To be slightly annoyed by the phase 'work hard and get on'

(169 Posts)
LittleTurtle Wed 20-Mar-13 14:00:39

on the budget speech.

Apparently in reference to SAHM.

The newspapers were slating PM's use of this phrase all today. That SAHM would be excluded from receiving child care support because they do not want to work hard and get on.

I was mostly surprised that the chancellor used this exact same phrase at the budget speech today. I thought they would just erase it after the papers raised concerns from parents about it.

I just find it insulting that people generally think SAHM don't do anything, but just lounge around at home.

jojomo Thu 21-Mar-13 21:57:24

Thanks Zookiemay! Sorry I have to go!

Zookiemay Thu 21-Mar-13 21:57:25

Soultrain, who really thinks that we would go back to a society where women are condemned for working outside the home when married or have a family? Now that is simplistic, shortsighted and more than a little hysterical.

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 21:57:36

But what's good for your children, may not work for mine. I mean that in a broad society sense, not to you personally JoJo.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:58:55

google it. I'll link later when not on a mobile phone.
There's plenty of evidence. Separation anxiety, attachment disorder, depression in later life, violence, boys in nursery settings. Google Dr. Carole Ulanowsky.
You can hope that a kid is as well cared for in a nursery, but unless they're being a used, every kid is better off at home. Every one.

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 21:59:07

I don't understand your point Zookie, sorry.

Zookiemay Thu 21-Mar-13 22:00:04

Oh, and what is wrong with being idealistic?

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:01:01

JoJo, what's better for the children is to have a sahp. That's not always possible, so the next best thing is a grandparent or childminder. Hurts feelings to say it, but pretending that daycare is equal to the care of parents is offensive and wrong.

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 22:02:57

No thanks weewifey, just from your description of the research I can see it would be entirely biased and based to support one style of parenting. I hope you're not friends with anyone who has to work, what a horrendous show they'd have to see that's what you actually believe. Or heavens forbid, have to work yourself. Think I'm done here hmm

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 22:06:54

Zookie - being idealistic is lovely, but in politics and a modern society, it's simply just not going to ever happen.

Anyway, must dash, off for a quick wine - work in the morning for me. shock

Zookiemay Thu 21-Mar-13 22:11:47

I think that working or stay at home, most parents are trying to do the best for their families and I don't believe that one way is better than the other.
This isn't a debate over which is better, I have been both.

This is a request for a fairer society.

This idealist hippy is off to bed now. Love and peace to all smile

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:15:55

I've worked too, used holiday clubs and childminders. But these daycare providers were always inferior to the care I gave. They were happier and better cared for by me, no question of it. It hurts the feelings of some working parents to say this, and some seem so hellbent on justifying the 'career' they can easily pretend their childminder or nursery is better for their child than they are. It's just not true though. I'm sick of women and men being force fed this new default setting for parents, and the idea that stay at home parents are oppressed minorities with 1950s style sensibilities.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:21:54

anyway, I agree that sahp's have been sidelined. I think the government is hoping to make daycare for all children from 6 months + compulsory. I'm waiting for them to fuck about with maternity leave next. Breastfeeding, bonding with your child? Pah, that's for wimps.
Man up.
Or Lean In.
It will backfire eventually though, just as almost enforced cheap daycare has backfired in Sweden.

KidderminsterKate Thu 21-Mar-13 22:35:24

nope still don't get it.

I'm a lone parent who works full time. I work hard and get on. People can't get subsidised childcare so they can clean in peace or go to the gym......how on earth is that logical.

and I don't think there should be tax breaks for Sahp....you already get free healthcare and education for children plus police force, fire brigade, etc...all paid for from taxe

KatyTheCleaningLady Thu 21-Mar-13 22:36:02

What's gone wrong in Sweden?

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:45:08

what's gone wrong in Sweden?
They miss their children, is what.
And tired of being told they must work and leave kids in full time daycare.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:51:20

Sweden, where you can drop your kid in a 'night nursery.''
http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21784716

The much hated (on Mumsnet) phrase
'why have 'em
springs to mind.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 23:18:28
Mum2Luke Fri 22-Mar-13 00:18:44

I am a SAHM and also working as a dinner lady in a local school kitchen during term times so I can look after my child (nearly 11) as I cannot afford to go out full-time until he is old enough to be at home full-time and even then will there be any jobs? In my area of Greater Manchester there are hundreds going for the same job I used to be an OFSTED Registered Childminder for 19 years but local nurseries were offering 'free' childcare places which I could not offer.
I watched 'This Morning' tonight as I missed it due to me being at work and this snobby woman was implying that SAHMs sat at home in their slippers!!!! Doesn't she have children? Does she not know that raising your own children is a hard job too? The fact that people such as her look down their noses at people like us who look after OUR OWN CHILDREN!

I used to get parents phoning to see if their child/ren were ok, worried that they may be crying. I don't know what people think childminders do all day but we feed, entertain, teach and love your little ones as well as doing the paperwork that the EYFS demands in our own time, time WE should be spending with our families. We have to go on First Aid and Safeguarding courses as well as many others and many of my friends are studying for Early Years Degrees We do NOT sit around drinking coffee and tea all day.

Rant over

Mum2Luke Fri 22-Mar-13 00:24:17

@weewifey40 - of course they were happier, they were with YOU, their mother!! angry.

Some people do not have the luxury of being able to stay at home with their child and some don't have Grandparents or any family nearby to help either.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now