To confess I don't donate to charity

(130 Posts)
VAVAV00M Tue 19-Mar-13 02:32:18

Not because I'm evil, I just don't trust them.

The only 'charitable' things I do is donate to church, I'm brownie group leader, help out at the local stables and students who need very hard to get but needed work experience for my line if work.

Am I going to hell?

I've just been made to feel guilty by not donating to RND by peers.

I honestly won't donate until they have a list on the website showing every penny spent and where it ha gone.

BrokenBritain Tue 19-Mar-13 08:05:49

That was to confused and arse btw

MrsDeVere Tue 19-Mar-13 08:09:17

I have worked for lots of charities over the years.
I have never earned over the average wage and sometimes much less than the minimum (yeah, looking at you RSPCA)

There was a time in the 90s when all the bright young things would head straight from University into the charity sector. This could result in a hell of a lot of people who had no interest in the cause working high up in the agency. They would move around the sector and each move meant a higher wage.

I worked for a women only organisation in Camden. The director was the sort of woman who goes all wobbly and squeaky when in the presence of a man, disliked other women intensely and ha a pathological fear of children. So she resisted any attempts to arrange services for parents (about 90% of our users were single parents).

WTF was she doing in charge of a woman's organisation? hmm

Don't get me started on people who work in the disability field whose only experience is 'oh yes I knew a chap at school with one leg. Great bloke' hmm

But further down the pay scale are the real workers but they not generally valued and certainly not head hunted the way the CEO used to be.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Tue 19-Mar-13 08:35:24

I used to donate when you were allowed to just chuck a few quid in a shakey tin.

Now that they badger me on my doorstep, refuse to take the odd fiver and insist on me signing up to a monthly amount I don't bother.

Knocking on doors and asking for money is rude, regardless of whether it's for charity or not.

Refusing to take my offer of a fiver because 'we can't take cash' is just hmm .

PlasticLentilWeaver Tue 19-Mar-13 08:44:20

I'd far rather give to a charity that supports causes that matter to me than to any form of organised religion, but each to their own.

And I certainly think it is unreasonable to expect any CEO of a large organisation, responsible for millions of pounds, to work for minimum wage. Sure salaries shouldn't be excessive, but minimum wage is just being daft.

cory Tue 19-Mar-13 08:45:03

I think the new type charity fundraisers have done a lot of damage to the image of charities. It used to be volunteers asking you nicely to support a charity because they felt for it. Now it is hectoring employees who get paid according to how much they get out of you, who have no particular interest in the charity, and who insist on following a set script regardless of how much they are upsetting the person at the other end.

I do give quite generously by direct debit to an assortment of charities but I am still hassled by their fundraisers who simply won't take no for an answer.

When I had lost my job and was struggling to pay for the needs of disabled dd, they used to reduce me to tears by ridiculing the idea that I couldn't raise my donations. It was pure bullying.

We've just had a £200/month pay cut to our household budget and I had another one on the phone the other day who was very pushy about my inability to up my donations.

I still won't stop donating to charity, because I know it's not the fault of the starving children in Africa.

But I am beginning to think of jotting down the name of every caller with a view to ringing up the charity to complain if they are too rude or persistent.

Trills Tue 19-Mar-13 08:46:40

Are you being unreasonable to confess?
Or are you being unreasonable not to donate?

Trills Tue 19-Mar-13 08:48:42

If you think that someone capable and competent will take on the responsibility of running a charity for minimum wage then YAB naive at best.

Feminine Tue 19-Mar-13 08:51:10

I don't, well not on a regular basis.

I did give to the dogs trust, but then too many leaflets came back with pictures of dogs that we couldn't visit. confused

I decided they must all be dog models.

Sugarice Tue 19-Mar-13 08:53:01

I donate but only to British Heart Foundation and Cardiac Risk in the Young.

I don't put coins in a tin at a supermarket.

There is a very annoying woman who calls round here working for Christian Aid who puts those envelopes through your letterbox then calls back the next evening and waits for ages til you answer the door expecting a bulging coin filled envelope, she's very very persistent and pushy which really pisses me off.

RivalSibling Tue 19-Mar-13 08:56:47

There are fundraising standards charities should adhere to. If you feel bullied than please complain - as you say, it does give charities a bad name.

Sadly charities have taken this route because they feel they have to. Regular Direct Debits are an extremely valuable source of income, and other sources of income are falling off a cliff.

If you do want to donate, this is a good way of doing it, but you shouldn't feel bullied or pressurised.

HousewifeFromHeaven Tue 19-Mar-13 08:58:09

I give a few quid to my local homeless men. My dh gives them a fag on passing.

I buy the big issue. I give my old clothes to the hospice shop, and also buy my books there.

I go to the help for heroes events. I sponsor my kids and my relatives kids.

So I rekon I'm not alone? We probably all give to charity in these ways

HousewifeFromHeaven Tue 19-Mar-13 08:59:11

Maybe you don't all give fags to the homeless though grin

cory Tue 19-Mar-13 08:59:35

I don't mind if the people who run the charities get reasonable wages. I do care when there are scandals about how the money is used because it damages the good work.

