DH's sister has been telling pil I am financially abusing my husband, hoard all the money and control all the finances. I'm annoyed with the whole situation and want DH to explain to his family, unfortunately DH thinks this is funny and doesn't think our finances are anyone elses business which I also get!
This all came about because DH was looking to buy something online at sisters house. He siad he wouldn't buy it because he would have to check with me and ask me to transfer money to his account. On the whole this is true, but it painted a very wrong picture. DH and I share 3 joint accounts, a main one where all money goes into it, a 'fun' account which we use for internet purchases, treats etc and a savings account. Thats it, no credit cards, no store cards, no personal accounts.
DH doesn't ever look online at our accounts, doesn't know how to access them, won't pay bills etc. He leaves all the bills, including his personal tax etc, to me, he doesn't even open them. So I am left to deal with everything. The only card he wants is to access our 'fun' account so he can buy the odd thing or two, but as this account is topped up as needed, yes he ends up asking me if there is enough money in there. He has no idea about our savings unless I tell him, he just isn't interested.
I do always tell him what we have and where, when we need to cut back etc, what bills come in. I do all his accounts (self employed business) and sort all his invoices/ payments. This works for us as he hates anything to do with money and I am better at being organised. I always want him to take on more responsibility for our money as I worry what would happen if something happen to me. I've given him all the passwords to the online banking, he won't use them, I keep trying to get him to order new pin for the main account but he isn't interested.
Now his family think I control everything and criticise me for it, but it isn't by choice. they've really got a bee in their bonnet about it and I want to explain to them but at the same time don't think I should have to defend myself and our finances are none of their business!!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Apparently I am 'financially abusive', am I?
15 replies
YellowFishy · 22/03/2013 19:33
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.