To refuse to pay for School leaving party without seeing the quotes?

(359 Posts)
Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 08:57:43

DS leaves primary in July. Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant, a party there and the parents pick them up at the end. I know from other parents that in previous years this came to around £25 and I'm completely happy with that.
All the year 6 mums had a chat, about the leavers, do at the school gates and one of the parents offered to organize it. This is a parent who has had older children leave the primary and knows how it works. She said she would ring around, email everyone to let them know the costs and if everyone was happy she would book the limo and the restaurant.

Well, we have now heard from her, and she has already booked the limo, and also instead of a restaurant, she has booked a party session at a local play centre, as this is what her daughter wants to do and she thought it was a really good idea. She has asked for a £30 deposit and wants another £20 at the beginning of July. It costs children £12 for a day pass at this centre, and £8 for a birthday party so I can't see how her figures add up. I'm skipping over the fact that our DS doesn't really want to go to the play centre. as it is his last chance to do something with his classmates.

Am I being unreasonable to ask to see the quotes, I admit that I'm annoyed that she has booked the play centre off her own bat, is that clouding my judgment over the whole thing?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 17-Mar-13 09:03:10

I wouldn't ask her directly initially. I would contact the play centre and find out the prices, and the same for the limo company.

Only if the figures didn't add up, would I ask her about it.

I would, however, tell her that the agreement was that she would find out the information and get agreement before booking and that I was cross that she had booked everything without getting agreement.

Isityouorme Sun 17-Mar-13 09:03:56

This is for leaving primary school! FFS....bit OTT don't you think? Both are excessive IMO. I would not get involved in this.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Sun 17-Mar-13 09:04:53

I would ask why it is double the usual cost

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 09:06:18

When you are the party organiser, there is nothing worse than giving people a choice.

It is far easier to say "we are going here, it will cost x".

All the voting and to-ing and fro-ing makes organisation a night mare. Moany people who have absolutely no input make it a nightmare.

You have the option to go to this party or organise your own. Neither of which are organised by the school or PTA by the sounds of it. It's just a group of mums who want to mark an occasion.

Figures don't add up? Balloons, decorations, mementos like photos and year book, limos? got to be a limo or three etc - money pit.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 09:07:13

Limo will be 20-30 a head depending on where you are in the country, and what you have in it.

shrimponastick Sun 17-Mar-13 09:10:29

I would want to know why it is assumed that to double theusual cost is okay?

Maybe ask in a lighthearted way how it comes to that sum?

And do a bit of phoning around to find out prices yourself.

I wouldn't pay that for end of primary. Sounds excessive.

MimiSunshine Sun 17-Mar-13 09:10:36

I wouldn't check up and then ask her, because if she can explain the cost what are you going to say, "we'll I've checked and I think you're lying"?
Just email back something short and breezy Like: Wow didn't realise the play centre had out their prices up, my niece (or random relation) had her party there a few months ago and it was about half that. Could you please email us all the break down of prices?

Asking for a break down is perfectly acceptable, I recently arranged my own birthday weekend away and I wouldn't have dreamt of asking my friends for money without detailing what the costs were and not because I'm worried they'd think I was swindling them just because that's normal behaviour.

cozietoesie Sun 17-Mar-13 09:10:38

Limos for Primary School kids ? Dear goodness.

shock

IDontDoIroning Sun 17-Mar-13 09:12:28

You would NBU to ask why
A- it's twice the price of previous years
B- not what's usually booked ie play centre not restaurant
C- why she's booked and paid for it without consulting on the changes re A or B above.

It would seem to me she offered to organise it do she could make sure her dd got what she wanted and not what was usually arranged.

She's booked and paid for it to make sure her dd gets what she wants by relying on none of you challenging her.

Good luck I can't this ending well.

ScottyDoc Sun 17-Mar-13 09:13:01

Jesus Christ. Wtf? I have to ask what any sane parent is doing by forking out for limos when their PRIMARY child leaves school. Wasteful ridiculous OTT extravagance. This is the sort of treat for 16 year olds leaving school, not children.

The last day of primary school the teachers let us have a mahoosive water fight in the playground. 'twas fab and didn't cost a penny.
Ask if her deposit is refundable cos you're not willing to pay twice the price.

MidniteScribbler Sun 17-Mar-13 09:14:25

A limo for primary school??? WTAF???

SanityClause Sun 17-Mar-13 09:17:58

Well, perhaps you could let her know that it's a bit more than you were hoping to pay, or could afford. Are there other parents who would baulk at paying £50 for a leaving do? I know I would.

I wouldn't ask to see the quotes, as it seems rude. But as she has booked something different to what was originally discussed, and as she didn't email round to check, as she said she would, I do think you could speak to her about it, and perhaps offer to help book something less expensive.

FWIW, at the school DD1 and DD2 went to, the cost of the leaving party was about £15. This covered the hire of a nearby hall, with lots of outdoor space for playing rounders and running games; a children's entertainer (disco); party food and cake; and a tshirt each for them all to sign as a souvenir.

Lots of parents helped supervise the girls walking to the event, and helped with running games, serving food etc. This, of course, subsidised the cost, as a play centre would pay staff for equivalent supervision.

These events were lovely. Really fun children's parties, rather than the grown up "proms" that you hear about, so often.

Sugarice Sun 17-Mar-13 09:20:36

I'd be very miffed that she organised the play centre without getting an opinion from the other mums just because her dd liked it.

Ask her how she has worked her figures out, seems very expensive and you're well within your rights asking her.

lljkk Sun 17-Mar-13 09:22:03

Get a gang of other moms together to politely ask if she can explain the break down in costs, suggest you might be able to book it for less.

Limo would get laughed at around here.

Our y6 had a swimming pool party one year, which I thought was pretty profligate by local standards. Worked out at about £6/person with food.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 09:22:21

Limos for 16yos are so passé now. It's all the primary rage. It's only 30 quid, makes them happy for that last evening before they are flung to the wind and go to different schools.

NinaNannar Sun 17-Mar-13 09:23:32

The whole thing sounds NAFF

Isityouorme Sun 17-Mar-13 09:28:45

Chav city!

simplesusan Sun 17-Mar-13 09:29:12

I think you are right to be annoyed by the fact that she has changed the event from a meal in a restaurant to a session in a play centre. I think she should have emailed everyone first to ask if this was ok.

As for the cost I think you can expect to pay more than last year, maybe an extra £10.

I think I would just ask the other mums what they think and go along with the majority.

Sorry I'm not more helpful!

I did think though that £25 for a meal, limo and night out sounded too hopeful.
It's my dds prom this year and the meal alone is £30, without the cost of the limo, so I suppose the cost she isd quoting sounds about right.

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Mar-13 09:34:05

Aren't 11 year olds a bit big for play centres?

I thought I'd be done with the wretched places by then.

nkf Sun 17-Mar-13 09:38:08

Do 11 year olds want to go to play centres? I think she's booked something she shouldn't have booked. I think the limo stuff is silly. I think it's all a bit silly to be honest apart from maybe the restaurant. I can see why 11 year olds would find that thrillingly grown up. Don't they usually have a disco in the school hall?

nkf Sun 17-Mar-13 09:39:14

Actually, now I come to think of it, I think the school disco is organised by the school. The parents just do a big picnic in the park. Ball games etc. Really good fun.

Hissy Sun 17-Mar-13 09:42:03

Only one thing for it.
Move somewhere with some actual class...

Sugarice Sun 17-Mar-13 09:42:51

Get together with the other mums and see if their dc's want the play centre then organise the restaurant as planned previously if the children don't fancy it.

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