Did I just have a go at a person with Tourette's?

(107 Posts)
MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 13:23:58

Ok...

Was just queuing to get into the bakery with my friend's DS in his pushchair. A group of 4 people were in front of me. One of the females was talking really quite loudly and saying "fucking" "cunt" "twat" repeatedly. Her friends were laughing at her conversation. One of her friends then purposely knocked her bag off her shoulder. She responded by calling him a fat, four-eyed cunt.

I did get the red mist and asked her to please stop sounding her potty mouth off so loudly and said little ears are present, motioning towards friend's DS. Then she went "I've got Tourette's, you stupid cow" I did hmm face and her friend sheepishly backed her up and said that she did have Tourette's.

I really don't think that she did. My old boss had Tourette's and he didn't just swear in the flow of normal conversation. I could be wrong and if I am, I will feel shitty.

It's not the first time I've asked people to stop swearing around kids. AIBU?

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Mar-13 10:05:22

Morniong Marmalade what you up to today? grin

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 10:12:37

I'm off to see if I can find some twats kicking in a bus stop, so that I can ignore their behaviour lest I impose upon their civil liberty to act as they please.

Then when I've done that, I might see if I can find a pickpocketer so that I can smile piously and let him get on with pickpocketing nans, just so that I may maintain my status as Biggest Lefty Twat in the Village.

Pfffffft.

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Mar-13 10:19:08

Good plan Marmalade or maybe patrol the disabled parking spaces at the Mezza for a while, that will keep you out of trouble. wink

ChasingDogs Tue 19-Mar-13 10:28:56

Is swearing a crime on par with theft now?

Well, that's me completely fucked then.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 19-Mar-13 10:42:06

There is more than one way to skin a cat.

Loudly saying to your child that they are bad words and shouldn't be repeated is a good way.

Someone with a genuine issue is unlikely to be offended by that its also none confrontational and does the job,

Somehow tho I expect your one of those who rather likes confrontation.

I was in the park a while back & there was a group of school children swearing next to us. I asked them to stop as DS1 is very good at copying what he hears. I didn't realise I was BU by doing so.

I agree that we all unwittingly cause offence but most normal, well mannered people don't want to cause offence & will try & desist whenever possible.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 11:05:15

"Is swearing a crime on par with theft now?

Well, that's me completely fucked then."

No but if we're taking "don't confront anti-social behaviour, we all do things that offend" to it's logical conclusion, then that's where we are at isn't it?

Sockreturningpixie, that's just passive-aggressive. I don't really do passive-aggressive. If I feel that I need to say something then I will. Which isn't often really. As well as liking confrontation, I also like people who know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'.

SneezingwakestheJesus Tue 19-Mar-13 11:37:34

Its all about how you confront them and ask though. You're far more likely to get the response you would like if you hold your anger in and ask in a friendly or jokey manner. It might pain you to ask nicely for someone to stop doing something they shouldn't be anyway but it will be more likely to get the result you want.

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Mar-13 11:41:20

I am a bit of a chicken. I say 'Don't listen to the effing and jeffing boys' in a very loud voice.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 11:48:51

Come with Aunty Twatters down to Merry Hell, Sparkling. I'll give you a crash course in how to deal with the riff-raff, down at the Asda end. Then we can go to the new Krispy Kreme for a reward after a hard day's work telling people off.

littlemissbunny Tue 19-Mar-13 11:53:24

Marmalade can you run a course for people like me who want to say something but don't?

There's a Krispy Kreme doughnut in it for you grin

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Mar-13 11:54:50

Ooh yes Marmalade a sort of self help group for wusses. With a doughnut for each time we make a comment. grin

notimefors Tue 19-Mar-13 12:10:42

My friend has tourettes. Using my experience of that one person... That girl sounds like she was just a twat.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 12:13:50

OK, lessons start week on monday outside the Asda at Merry Hell shopping centre. 10am sharp.

I only tend to say something if the thing offending me is prolonged, IYSWIM. I wouldn't ask someone to shut up if they just swore once or twice in conversation. I only say something when the conversation consists of every third word being fuck or cunt etc.

