To ask how many of you get on with your mil?

(189 Posts)

That's it really, just fancied a poll of who feels respected and liked by mil?

Icantstopeatinglol Sat 09-Mar-13 20:41:11

I don't really get on with my mil, just don't understand her as her priorities are completely different to mine.

CognitiveOverload Sat 09-Mar-13 20:41:15

Not really. Hope ds's future partner won't feel the same about me.

MrsFrumble Sat 09-Mar-13 20:42:04

I do. She's great and I love her to bits. She comes to stay and help me with the babies when DH is away and we sit up late drinking wine and chatting.

When I read some of the horror stories on here I realise how lucky I am!

Jins Sat 09-Mar-13 20:43:11

I can't abide my mil and the feeling is mutual. It's a shame. I'd have liked a reasonable relationship between us but she made it perfectly clear from day one that she wasn't interested in being anything other than unpleasant sad

RobinSparkles Sat 09-Mar-13 20:43:22

I get along with mine.

She's a laugh, really, and she dotes on the DC. I don't always agree with everything she says as she's not very PC at times and I often think, "you can't say that!" But there are probably lots of things I say that she doesn't agree with, even though I am right.

Mine is fine. I prob get on with her better than DH does.

thereonthestair Sat 09-Mar-13 20:44:14

I did, she always always thought dh should put me first, even when I didn't due to her health, she was an amazing but desperately unlucky woman in her life. She drove me mad, but last thing I said to her before she unexpectedly died was that she should visit again soon, and I loved her. I miss her

RobinSparkles Sat 09-Mar-13 20:45:07

I feel very lucky too. Some of the stories on MN are awful! Although I don't know anyone with such a terrible MIL in RL.

cookielove Sat 09-Mar-13 20:45:32

I have two hmm dh's parents are divorced, and his step mum has been in his life from around age 8 not that he calls her mum though.

They are both lovely people, hard work when they are around each other, no fighting just lots awkward moments <grrrrr> both his dad and step dad are the same, luckily for me and dh they both live far far away!! I see them maybe once a year, however i assume when i have babies please let that be soon that we will probably see each other more smile

FascinatingNewThing Sat 09-Mar-13 20:45:34

Meh, we are friendly to one another but we'll never be super close. Very different people. She annoys me (as do a lot of people) and I don't feel that I have really been accepted into the family, despite the fact OH and I have a baby together and are getting married this year. We like each other well enough.

ThePavlovianCat Sat 09-Mar-13 20:45:46

I have a great MIL. In fact I'm fond of all my in-laws (DH has quite a large family)

HolidayArmadillo Sat 09-Mar-13 20:45:50

I love my MIL and I think she loves me too. She has always been complimentary about me and has privately thanked me for sticking by her son when things got tough for us, she says I'm the best thing to have happened to him and she's a fantastic grandmother. I'm blessed.

PurpleBlossom Sat 09-Mar-13 20:46:20

We don't not get on, however I feel our relationship has become a bit strained since DD was born. I'm not sure why (probably fault on both sides) and I hope it will settle down again.

We seem to be in a bit of a power struggle at the moment. I think she finds it hard watching me be 'Mum' and not her.

MikeLitoris Sat 09-Mar-13 20:46:49

I got on really well with mine until dd came along. Had a big thread on here about her over stepping the mark. Lots of boundary issues.

Dd is now 2yo and we are back to getting on really well.

She says and does things that irritate me and I'm sure she could say the same about me. Thats life.

Both pil are amazing with my dc and have been a huge help to us. I'm very lucky.

GreenShadow Sat 09-Mar-13 20:47:16

My MIL is far nicer than me and probably has far more reason to complain about me than I do about her.

I am quite quiet, and tbh, probably feel a bit inferior, so end up not having much to say.

Really, we don't have that much in common and aren't especially close, but that isn't something I can blame her for. Pity really, as my DM died 17 years ago, so would have been nice to have a substitute mum.

ByTheSea Sat 09-Mar-13 20:48:13

My MIL hates me. I don't know what I did. sad

CatsRule Sat 09-Mar-13 20:48:19

Respected by my mil = nope never will happen

Liked by my mil = nope hates me (admitted it...I stole the son she also admitted to not wanting!)

Lovely woman that she is grin

So unfortunately my mil falls into the default of not respecting nor liking their dil's!

I get on well with her, and I know she likes me. But she does still drive me nuts a lot some of the time.

Weissdorn Sat 09-Mar-13 20:49:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MySpecialistSubjectIsMN Sat 09-Mar-13 20:50:32

I got on well with MIL, she thanked me for her grandchildren and we used to chat quite a bit.

I found out after she passed that she thought of me as the daughter she never had. I wept buckets when her friend told me this. My only wish was for more time with her. I know she'd have loved to see how the GC were progressing.

Weissdorn Sat 09-Mar-13 20:51:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlemonkeychops Sat 09-Mar-13 20:52:49

Purpleblossom you could be me!! Exactly my situation, we used to get on fine but since DD arrived there's a definate issue that she is no longer the 'active mum' but now a GP, it's led to resentment on both sides sadly, on hers because i'm "in the way" and mine because i resent her desire to take over and not respect my wishes.

Very sad all round, can't see it changing anytime soon so i just keep her at a distance.

Very very jealous of those with lovely supportive MILs you're all so lucky.

babybythesea Sat 09-Mar-13 20:52:50

Love mine to bits and feel sad that we don't see enough of her.

She lives in New Zealand. When we do see her, it involves staying in her house for a month at a time. If we didn't get on it could be a disaster. As it is, she is one of the loveliest, kindest people I know. She's due over later this year to meet DC2 - can't wait to have her here!

She offers advice with dd but doesn't criticise particularly. She makes an effort to keep in touch and send dd things. And she's generally just a lovely person to spend time with.

I like my MIL, and feel respected and (mostly) liked by her. We're two very different people though and there are conflicts at times, I think she probably finds me a bit too opinionated at times blush and I've tried to tone that down in recent years as I know she gets agitated by disagreements. I respect her a lot, she's not as judgemental as me and I think that's a good thing and something I try to emulate (a bit!). However, we don't have children yet and I suspect we may disagree on several aspects of childrearing, and she's an ex-nursery nurse so is confident on the topic (but overly obsessed with hygiene so will judge me on that!). On the bright side I think she'll adore them.

ENormaSnob Sat 09-Mar-13 20:52:56

I adore my mil.

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