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AIBU?

to think it's inappropriate for DD to share a bed/room with a boy twice her age?

287 replies

princessj29 · 20/03/2013 22:25

DD is only just 5. She sees her father every other weekend. He has a girlfriend who has a ten year old brother who often sleeps over when DD is there. Her father bought a bunk bed for her room with a double bed on the bottom, which she says they usually share. There is another spare room in the house so no need for them to share rooms let alone beds IMO. She spoke about his 'bits pointing up' when he woke last week and I feel very uncomfortable about them sharing a bed/room. AIBU?

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TeamEdward · 20/03/2013 22:27

This reply has been deleted

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pigletmania · 20/03/2013 22:27

Yanbu at all. I would have a serious talk with your ex. If he refuses to change the sleeping arrangement I would not te dd go there wtf is he playing at. Teir is another safe room for godske

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hwjm1945 · 20/03/2013 22:28

No.this is a non related young boy who may be onset of puberty at any time.for his protection as well as your daughters they should be in separate rooms.

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pigletmania · 20/03/2013 22:28

Meant spare

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Edgarallen · 20/03/2013 22:28

YANBU

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pigletmania · 20/03/2013 22:30

Even if related t is nt appropriate as there s another spare room

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MrsTerryPratchett · 20/03/2013 22:30

YANBU. Inappropriate.

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mum382013 · 20/03/2013 22:30

i would say it was a cp issue so yanbu

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princessj29 · 20/03/2013 22:31

I've told him I'm not happy before, he insists that as he knows the boy and I don't it's up to him to judge.

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b4bunnies · 20/03/2013 22:32

it is abusive or potentially abusive so put a stop to it.

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steppemum · 20/03/2013 22:35

doesn't matter if he knows the boy or not. 10 yo boy sharing bed with 5 year old girl isn't appropriate.

it isn't fair on the boy either.

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ThisIsMummyPig · 20/03/2013 22:36

That's badly wrong.

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pigletmania · 20/03/2013 22:36

It is I would nt allow her to stay there if it continues t is a potential child protection issue. Teir is no need for your dd to share a bed with this boy. Why te hell are they sharing when there is a spare room Hmm

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PomBearWithAnOFRS · 20/03/2013 22:37

It makes no difference whether he knows the boy or not - it's not even necessarily that this child would do anything to your daughter out of malice or "abusiveness" - it's that something could happen without either of them understanding or knowing just what they were doing or why they shouldn't be, and the consequences could rip your family and your XHs girlfriends's family apart.
Surely he can see this? It's not just your DDs protection, it's the boy's too - they are both children who need to be looked out for and kept safe in every way. Obviously your concern is for your DD, but I am amazed the girlfriend is happy with such an arrangement for her 10 yr old brother Confused -surely the potential for damage/disaster is obvious?

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pigletmania · 20/03/2013 22:38

This sounds a bit off really what the hellis your ex paying at. Why would a boy of that age want to share a bed with a little girl

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TheChaoGoesMu · 20/03/2013 22:38

Absolutely not. How did she see his bits anyway? It would be separate rooms or not going at all if it was me. For the protection of both of them.

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pigletmania · 20/03/2013 22:39

I agree with pombear, put it better than I did

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princessj29 · 20/03/2013 22:39

What about bedroom? AIBU to say they should sleep in separate rooms altogether? Although they'd still watch films in bed together which also worries me as ex lets her watch the boys choice of film - usually transformers - which is a bit sexy ( not to mention scary!)

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pigletmania · 20/03/2013 22:41

Yes separate bedrooms. I would be having serious wrds to ex about what films she's watching

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pigletmania · 20/03/2013 22:41

There is a spare bedroom so she r he should go there

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princessj29 · 20/03/2013 22:43

Bits were visible through PJ's she said. Feel sorry for boy too as she said he covered his eyes when she randomly dropped her trousers to go for a wee and that he locks himself in the bathroom to get dressed so he's obviously conscious of things.

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GaryBarlowsPants · 20/03/2013 22:44

YANBU - totally agree with Pombear, and would definitely insist on separate rooms, or DD would be picked up before bedtime.

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AThingInYourLife · 20/03/2013 22:44

Separate bedrooms. And separate films too.

Are they using the 10 year old to babysit your daughter while they shag?

This is seriously weird.

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pigletmania · 20/03/2013 22:45

No no no the adults should not ut these Chidren in that situation, totally wrong

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ClippedPhoenix · 20/03/2013 22:45

Im sure the little boy is lovely but I'd still go for separate rooms even with brothers and sisters. I can't understand why your ex can't see this?

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