UnChartered Tue 19-Mar-13 12:15:38

can we have a workshop on telling people to pick up their discarded crisp packets too please?

i'll lead that one <my specialist subject>

grin

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 12:20:05

Ooh the dropped litter one.

I did a demonstration for some lovely Vicki Pollards teenage girls last year who were scoffing chips from polystyrene trays then throwing the paper all over the grass verge instead of walking THREE METRES to the closest bin.

I picked it up and strode over and put it in the bin whilst giving a running commentary on just how easy it is to throw things into the bin. They probably thought I was mad and they'd be right...

UnChartered Tue 19-Mar-13 12:24:51

nice work <opens badge drawer>

i like the line 'oh, you dropped something' to which the usual reply is 'yeah, i don't want it anymore'

it's a baffler but a sharp 'well, you should put it in the bin then' and quick catsbum mouth usually has them scuttling the 3ft to do just that

grin

LandofTute Tue 19-Mar-13 13:26:36

I did once have someone shout "fatty!" at me when I was getting off the train and i did think they had Tourettes. It was the way they looked embarrassed rather than rude/aggressive afterwards. So I didn't take it personally. To be honest they did have a point. grin If I had said something I doubt very much they would have replied "I've got Tourette's, you stupid cow." like your woman. hmm

toomuch2young Tue 19-Mar-13 14:52:54

landoftute if it was me, I apologise, I have done that on trains.
I do find it embarrassing. And for a long time when my vocals were bad i didn't like to leave the house as was so worried about upsetting someone. It's a nuisance having a neurological conditions that makes everyone at best laugh, and at worst offend and anger people.
I just wish for a little understanding. Though I think things are improving. Iv had people tell me not to apologise for it, but I feel like I'm not apologising for having TS but more for any offence it may cause which I think is fair.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 19-Mar-13 15:23:43

You completely lost the moral high ground by exhibiting bad manners, correcting people's grammar is the sort of thing people who don't know how decent people behave do.

Its also extremely bad form to pick up on things like that because you don't know if you happen to be doing it to someone with a proper dx learning disability and a neurological condition that makes stuff like that less easy to manage,as in fact you just did because I do.

Avoiding being passive aggressive does not mean you have to have confrontation and aggression as your default setting. There is a middle ground.

Its not passive aggressive to teach your child that some words are bad words but it is inadvisable to teach them that its acceptable to go through life being critical of others and rude.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 15:32:05

Aggression? I said "Do you mind not swearing quite so loudly? I have a toddler sat right next to you"

To the point, yes. Aggressive, no. I'm not going to bat my eyelashes and get all jokey just because I want someone to stop behaving like a dick. <shrug>

And I will teach my children to be critical of people that act like dicks. <shrug again> I'm not of the school of parenting that teaches kids to accept everyone, whatever their bad habits. I'll teach my child to accept diversity where it matters i.e gay/different race/disablity. I won't teach them that you have to accept twattish behaviour as a delightful little quirk.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 19-Mar-13 15:39:52

Its confrontational and unnessacery,

You don't have to teach them to accept bad behaviour there is middle ground.

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 19-Mar-13 15:54:21

When I was a store manager I used to tell people to stop swearing all the time. I just used to say "can you watch your language please, there's kids about" or something similar. I can't say I ever feared getting shivved for my renegade antics.

It's all about context. I swear like a navvy but not around kids or older people (I have a Nanna - I'd burn if she ever heard me swear) and I never do it loudly.

I once walked past a group of yooofs going about their skateboarding, emo haired, be-pumped business and heard one shout to the the other "oi, stop fucking swearing that woman's got a kid with her". It made me smile because they all seemed like nice kids then made me weep over how ancient I felt.

Then again I'm already the mad old bint who tuts and eye rolls at spitters and litter droppers so I guess I'm already a good way down a very slippery slope.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 16:18:44

Yes there is a middle-ground and I struck it. Not confrontational just direct, not standing piously smiling at twattery. Thank you.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 19-Mar-13 16:22:07

This is a youtube video made by alittle boy who is 8 and has Tourettes, he talks about his Coprolalia and how difficult it makes him feel.

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