To ask how many of you get on with your mil?

(189 Posts)

That's it really, just fancied a poll of who feels respected and liked by mil?

Barmcake Sun 10-Mar-13 11:48:41

I have an amazing mil, I don't know what we would have done without her these past few months.

She always puts family first and is a fantastic cook.

tricky, i don't dislike the,. yet they are very stiff upper lip types, emotionally distant, it has some perks as thry don't interfere to our faces

but you never really know what they are thinking, as they are quite guarded, even dh says they are emotionally repressed.

and its hard to form any real bond with such stiff upper lip, keep all opinions to themeselves types

tbh, we could see a hell of alot more of them, often we drive by there house and could easily call in for an hour but we don't as its not really that enjoyable iyswim
oh that sounds awful doesnt it, but if you act distant guess you become distant..........

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Sun 10-Mar-13 12:27:29

Yeah, we get on well. She is pretty laid back so she's easy to be around/ talk to and we both like drinking tea and watching crap telly like Embarrassing Bodies and re-runs of Location, Location and Property Ladder. I'm not sure if she respects me, but I respect her as she brought up 3 kids on her own whilst running her own business, and they've all turned out brilliantly. She's only offered me parenting advice once and she was right (told me I needed to cut 2 yr old DS some slack re. his behaviour a few weeks after DD was born). She told me gently/ sensitively though so I didn't mind. Best of all, she sends me UK chocolate in the post (we live abroad). Only thing is I sometimes wish she'd be more straight with her opinions, as she often says what she thinks I want to hear, rather than what she thinks as she doesnt want to inconvenience anyone.

tiggerishtom Sun 10-Mar-13 12:36:40

I really loved my MIL, she was brilliant, whilst we are like chalk and cheese personality wise, thought we had shared values.

But her behaviour this past year, to do with GC & child care, accusations to DH, and causing hurt over petty issues. She will twist everything into something negative.How to you try and live around somebody like this?

I now struggle to understand her,as her priorities are completely different to mine. She is not the family oriented person I thought she was. She is used to having it all her own way, as her husband (and previously both sons) have enabled her behaviour, they traditionally avoided standing up to her as they preferred a quiet life.

Unfortunately, both sons now try to distance themselves, her eldest has not allowed to his house in over 7 years. So she is the one who is loosing out, and it's so sad, because in her heart, I am sure she is probably one of the worlds most caring people, she has just become spoilt, and has an unrealistic view of the world.

TomDudgeon Sun 10-Mar-13 13:40:06

I get on with mine.
She's lovely
We have our moments but who doesn't

TalkUsernameYoudLike Sun 10-Mar-13 13:45:53

My MIL thinks we get on, and that I like her.. But I don't like her at all!

TalkUsernameYoudLike Sun 10-Mar-13 13:46:39

That makes me sound awful, but you haven't met her. Easier to just smile and nod and pretend everything is fine! smile

hiddenhome Sun 10-Mar-13 14:16:27

My MIL is great and I luffs her smile She is always kind to me despite the fact that she must think I'm nuts grin

forgetmenots Sun 10-Mar-13 14:41:15

No, I don't. I would have really liked one of the nice relationships mentioned here. Wasn't possible because of how she treats my DH (and me by extension).

Liked my ex's mum a lot though smile

newpup Sun 10-Mar-13 15:15:25

NO! My mil is a very selfish woman who has been very difficult in the past. When my DDs were babies and small children, we had a very difficult relationship. She wanted to be far more involved in our lives than I would let her. I am very independent and she did not understand me at all. I do realise that I was sometimes difficult too and played her at her own game.

Now the DDs are much older 13 and 11 we see very little of them. They travel a lot and we see them every 6 weeks or so. It is always a bit strained and I never relax around them at all.

thebitchdoctor Sun 10-Mar-13 15:29:50

Hmmm. A tricky one. I think my MIL and certainly my FIL find me baffling. I'm very much modern woman in a modern marriage where DH and I are equals and they don't get that at all. They also disagree with a lot of our parenting techniques.

I don't like them at all but have never said anything. My dislike is based on how they treat DH like a second class citizen compared to 'D'SIL. I feel so bad for DH, he's a lovely bloke and they don't know how lucky they are to have a decent man as a son.

I'm sad about this though, I hoped I would find a friend in whomever became my MIL. Especially as my mum died last year. You'd think if your DIL was motherless at a young age you'd might try to be there for her but nope.

barefootwalker Sun 10-Mar-13 15:52:52

I do. I actually am closer to my MIL than to my own Mum. She is fantastic.

OhTheConfusion Sun 10-Mar-13 15:56:59

Sadly no, I gave up trying to be nice years ago!

Ahhhcrap Sun 10-Mar-13 16:03:08

Mine is great, love her to bits.

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