This generation&#6527 9; will never know the joy of being married 50 years how sad.

(75 Posts)
500DaysofSeasons Fri 08-Mar-13 19:17:41

Aibu to think this comment is smug and sad?

(A comment on YouTube that got 107 likes) (YouTube of all the things to get offended by grin )

Years ago divorce was not a common thing and viewed as very scandalous - especially for women.
Men and women had very defined role - the man went out to work to earn the money and the woman stayed at home and did housekeeping and raised the children.
People also got married very young.
So yes lots of people celebrated 50 years of marriage.

I prefer to live in this day and age, where a woman had more than being married and having children as a goal in life and would stay in an unhappy marriage purely because of how society would judge her if she got divorced.

Aibu to not agree with the above comment?

sicutlilium Fri 08-Mar-13 20:46:04

Make the most of the defence of marital coercion before it's removed from the statute book.

LessMissAbs Fri 08-Mar-13 20:46:55

HollyBush I'd also hazard a guess that there are a lot of women out there who have to work for financial reasons rather than want to work. Big difference

I am sure plenty of men feel exactly the same!

OP YANBU, not at all. Some stupid guff out there on YouTube!

Adversecamber Fri 08-Mar-13 20:49:04

Hollyberrybush, my Nan was a bus driver, which was highly unusual. One bad thing she was a strike breaker in the general strike ! I would like to think I did my best to wipe that shame out as I was a trade union activist for many years.

Knowsabitabouteducation Fri 08-Mar-13 20:49:23

We've been married 26 years.

I hope that we can make it to 50 years and beyond, DV.

sicutlilium Fri 08-Mar-13 20:49:46

ratbagcatbag "git married": perhaps that was the problem wink.

HollyBerryBush Fri 08-Mar-13 20:53:06

I'm sure plent y of men do feel the same, but the OP was commenting on traditional roles - traditionally men work, women nurture.

We can expand the conversation - I'd much like it if I had my career back rather than went to work and DH would be over the moon to be the SAHP - simple fact of the matter is, due to my career break, he is now the major wage earner and it would take me another 10 years to get up to his earning power, on the assumption pay rises ever came back into play in this economic climate, so we are both stuck in roles we don't particularly like, but we do it for the best interests of the the children.

Bunbaker Fri 08-Mar-13 20:54:26

"Most people who are genuinely happy don't feel the need to bang on about how their lifestyle choices are superior to those of others. They just get on with being happy."

I agree.

Weissdorn Fri 08-Mar-13 20:57:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chandellina Fri 08-Mar-13 21:36:38

Yabu, it will never not be in the interests of children to have their parents together, barring extreme situations such as domestic violence. So that's at least 20 years or so. After 20 years I'd hope you have a strong platform for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately a lot of people just want to jump ship and do it all over again with someone "fresh" rather than make a genuine commitment to a lifelong love.

KitCat26 Fri 08-Mar-13 21:59:30

Non of my grandparents or great grandparents were married for 50 years. My parents may last though.

One set of great grandparents were on the verge of divorce in the early 1960s (death got in the way) but they hated each other. They were wealthy (hence considering the expensive option of divorce) and she did not work.

All the other women in my family had jobs, either in nursing, secretarial positions or in shops. I think all the rest rubbed along ok, with one set being devoted to each other.

It is unlikely that I will reach 50 years with DH. He was 43 when we got hitched, I was 25. We'll enjoy the time we have, and if we don't there is always the option of divorce! grin

LadyPessaryPam Fri 08-Mar-13 22:06:55

I am married, now at the 24 year mark. It has worked for us. It also makes future genealogists jobs so so much easier grin

Booyhoo Fri 08-Mar-13 22:07:33

"Yabu, it will never not be in the interests of children to have their parents together,"

Umm, who mentioned children, or the best interests of or suggested that people who are married for 50 years have children or are married to the other parent of their children?

what a random irrelevant comment confused

LadyPessaryPam Fri 08-Mar-13 22:09:18

sicutlilium Make the most of the defence of marital coercion before it's removed from the statute book.

Love it, very funny grin

chandellina Fri 08-Mar-13 23:19:45

Oh sorry boohyhoo, I was only referring to that little seen phenomenon of married people having children, happens oh I don't know about 75 or 80 percent of the time in long term couples.

RedToothBrush Fri 08-Mar-13 23:36:05

The last generation will never know the joy of being married 40 years and having 10 years of freedom. How sad

It cuts both ways.

Personally I think its nice to have the choice of either.

bruffin Fri 08-Mar-13 23:38:57

There are 6of us who meet for lunch each week all around 50 yrs old. All have been in the 25+ year relationships and all beven married over 20 years. There is no reason some of use won't make 50th anniversaries.

Well, I guess I am from a long line of freaks, as all of my family (both sides) are all still on first marriages, or are widows. None, barring my mother, are religious.
DH and I married at twenty, so I think we stand a decent chance of lasting 50 years.
I have been a sahp, a whop, and a mature student, DH has been each of these things too, I wonder if that will have an impact?

Bunbaker Sat 09-Mar-13 09:27:18

I have been married for nearly 32 years and couldn't imagine being with anyone else, nor want to be. I would like to think we could manage at least another 18 years together. And (whispers) we are happy with each other.

NUFC69 Sat 09-Mar-13 10:24:36

We have been married for 41 years this year (got married in our mid 20s) - I keep vaguely in touch with a lot of old school friends and none of them is divorced. In fact I know very few people who are divorced. I think it said in the newspaper this week that the average marriage lasts 12 years which seems rather sad to me - all those people who, presumably, went into marriage with high hopes of it lasting.

Booyhoo Sat 09-Mar-13 10:33:02

no chandelina you referred to what was in the best interests of the children (that no-one had mentioned).

this thread isn't about children at all. it was about marriages reaching the 50 year mark. nothing to do with whether 'the (hypothetical) children' fared better with parents who stayed married or not.

although i can see you're coming at this with a very clear predjudice so im not really sure there's much point entering into discussion with you about it.

Booyhoo Sat 09-Mar-13 10:35:44

NUFC did those figures take into account the death of a partner or was it just divorces?

also, not everyone sees marriage as a lifelong arrangement (and that isn't necessarily a sad/bad thing)

Trills Sat 09-Mar-13 10:35:59
motherinferior Sat 09-Mar-13 10:39:57

I myself feel sorry for the people who've never had the pleasure of a wide variety of sexual partners.

<looks resignedly at monogamous future>

Bunbaker Sat 09-Mar-13 10:46:20

"I myself feel sorry for the people who've never had the pleasure of a wide variety of sexual partners."

You are making the assumption that people who have been married a long time are married to their first lover. Besides, long marrieds are probably monogamous by nature and don't feel like they are missing out.

Trills Sat 09-Mar-13 10:49:32

I feel sorry for people who can't accept that different people like different things and what's best for them might not be best for everyone else.

Peace and love everyone.

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