(there was one in my home country recently about a major international charity, it turned out money was being creamed off to support a luxury lifestyle for its directing staff way beyond their salaries, and all my relatives have stopped supporting the charity in question).

And I do think the fundraising should either be done by volunteers or by people who are given proper training around the vulnerable.

It always strikes me that the Big Issue sellers down in town are so well mannered though they must be desperate for a sale, while the charity fundraisers next to them are often hectoring and rude. It shows that training counts for a lot.

NinaHeart Tue 19-Mar-13 09:04:25

Interesting...this is the third "I hate charity fundraising" thread in as many weeks.

As I have explained on the other two, I work as a fundraiser for a charity and whilst I undersatnd that people don't like being "bothered", particularly at home, I am rather hurt that the importance of charities is being overlooked. If you have any family member or friend who has ever benfitted from an advance in medical science, for example, you can bet that it was funded , at least in part, through charitable giving. This is how it works.

I am employed (and yes, paid) becasue I raise many times my costs for the charity. It is financially worthwhile and yes, it saves lives!

Why are we suddenly the new bankers or estate agents - worthy only of other peoples' ire and mistrust?

colleysmill Tue 19-Mar-13 09:04:40

I tend to donate regularly to charities that are close to me or give something back to charities we have used.

Our local hospice runs a wonderful support system for anyone who is bereaved even if you didn't access the inpatient part. The groups have been a lifeline to my father since my mum died and he still goes as part of their friendship group and as a volunteer to those accessing the groups at the beginning of their journey. Its a simple concept really but one of real value and it would be a real loss to the local community if it stopped running so I donate to them mainly.

INeverSaidThat Tue 19-Mar-13 09:09:40

I give time directly to help but I don't generally give money. I have always given my time (I m a SAHM with older DCs) but over the years I have started to give less money because I don't trust where the money goes to. I volunteer with something that directly helps local people. I enjoy it and it is very worthwhile. We are lucky as my DH has a good job and this is a good way to 'give back'

I used to always give a couple of quid to anyone I saw rattling a collection box back when there were no chuggers and the chief exec's of large charities were not paid ridiculous salaries. Now I don't....

I also don't like the overlap between commercial and charitable events such as the London Marathon. If it were purely charitable I would give loads but the fact that people (organisers/marketers etc) get rich with it makes me very uncomfortable.

I NEVER give to people who call at the house, I NEVER give to chuggers and I NEVER give to highly organised/marketed appeals. I don't support pseudo charity events (marathons etc) which are actually run by profit making companies.

RivalSibling Tue 19-Mar-13 09:17:12

Yes, Nina, and a lot of charities provide services which simply wouldn't exist if it was left to the government to provide them, for example around mental health or youth support. Sometimes they are set up by people who were affected by an issue and then discovered the gap in services (think Missing People - set up after Suzy Lamplugh went missing).

Good charities are close to their service users and work incredibly hard to get things right for them - often with very little money.

Nancy66 Tue 19-Mar-13 09:21:58

I do donate but I spend a long time researching the charities before I donate to them. I also tend to choose the smaller, less well-known ones.

I would also never give money to an animal charity as I prioritise human life over that of a dog, cat or bird.

WorraLiberty Tue 19-Mar-13 09:26:50

It's up to you what you do with your money OP.

But I have to ask what makes you trust the church and not other charities?

Do you pay the church by DD and do they give you a break down of what your donations are spent on?

Or do you pop it in the collection tray every Sunday and hope for the best?

Ragwort Tue 19-Mar-13 09:28:48

I give time and money to a variety of charities and 'good causes' that I support.

There are some charities and organisations that don't share my values animal charities so I don't give to them.

Of course it is up to every individual to give (or not) to whatever they like but I do get a little irritated when people are more than happy to take advantage of a charity or organisation without supporting it at all - especially things like PTAs/scouting/childrens' sports clubs etc which are all run (in the main) by volunteers. One of our Brownie parents is happy to tell me, via her iphone shock, that she can't afford the subs.

SkinnybitchWannabe Tue 19-Mar-13 09:32:18

YANBU. I give what I can to charities that mean something to me such as The British Heart Foundation.
I can't stand doorknockers and those who pounce on you on the street...it must be a really tough job to do though.

AmberSocks Tue 19-Mar-13 09:32:22

i dont trust them either but i trust the church even less....would rather give my money to charity if i had to make a choice.

my dhs business works with a charity,making them a huge amount of money,so i guess i feel like we have it covered.

NinaHeart Tue 19-Mar-13 09:37:45

Well, if anyone is interested enough to want to know where the money donated to the charity I work for goes, I would be happy to give a full breakdown!

Last year we gave 107% of our income for charitable purposes. That means we used some of our free reserves to maintain our charitable objects.

RivalSibling Tue 19-Mar-13 09:37:50

If church organisations were subject to the same scrutiny as charities quite a few of them would probably be closed down.

Smudging Tue 19-Mar-13 09:39:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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