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To expect only the guests I've invited to turn up to my DD's party?

(186 Posts)

It was my daughters 8th birthday recently and I envited all the girls from her class. Most of them replied and one asked if she could bring her sister. I said yes, then kind of wished I hadn't, because I thought now I can't say no to any other siblings and there could be loads.
Anyway, we had all the replies, so I bought the right nomber of party bags, specially made cup-cakes etc and set a pretty table with the right nomber of chairs. Then 3 siblings turn up. There parents hadn't asked me if this was o.k, if they had, I would've set extra places etc. The siblings sat at the table and so there wasn't enough room, which caused 3 tearful girls. I had to squash them in on the corners. Then the uninvited siblings were waiting for party bags. (With their parents!!) The parents even expected that the siblings that hadn't been invited should get a party bag. shock When I said "I'm really sorry, but I only have enough for the girls I invited" They looked rather disgruntled.
Is this quite the norm when it comes to parties? I thought I was very rude, but is that just me??
I put so much effort into this party as it's the first one since she's been at the school, and felt it was a bit of a flop. My daughter has SEN's and became quite overwhelmed and tearfull. She's never had a party with that many children before. (I know that's my fault for inviting too many)
I think next year we'll just have a little party at home with one friend.

expatinscotland Wed 06-Mar-13 14:30:39

What a cow she was, Kristina!

KristinaM Wed 06-Mar-13 14:45:17

I had to phone another of the mums to come and collect us. I thought about walking them all to the station about 2miles away and coming back the next day for my car. but it was a freezing January evening and they were dressed in party type clothes.

Apparently the mum who left was quite aggrieved that I hadnt phoned her up later to see how her Dd was . Clearly the mum didn't think she had done anything wrong ...

Which is kind of a theme on this thread, isn't it? Parents who fancy a child free aftrenoon and can't see why their little darling will make any difference when you have 20 others. Parents who assume you will pay for their child , buy food and prepare a party bag on the off chance that they are free that aftrenoon. Families who assume that you will be happy to provide an afternoons entertainment for them all,rather than just the child you invited.

Sigh

Rowgtfc72 Wed 06-Mar-13 17:54:29

mummy loves lucy-thanks for that.Have passed parents today who still havent replied and I cant be bothered to chase them up now ! By the way Dd is a Lucy !

Kiriwawa Wed 06-Mar-13 18:05:01

lia66 - I was almost too scared to read your post but it's actually very heartening. I don't know why I'm getting so anxious - I've been to loads of parties with the same group of kids and no one ever insists their siblings get a party bag or any other kind of abhorrent behaviour so they're unlikely to suddenly go all partyzilla on me.

Kristina - I am absolutely speechless at that. WTF is wrong with some people?!

lia66 Wed 06-Mar-13 18:14:29

I was surprised he thought it was ok.
The woman at the theatre though, just wow shock

Nanny0gg Wed 06-Mar-13 18:21:06

Anyone else hoping that some of these entitled parents are on MN?

stormforce10 Wed 06-Mar-13 18:28:53

I popped back onto this thread specially to tell you my horror story about dds 4th birthday party at a soft play area. The vast majoirity of parents stayed and there were a few siblings whos parents paid for them. I had extra party bags so for the younger ones I did give them one.

However one mum was there with her 3 year old at the entrance when I arrived and immediately said thanks for having them I'll see you later. Before I had chance to draw breath she'd gone leaving me with 3 year old. I didn't even register the them. I took 3 year old inside with us and after about 10 mintues she burst into tears and started asking where her sister was. Finally managed to calm her down enough to find her mum had sent her sister to the toilet just before we arrived and we located weeping 6 year old outside toilets.

I've still get the rage and panic thinking about it. FFS I was left with a child I'd never laid eyes on and didn't even know I was responsible for.

angry

Oh and then there was the mother who dropped her 4 year old at dd's 5 birthday and phoned about an hour after the party started to tell me "by the way X is allergic to eggs in all forms and she's vegeterian" Sadly by the time I noticed I had an answer machine message X had just guzzled a ham sandiwich and a big slice of cake. I just told her mum when she turned up that her message had come to late so X may have a problem with the eggs in the cake I didn't dare mention the ham sandwich

NeverWinsMNComps Wed 06-Mar-13 18:48:54

I'm on the extreme opposite end of the spectrum. Every bugger and their neighbor's cousin gets invited in, fed cake/wine (as appropriate), roped into playing ridiculous, and messy party games, photographed and embarrassed on facebook where possible. As long as everybody plays nicely, they're welcome. Parents tend to stay because it's a laugh, although they may end up fishing rainbow drops out of their cleavage for hours afterwards. I'd be really sad if somebody didn't come because their sibling didn't have childcare. But horses for courses, and all that...

chipmonkey Wed 06-Mar-13 19:10:28

Oh, by now, I 'm resigned to the fact that people will:
1/ Not RSVP and not turn up
2/ Not RSVP and still turn up
3/ Bring siblings who weren't invited
I always do extra party bags, and most of the time, the extra ones get used up.

digerd Wed 06-Mar-13 19:25:39

Wondering what these awful people do when they invite children round to their house for a party. Bet it's double standards for them.

Thumbwitch Wed 06-Mar-13 21:04:48

Kristina - I am utterly disgusted with the self-centredness of that mum! How awful for you and the other children, and thank goodness another mum was able to come and help you out.

stormforce - argh! That woman couldn't have cared less about her 2 DC, obviously! angry What a thing to do to them!

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