taken apart, it's not broken.

Kids will take lego apart. Isn't that what it's for? Taking apart and then building?!

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