To wonder why people get so defensive about babies watching tv?

(128 Posts)
Quilty Sun 24-Feb-13 21:27:04

Just that really. Was at someone's house with 10 month old baby watching cbeebies, I jokingly comment that I will delay putting the tv on as long as possible (in reference to the irritating song that was currently on) - cue babies mum getting hugely defensive about how much tv the baby watches, how it's only on before bed etc etc and lecturing me about how it's a godsend when you need to distract them for 5 mins so you can go for a wee.

I in no way suggested that I thought she was doing anything wrong, so why such a defensive reaction?

ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 21:54:22

are you for real kiwi? pack it up and stop with the scaremongering really. TV is not the devil incarnate you know grin Babys like colour and have a gnats concentration sphere so a bit of telly now and again when one wants to do their hair isn't about to stilt their development.

AmberSocks Sun 24-Feb-13 21:56:42

I like tv,we actually didnt have a tv for a year or two and i missed it,not so much for the children but because sometimes its nice to just relax and watch something on the telly.

My kids dont watch much tv but i dont limit it,they dont seem bothered,i wish they would actually as it would make life easier for me!

As for its pros and cons,there are pros ad cons to everything,i think tv has some real educational value,same with video games.Saying that,i dont believe there is anything on tv you wouldnt learn about if you didnt have one iyswim.

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 21:56:57

Well all in moderation. Not hysterical, just concerned about the lack of understanding about the effects of flickering screens on babies. I do think it comes from a lack of parental education, having the TV on too much. Parents and carers who are clued-up on early childhood development tend to restrict TV for under 1s because they know its not developmentally appropriate.

ceeveebee Sun 24-Feb-13 21:57:58

5 mins here and there won't do any harm
And comparing TV to inhaling cigarette smoke? ODFOD

AmberSocks Sun 24-Feb-13 21:58:06

When i was breastfeeding dc3 whe dc1 and 2 were 2 and 11 months,tv was a godsend!

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 21:59:34

Yep, for real. My 2 year old loves TV, she has about an hour a day of DVDs or TV - that's appropriate. My 10 month old, well she is better off without it. When she's a bit older, no problem with starting her off on some educational programmes.

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 22:00:04

5 mins here and there, fine.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 22:01:55

Im clued up to the hilt kiwi, I won't bang on about what I do but TV is not the devil nor are video games nor are any other thing to do with technology. Balance is the key here. All these things are educational in their own right, abuse of them and no other interaction is what's wrong.

Quilty Sun 24-Feb-13 22:03:13

Well think some of the comments has answered my question. Didn't realise that tv even in small amounts was so taboo, so I guess that explains the defensiveness.
I hardly think the tv being on in the background is child abuse. Now I feel I need to make sure she knows I wasn't criticising sad

And I'll be adding tv to the list of things not to get into a discussion about with other parents. It's a minefield out there!

ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 22:08:29

It's silly huh OP. I never restricted anything to be honest and my off spring is very balanced and fuctional. They get a new game for instance and of course they want to play it more for a while. They get a phone and of course they want to be on it for a while. Don't we all when a new gadget/toy is bought. That's all it is and nine times out of 10 it will be on to the next so what?

The TV has been around for a long time and watching it will not send one mad, baby or not.

A person restricting and being contolling will though!

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Sun 24-Feb-13 22:08:52

Kiwi how do you stop your 10 month old from watching it if your 2 year old does? <genuine question, not looking for an argument>

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 22:11:09

I take her into another part of the room and read her a story or bring her with me to bang on some pots or something while I do the cooking. TBH it's nice to have some quiet one on one time with the baby with the 2 year old out of the way (and mesmerised!).

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 22:14:50

I honestly don't think life is that hard with a baby that the baby has to be plonked in front of the tv to have some time out. Get a grip, it's one baby - give him a chew toy or something!

ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 22:15:39

I would also have thought that doing those things were normal and instinctive too. A baby will get bored with the tv and follow you somewhere else surely?

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 22:25:29

Clipped, yes, she usually just follows me around. And yep, that's normal and instinctive. But if she did want to sit there staring at it I would quietly move her away on to something else. It may just be Fifi and the Flowertots to me and her sister, but to her its BLARING FLASHING WIZZ BANG FAST.

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 22:28:57

Lots of studies have shown the link between attention deficit/inability to concentrate and early TV watching behaviour. I don't want to link them because someone told me off for being a google monster before, but they are out there. Ignore them if you like, but on the other hand, its nice to do the right thing by your kids if you can.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 22:36:50

Oh pack it up kiwi. ADHD has nothing to do with a bit of telly, really it hasn't.

MorrisZapp Sun 24-Feb-13 22:39:47

What a load of pish. I didn't get where I am today by watching five minutes of telly now and then. I watch it for hours, like a normal person. Always have done.

My wee boy loves his programmes and learns loads from them. He's a lucky lad to have channels etc we could only have dreamed of. It causes me not one moment of unease, but my SIL has Done The Research and she's a scary mofo. I wouldn't blame anybody for getting on the defensive when faced with her, smiling assasin or no.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 22:42:56

babys wander and rightly so. if you stick one in a highchair for hours in front of the tv then it will obviously have an effect (more so from the non caring parental activity) but really scaremongering people about a few programmes that are rather colourful and bright is a bit rich really.

ceeveebee Sun 24-Feb-13 22:47:33

its nice to do the right thing by your kids if you can
Really? Gee, thanks for the parenting lessons kiwi

3monkeys3 Sun 24-Feb-13 22:55:39

I was really pfb about tv - ds1 was allowed to watch his Baby Einstein DVD once daily from the age of 6 months! Now, with 3dc under 5, I am more relaxed, but I still get the guilts about it - your friend probably feels the same and felt you were criticising.

As an aside, ds2 (dc3) has no doubt had the most exposure to tv from a young age and has had the quickest speech development of my dc. Probably a coincidence, but I don't think a little age appropriate tv does any harm.

SigmundFraude Sun 24-Feb-13 23:02:07

There's a fair bit of evidence suggesting that TV hinders development. I was absolutely adamant that my eldest wasn't going to watch TV, ever. I caved in when I had DS2, because DS1 found him extremely interesting and liked hurting playing with him.

Now they both watch it. But if anyone asked how much they watched (more than they should, probably) I'd feel defensive because TV=possible bad parenting (according to reports).

McNewPants2013 Sun 24-Feb-13 23:09:50

Why do people bring disabilities into threads like this.

Don't you think many parents with children with a disability wreck there brains about what they did wrong to have a child with ADHD, austism and any other disability.

Thank god for me I have laid that feeling to rest, because there is nothing I did wrong that my ds has austism.

munchkinmaster Sun 24-Feb-13 23:16:21

I was reading about the advice re no tv for under 2s the other day and wondered what counts as tv viewing. My baby doesn't watch tv in terms of kids programmes but I often have the tv on for me in the background. For example in the morning I'll watch the news while she potters or watch some crap at the end of the day. Not all day but it's well boring around here some days. She might glance at it but doesn't watch it really. Does this count as tv?

ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 23:21:06

Articles are just that, you could read a damn baby book and think your child isn't progressing.

My advice is stop doing this. Enjoy your child and do what you want to, if that means a few programmes on the tv then it does.

Throw the baby books on development etc. away. A child develops at their own rate, when not doing one particular thing that your friends child is doing they are developing other skills.

Stop it and don't compare!

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