This is something that I've always wondered but more so now that many of my friends are SAHMs. If your partner is the sole earner how can you buy him gifts or surprise treats for birthday/Xmas/fathers day without him knowing a) how much you've spent and b) where you bought it as it will surely appear on his bank statement so he'll know what it's likely to be. Then isn't it just like he buys his own gifts so isn't really being 'treated' by you at all as he paid for it?
This isn't meant to be a dig at SAHMs at all - good on you for being able to make it work. Financially I don't have any option but to go to work but I'm fortunate its only 3 days a week and I mostly enjoy my job, although I'd love to have more time at home with DS.
DP and I both put an equal amount of money in a joint account every month to cover mortgage, bills, food etc and anything we have left over is our own to pay for our own cars, phones and general spending money (I'm left with about £50 a month). So if I want to treat him or DS or buy gift for my mum I can do this without him knowing and it'll be a total surprise, surely not like this if you're completely reliant on his finances?
I enjoy having some financial independence and if it was all in one pot I think it would cause friction e.g. I like to buy clothes, go out for lunch which he thinks is unnecessary and he likes the odd flutter at the bookies which I think is wasteful. But it's our own money to do with what we like...do SAHMS need to ask their partner about every purchase and spending decision?
So tell me if I'm being unreasonable and you have some kind of logical solution to this part of sharing finances that I can't get my head around.
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to ask how SAHMs buy gifts for their DP and keep it a surprise
77 replies
pizzaqueen · 20/02/2013 21:34
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lockets ·
20/02/2013 21:35
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lockets ·
20/02/2013 21:39
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