To ask you about your/others you know well memories of being bfed?

(49 Posts)
k2togm1 Mon 25-Mar-13 15:15:53

Ds just turned two. He still bf lots and shows no signs of wanting to stop. I am happy to carry on, but DH is wondering what happens when ds can remember it long term.
We didn't get to finish the conversation so not sure what his issue is, but he asked me how I would feel if I remembered being bfed, and I don't know, perhaps my relationship with my mum would be better, or not, I don't think it's something one can imagine accurately, so i wanted to ask you. Do you remember being bfed? If so, what does it mean to you now? Even more interested in men who remember it!

Annunziata Mon 25-Mar-13 15:19:04

I can't remember being fed at all, and mum fed me until I was about two. I have a great relationship with her though.

None of mine can remember it either. (wee toerags, do they not know how I suffered!)

PenelopeChipShop Mon 25-Mar-13 15:22:22

I was apparently breastfed to a year old and don't remember it at all! One of my friends fed both hers til they were 4. They're older now and apparently neither of them remember! So tell your DH that :-)

livinginwonderland Mon 25-Mar-13 15:23:02

i don't remember it at all.

DeWe Mon 25-Mar-13 15:23:35

I bf dd1 until she was just gone 3yo. She's 12 yo and has no memories of being bf.
Dd2 also has no memories of being bf-she was about 2.6yo when i stopped.
Ds was about 3.6yo. I fed him for longer as he had bad ear infections that the only thing he would ear/drink during was bf. He's nearly 6yo, and, yes, he does remember something. I think he remembers it as a nice cuddly time rather than specifically what happened. When he's ill he wants to lie with his head across me like he was bfing, and I cuddle him close, which gives him some comfort. I don't think it's effected our relationship at all, he's very loving and warm towards me.

RubyrooUK Mon 25-Mar-13 15:25:04

I was breastfed until I was two or so. I can't remember it at all although I can remember snatches of other memories from that age.

I just always knew my mum and I were very close and felt very physically comfortable with her (lots of cuddling, curling up with her, stroking her hair) throughout childhood which may be to do with the breastfeeding or not. Who knows?

My own son fed until a toddler but already can't remember a year later although he can remember lots of places we went and so on. Again, he is very physically comfortable with me - always cuddling on my lap, stroking my face and hair...but that may just be his personality.

So essentially I can be no help to you here. grin

topsyandturvy Mon 25-Mar-13 16:23:50

Well, I doubt he will remember in the longer run, and I have no idea exactly what my ds remembers, but I stopped just over a year ago when he was 2, and at 3 he still remembers, "I like Mummys milkie" (meant in the past tense but he is to small to say it properly!!) said with satisfied smile, slightly glazed eyes and acting snuggly. Also if he is tired or sad he will try to snuggle up inside my top by rummaging his way up from the bottom - he has no intention whatsoever to try and have milk, but he associates that close physical contact with feeling good and snug.

LiegeAndLief Mon 25-Mar-13 16:26:38

I bf dd until she was 2.5. She's now 3.5 and I'm pretty sure she doesn't remember it at all.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Mon 25-Mar-13 16:30:25

My ds2 fed until.nearly four years, he is now ten ans can remember bfeeding. Just as cuddly time, he remembers getting into bed with me to feed in the mornings. Its not something that comes up very often and he certainly isnt bothered by it.

I was fed until 12 weeks when I was weaned so don't remember, I think it would be a strange thing to remember and its not a particularly nice thought.

I can't imagine any of my children remember being bf since I also weaned them at about 16-20 weeks.

Your DH is probably just concerned about how it might feel as a teen or an adult to remember but I don't think they remember that far back once older.

k2togm1 Mon 25-Mar-13 17:03:42

I'm sure some people remember, surely if you are bfed till 4, for example?
I guess dh feels he would find it disturbing to remember his own dm bfing him, but my thoughts are that it should be the norm, not the exception, that you grow up to regard breasts as the apparent dictonomy they are, both utilitarian and playthings, plus with the knowledge of mothers being nurturing, etc. I'm not saying if you bottle feed you won't be this, just that bfing is the norm, at least evolutionarily, and men in more 'traditional' societies don't have problems with remembering their mums breasts (just guessing).
I actually wanted ds to remember, as this has been such a big part of our relationship so far, is this weird?

dinkystinky Mon 25-Mar-13 17:07:54

Ds1 bf to 18 months, ds2 to 27 months - they both chose when to stop and I don't think they have any particular memories of it. I am pregnant with dc3 - ds1 remembers seeing ds2 being bf but had to explain to ds2 what bfing is.

Tailtwister Mon 25-Mar-13 17:23:58

I bf DS1 until he was just over 3 and I've just asked him if he remembers it and he doesn't (he's just turned 5).

Both my sons were fed til 2.5/3 and neither remember it at all now at 4 and 6.

k2togm1 Mon 25-Mar-13 17:47:36

So maybe I'm wrong and they don't remember? grin

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Mon 25-Mar-13 18:02:40

Ds2 does remember and a friends little boy who fed till four yrs also remembers.

Its just not something that comes up.in conversation.

My FIL remembers as it was just after WW2 (when rationing was still enforced) and all the mums came to the school and breastfed their 5 year olds through the railings.

He's not scarred by the memory at all.

MummytoKatie Mon 25-Mar-13 21:40:51

I fed dd until 2.3. She's 3 this week. So I stopped less than 9 months ago.

She doesn't remember. When I was breastfeeding her she used to breastfeed her doll but now she bottle feeds her.

And I am pregnant and she has talked about giving the baby his bottle. I've explained that the baby will have milk from mummy - not a bottle but she just looks confused. I have also told her that she used to have "milk from mummy" but she says she doesn't remember.

Ironically the month before we went on holiday to Menorca . She remembers that really well.

I wonder if seeing me feed the baby will remind her.

k2togm1 Mon 25-Mar-13 21:49:27

Wow what an image!! Through the railings!!
Have spoken to dh and found out his worry isn't remembering as such, but more getting to school while still bfing and being picked at due to it. How paranoid.
I hope ds shows the same closeness you guys have talked about once he weans.

k2togm1 Mon 25-Mar-13 21:50:59

X posted, I bet she'll go back to bfing her doll when the baby comes! How lovely!

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 25-Mar-13 21:54:28

This is not an AIBU.
In fact it's not even Chat.
I't's the BF/FF thread you need, I think it's that way>>>.

Vijac Mon 25-Mar-13 21:54:34

Lol at the fogs!

MightTinge Mon 25-Mar-13 21:55:04

Do you feel sad that she doesnt remember MummytoKatie?

My brother was bf until he was 2, he says he thinks he remembers.

The thing is, when something is discussed enough its difficult to tell whether its a true memory, or an idea of he past built on what people have said.

Im still bf my 22 month old and probably will be when he's 3. I think he'll remember.

Also MummytoKatie we tend to remember things that stand out, that are out of the ordinary. A holiday is very excitingly out of the ordinary, where as bf would have been a perfectly normal and regular thing so doesnt stand out enough for her to remember.

Morloth Mon 25-Mar-13 21:56:32

I don't remember breastfeeding myself (and mum was one of those feed until self weaned types so I was probably at least 2).

I can remember my baby brother feeding though and he was walking.

I am also very close to my mum.

noteventhebestdrummer Mon 25-Mar-13 22:01:00

Asked DS if he remembered and he said 'Ohh it was like chocolate milk! So sweet!'

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