My stepdaughter - earlyish twenties - moved back in with us in August. Her late teens and time at university had been a bit turbulent, as her relationship with her mother has been up and down.
Essentially it's worked pretty well having her back, but her boyfriend's visits can be a bit trying. As he lives in another part of the country, when he comes to stay it's for several days. My stepdaughter doesn't seem to like asking if it's okay for him to come - so sometimes his arrival has just been announced. Her boyfriend also sometimes changes his plans. Either we don't know when he is going to leave or then it is announced that he will be staying an extra day or so.
On the one hand he is pleasant and friendly and wants to get stuck in. On the other hand he is a bit loud and full of himself. The house always seems more crowded when he is there, larger meals have to be cooked, laptops suddenly appear on crowded kitchen surfaces and are constantly being used even if the TV/DVD player is also on - and we get to hear a great deal about his business ventures. (My stepdaughter is very keen on him and they will probably get married.)
At the moment we are in the middle of a hugely stressful time involving my elderly father-in-law - not resident but nearby - who is not taking good care of himself, and who is being demanding and rude. We are exhausted by dealing with him. My stepdaughter is due back this weekend at a time when the crisis with my father-in-law is coming to a head. We haven't seen her for six weeks because she's had a placement abroad and then gone to see her boyfriend for a few days. She wanted to bring her boyfriend back for the weekend.
Having initially said yes, we thought about it some more - and for the first time have said no. We would really like to spend the little bit of spare energy we have catching up with her, before she resumes her course on Monday, rather than having to be hospitable to her boyfriend too.
What do other people do about the partners/boyfriends/girlfriends of young adult children?
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AIBU?
No, the boyfriend can't stay.
46 replies
FrauMoose · 20/03/2013 12:30
OP posts:
ProphetOfDoom ·
20/03/2013 20:17
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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